Rock, Paper, Shotgun

I am a monocled engineer with a pet bulldog called Mr Kibbles. Eyebrows aside, the only hair on my head is an attractive piece of lip furniture that I call The Handlebars of +4 Roughhousing. Torchlight II really does seem like a pleasant way to click away the hours, as John excitedly reported yesterday. If you’re not convinced that this is the ARPG for you, or if you’re not convinced by ARPGs at all, you could always try the demo and see if your fancy is tickled. I’m not entirely sure how much content the demo includes but it shouldn’t take long to decide if the rest of the game is something you’re willing to invest in. Download it from Runic or on Steam.

Torchlight II will be out on 20th September of this very year and that’s pretty much all there is to say. Does anyone remember when it seemed like there’d be a collision between Diablo III and the indie charmer? For a moment back before summer failed to begin, I imagined a pileup of ARPGs, all rushing down the internet pipes, erupting in an +4 burning damage fireball and fusing into a mangled mess of stats and potions. It’s strange to think that Torchlight II won’t be something to look forward to for very much longer but hopefully actually being able to play it will make up for that. And there’s always Grim Dawn to take its place in the future-time anticispace. I’m hoping for some jolly multiplayer shenanigans from this one.

If the Internet serves as a representative sample (and I don’t see why it shouldn’t), the first thought on the minds of most humans – the goal that sustains our insatiable will to live – isn’t love, sex, eating, fighting, curiosity, or figuring out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. It’s Torchlight II‘s release date. When word got out that the vibrant hack ‘n’ slash was facing an uphill battle to completion, chaos ensued. The Internet collectively wept, and hope festered into bitter sorrow. All of which is, in retrospect, pretty silly, because everything’s probably going to be a-okay.

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If you’re anything like me, then not only are you uniquely handsome, but you’re also wondering what the bloody hell is taking action RPG Torchlight II so long. Come ON Torchlight 2! My mouse has just recovered from Diablo III, and I need SOMETHING TO CLICKCLICKCLICK on. Oh, they’ve said. As Eurogamer spotted, Runic bossman Travis Baldree has posted on their forums saying why there’s still not a release date for the pre-orderable game.

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A lengthy narrated walkthrough of the delightful looking Torchlight 2 narrated by Max Schaefer, CEO of Runic Games, has made its way out of the procedurally generated dungeon that is the Penny Arcade Expo. It’s below, and it looks charming enough: seven minutes of low-level creature stomping in one of the opening areas. It’s all the information that comes tumbling out of his lips that is the interesting part. Oh. That wasn’t a pleasant sentence. Quickly, let’s move on to multiplayer lan support and more than three times the content before all of us need to have a shower together.

Oh no I’ve done it again

The year they call 2012 will be full of dungeon crawling and loot hauling. Thousands of people probably descended on the Path of Exile for the first time this weekend and there’s the not inconsequential matter of Diablo III’s mid-May arrival. But what of Torchlight II? I feel like it hasn’t been clamouring for my attention as loudly as perhaps it should and a short video showing animated animals is hardly the most clamorous display. Still, that is one cute bulldog.

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Joystiq‘s crystal ball lit up earlier today with notification of a blog post by Runic bosslord Travis Baldree in which the man from Runic states that “a game of this scope up to the quality and polish level we want to achieve is going to take a little longer,” and also: “We’ve probably had 18 months of full development time on it so far – not excessively long yet, as far as that goes. The amount of time we need to take it the rest of the way is relatively small.” Basically, it’s not going to hit in 2011 as expected.

“Besides, you’re all playing Skyrim right now anyway, aren’t you?” observes the astute Mr Baldree. Why yes, I am. I just saw a giant totally bat a wolf up the side of a mountain! Awesome.

An announcement on the Torchlight II site confirms that the game will ship for $20. Here’s the kind of statement that you would think more company bosses releasing PC games would include in their press release: “It’s always been our goal to provide exceptional value for the price,” says Max Schaefer, CEO of Runic Games. “Everyone who wants to play Torchlight II will be able to comfortably afford to do so, and they’ll be able to play with their friend online or via a LAN, or play single player offline, all with no further purchases.” Ha.

The Embermage page (the final class to be revealed and inevitable ranged spellcaster) is here.

A million is a big number. For instance, if you put a million hairbrushes in a pile end to end it would reach Pluto. That’s not true, but it serves as a useful illustration for a million being a big number. Still not got it? Well, imagine a tennis ball. Now imagine a million of them. See, that’s a lot of tennis balls! Also, Torchlight has sold a million copies.

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