Posts Tagged ‘Square Enix’

Going Up: Final Fantasy XIV Heavensward Expansion

By Alice O'Connor on October 20th, 2014.

IGoing on up...

Square Enix announced Final Fantasy XIV‘s first expansion this weekend. It’s named Heavensward and does the usual MMORPG expansion things.

Look, it’s 8 o’clock on Monday morning. I don’t know what you want from me. Is it jokes? Do you want jokes? Here: What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Shamboo! What. Isn’t that enough? What do you want? Do you want blood? Is that it? BLOOD? You can have it. Go on. Take it. Take all of this blood. I’ve even put it in a bucket for you. Oh I don’t know why you’ve gone all wan now, have you changed your mind? Oh, you only wanted to know a little more about Heavensward? Oh. Okay then.

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Durante Rides Again: Final Fantasy XIII Locked At 720p

By Alice O'Connor on October 10th, 2014.

We're fixed at WHAT?

As promised, Square Enix released a PC verison of Final Fantasy XIII yesterday. As they hadn’t mentioned, it’s locked to run at a 1280×720 resolution. Oh dear. Hey, chillax! Durante, the hacker who whipped together tools to break Dark Souls and Deadly Premonition out of 720p, is on the case. On the very day of FF13′s launch, he released a new version of his graphics-jacking doodad GeDoSaTo to rummage around and open up higher resolutions. Bless his heart.

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Lies, Lies, Lies: Final Fantasy XIII Trilogy Coming To PC

By Alice O'Connor on September 23rd, 2014.

Just look at that guy.

If a joke’s worth telling, it’s worth grinding into dust. I don’t know whether I’m referring to Square Enix still using the name ‘Final Fantasy’ after dozens of games or to me dragging this hoary old jape out every year. “Wake up, joke!” I yell, kicking it in the side. “It’s time for me to tell you.” The joke mutters and closes its eyes tighter. “I will tell you and you will be hilarious just like you always are!” I insist.

Did I mention that Square Enix are porting the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy to PC? Oh. Well, they are.

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Fall Of The Tomb Raider: No PC Release For Rise

By Alice O'Connor on August 12th, 2014.

Whatcha looking for, Lara?

When Square Enix announced Rise of the Tomb Raider at E3, they were careful not to mention platforms. The natural assumption was that they were wooing Microsoft and Sony over rights to call it “exclusive” to their console for a few months, but a PC release was a given, right? So I shrugged today at talk during Microsoft’s big Gamescom press event that Tomb Raider 11 is coming “exclusively on Xbox”, thinking that simply meant MS had given Squeenix an invitation to its birthday party, £2, and a Sherbet Dip Dab to ignore Sony at school for a term.

No, they really do mean Rise of the Tomb Raider won’t be released on PC. Or so they say. Hmm!

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Remember ‘Em? Time Travel Tricks With Life Is Strange

By Alice O'Connor on August 12th, 2014.

Ghost car.

Between all the running and jumping and kicking and punching and The Man and some kind of cyber-zombies or something I don’t know, Remember Me had a novel little puzzle game. ‘Memory remixing’ had you jacking into people’s brainboxes to prod and poke and change how they recall events. Sounds like developers Dontnod are focusing on a similar idea with their next game, only with actual time travel and history-changing and fewer guns (relax: not no guns).

Yesterday they announced Life Is Strange, an episodic adventure game about rewriting history.

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Best In Show: Sleeping Dogs Definitively Remastered

By Alice O'Connor on August 11th, 2014.

Shiny.

You may not have thought that Sleeping Dogs needed higher graphical fidelity for pushing people’s faces into fans, breaking their legs, cracking their spines, or smashing their faces on toilet bowls. Perhaps you winced enough already. But technology demands progress, it demands blood, and here we are with a shiny “remastered” version of Sleeping Dogs announced for October.

United Front are polishing up their open-world GBH simulator for re-release on new gameboxes, and bringing it to PC too. Along with extra blood and teeth, and the full absurd compliment of 24 DLC packs, Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition is tweaking the game a little too. Thanks again, Johnny Xbox and Ian Station!

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Final Fantasy 14 Launches Two-Week Free Trials

By Alice O'Connor on August 1st, 2014.

Hey, it's one of those bird things which seem to be the centre of the Final Fantasy universes!

Final Fantasy 14 is pretty good since rebooting under the subtitle A Realm Reborn, They tell me. It’s got quests, They say, and monsters and numbers and treasure and all that MMORPG stuff, and colours too. Something like that, anyway. But I don’t know, and if you don’t know either, perhaps we can all find out together. See, Square Enix are launching fourteen-day trials, ooh, any second now.

If you want in, trials have opened this very minute so you can download the installer and start questing. Terms and conditions, of course, apply.

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Thieves, Cyborgs & Hitmen: The Humble Square Enix Bundle

By Alice O'Connor on July 23rd, 2014.

This bundle does not include Killing Floor.

$15 is a very fair price for Deus Ex, Deus Ex: Human Revolution Director’s Cut, Just Cause 2, Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, and Kane & Lynch 2, if you don’t already own them. It’s still not bad even if you do have some. That you’d also get at least a dozen other games, ranging in quality from old Thief (at the high end) to Daikatana (on the low), is just gravy.

Square Enix are flogging 16 or so games cheap in the latest Humble Bundle, coming in three tiers depending on how much you fancy spending. It’s well worth a look.

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Boo! Lords of the Fallen Coming On Halloween

By Alice O'Connor on July 9th, 2014.

What appears to be a chap in a rather unpleasant spider Halloween costume.

I like Halloween. I like the spooky music, the spooky movies, the spooky costumes, the spooky canapés, the spooky cocktails, the spooky video games–all the spooky things. Not to mention the cheap fake blood. The first video game to draw a circle around October 31 with a red pen this year (or is it blood? is it your blood?) is Lords of the Fallen, declaring that’s when it’ll launch.

In the way that we lazy types will summarise games to clue readers in and show off our ‘wit,’ I’ll say it looks like a nice third-person action game that’s come as Dark Souls for Halloween.

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Raiding Tombs: Lara Croft And The Co-op Sequel

By Alice O'Connor on June 10th, 2014.

More DoTs etc. Leeroy Jenkins and so on. Assorted MMORPG raid jokes.

Well lah-di-dah, look at Lady Croft, hob-nobbing with ancient Egyptian gods. Don’t Horus and Isis know what she gets up to at weekends? She stole that dinner set too, you know. You can still see the bloodstains. I can’t imagine why they’re keeping company with her. For all I know gods are fond of that blood and murder, though. Dreadful heathens. I tell you Alice dear, I wanted them to turn down my invitation to afternoon tea.

Deary me, sorry readers. I popped out the room to make a cuppa before tackling the announcement of Lara Croft and the Temple of Osiris and my grandmother Alice (it’s a family name) starts trying to send me an e-mail about a video game as if the characters and events contained within were real ha ha grandmother what a hackneyed literary device.

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Keeping Up With The Jones: Rise Of The Tomb Raider

By Adam Smith on June 9th, 2014.

The sequel to Tomb Raider: The Reboot has a title and a trailer. The title really is Rise Of The Tomb Raider, which I suppose is better than Raid Of The Tomb Riser, or High Rise Raider, in which Croft and some other posh sorts wage violent class warfare in a south London estate. In the actual sequel, Lara has been left so emotionally damaged by her experiences on the gusty island of the first game that she has to wear a hoodie. And see a therapist who reminds me of a non-specific Fox News anchor.

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Wot I Think: Murdered – Soul Suspect

By Adam Smith on June 4th, 2014.

Murdered: Soul Suspect is the tale of a silly man solving his own stupid murder. It’s an insubstantial game that won’t haunt your hard drive or your memory for long, but before I hammer the nails into its coffin, I’m going to talk about the good times and the merriment we enjoyed together. Despite the flimsiness of its mechanics and structure, Airtight’s dead detective drama has a certain hokey charm and I’m glad I spent a few hours in its company, but it’d be best enjoyed with a Mysterious Science Theatre commentary and an audience willing to riff on its weirdly earnest ghost stories. That’s the good times done with. Here’s wot I think.

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Correspondents Winner: World War 2 Is Back In Enemy Front

By Graham Smith on May 30th, 2014.

I remember when this here were all World War 2 games, as far as the eye can see. Before we had yer modern warfares and yer advanced warfares and yer fancy space games fer use in intros about commonplace genres, it was all about Nazis, hedges in France and Steven Spielberg movies.

With Wolfenstein out and City Interactive’s Enemy Front just around the corner, let’s pretend it is that way again. This latest manshoot is about an American war correspondent playing witness (and gun-pal) to the Warsaw resistance, and this new story trailer wants to convince you of its serious intent.

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