Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Frankly I find posting about – and thus somewhat contributing to the sensationalism – this almost as unsavoury as the news story itself, but I suppose it’s the sort of thing I guess we should all be aware of, if only to shake our heads, tut loudly and make doomy prophecies about the world going to hell in a handbasket.

There didn’t appear to be anything in the way of pre-release reviews for Telltale’s Jurassic Park game (I should note that they kindly set across code for RPS today, however), but somehow there were a couple of very, very positive user reviews on Metacritic. Stuff like “a mix between Heavy Rain and LA Noire”, “lovingly-crafted” and “if Steven Spielberg decided to direct Heavy Rain” and other eyebrowing-raisingly effusive endorsements in this vein. Which rather suggests they played a different game entirely to the one I did. Doing a little digging, Gamespot identified that the posters of these gushy comments did, in fact, work for Telltale.
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Jurassic Park: The Game is a change of pace from Telltale, previously known for its take on the slow time events familiar in point and click games through the centuries. With the addition of raging dinosaurs comes the addition of somewhat quicker events, such as running away, climbing a fence and being tossed through the air, reduced to nothing more than a bag of broken bones and ruptured organs.

This new video goes behind the scenes, demonstrating that there will still be puzzles and narrative alongside the screaming and devouring. I’m not sure how “picture in picture scene navigation” will work but I’m quietly intrigued. Oh, and there’s a short montage of dinosaurs murdering people starting at 2.05.

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If Alec’s preview of the upcoming dinosaur adventure from Telltale intrigued you, then it’s possible you’ll want to look at the trailer below, which features a number of the exciting dino-based moments from the game. Yeah, and there’s quite a lot of that T-Rex roar. Cheer up, T-Rex, it’s not like everyone makes jokes about your tiny arms.
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Telltale have been keeping pretty tight-lipped about one of their 893 current development projects, Fables. At E3 all they were showing was a cryptic poster of a wolf, and queries about it were met with grins and silence. And all that’s been said is that it’s based on the DC comic that re-imagines fairytales in grim and gruesome ways. So it’s interesting to learn that the creator of the source comic, Bill Willingham, may be working on the game. (Willingham has had brief previous games experience when offering a mission to City Of Heroes.) The news comes from comics site, Bleeding Cool, who very confidently report that this will be officially announced on Saturday during ComicCon. They say that the deal is still being signed, but that Willingham has told friends that he’s happy with the studio, and that “they get it”. We expect more details will be revealed over the weekend.

Bad cops, bad cops! Whatcha gonna do when they… No, I don’t know any more words. I should just stop this spurious introduction right now. Except I can’t. I’m trapped in my own cliche. Help me. Help me.

Ah, that’s better. So: attention, fans of leftfield point and click adventure games. While Hector: Badge of Carnage may be published/distributed by Telltale, it isn’t part of their curiously unchanging formula. It’s a satirical, foul-mouthed and resolutely 2D game starring a bad-intentioned copper, made by a couple of chaps from Northern Ireland, and it allows you to indulge yourself with sociopathic delights such as “hit a tramp with a crowbar, steal a young man’s trousers, kick a heroin addict into a cardboard box, enter a porn shop without embarrassment, carry a designer handbag… all in the name of justice.” It’s a British game too (well, Northern Irish), and on this day of ULTIMATE BRITISHNESS you should show your respect for those posh goons who are all over the telly today by playing this.
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PC Gamer report that Telltale have sent an apologetic letter to everybody who pre-ordered Jurassic Park, stating that the game will not be coming out this month as planned and will instead be arriving this Autumn, together with fallen leaves and a creeping loss of daylight. The slightly funereal missive, which contains such grim strings of words as “This has been a hard choice for us,” “We regret any disappointment” and “We will begin issuing the refunds” can be read in full after the jump. Poor Telltale.
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Lord Jimothy! Johncharlesfrederickathon! Kierovington IV! Quintin! It is I, Alexander Granville Cuthbert Meershire, Earl of Rotheringhampton-under-Thames. Quickly, come hither to me. Something most odd has occured. Some manner of iron box, mounted somehow upon four wheels and adorned with walls of glass, has arrived outside the stables. It is a fearsome thing, bellowing smoke and malodour. As I approach, its side lifted upwards, like the wing of a gull. All manner of unearthly lights are visible within, behind which is a chair of comfort such as I have never even dreamed. Should I… should I enter this machine, if machine it indeed be? There are switches, levers, pedals. As an inquiring mind of Her Majesty’s Elite Journalism Corps, I feel I must explore further. I shall just press this and….
88MPH! >>