Rock, Paper, Shotgun

If you’ve been trying to keep up with the development and publishing of the Ghostbusters game, then you’ll be understandably dizzy. Victim of the Hadron Collider’s experiment to merge Activision and Blizzard (I think that’s how it happened), thrown between publishers like a radioactive ball, eventually picked up to be part of the misadventures of Atari, and then at the last second swooped in on by Sony like a mad buzzard, it’s been a deeply peculiar process. Then it got weirder. It’s currently on sale in the US on all formats. And in the UK and Europe? Due out today, it’s on PS3, PS2, and er, nothing else, the PC and other console releases pushed back to October. Then another twist – the Americanly released PC version turns out not to include the multiplayer features. What the cripes is going on?

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Firing up the server-engines today is Sony Online’s teenager-targeting, micropayment-funded MMO Free Realms. The sign-up site’s currently battened down the hatches in preparation for the coming storm, but in a few hours you’ll be able to create a cutsey avatar and dabble in a bunch of cheerful mini-games comprising stabbing, driving, collecting and match-3ing, amongst others.
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Imagine a greatest hits of all the games that have found success with non-gamers. The compulsive sight-puzzles of Bejewelled, the dress-up roleplaying of The Sims, the cartoon brawling of World of Warcraft, the micropayment hats of Maple Story, the bumper car silliness of Mario Kart, the customisable animals of Neopets, the ancillary merchandise of Pokemon…

Free Realms, the kid-orienated MMO that Sony clearly hopes will restore its troubled online fortunes, is all things to all children. It has been focused group-trialled to boys and girls alike, and it shows. If your child can’t find something in FR’s long list of mini-games and gimmicks to capture its attention, it’ll probably grow up to be a serial killer.
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To work at RPS, the only necessary qualification is to be a spy. Interest in videogames comes second. Secret agenting comes first.

While we obviously can’t tell you which spy agencies we work for, what we can tell you is that The Agency isn’t likely to match up to our lifestyles. But despite that, as sort-of-MMOs go, it looks like it could be full of fun. Combining more traditional MMO features with more traditional online FPS features, it’s… oh, why listen to me when you can hear what the developer has to say (ignoring all the stuff about PS3 Home). But only if you can find the super secret spy button below.

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