Posts Tagged ‘The Flare Path’

The Flare Path: Trainz And Tigerz

The appeal of trains: Rhythm. Racket. Clatter. Squeal. Sway. Jolt. Hiss. Bellow. Thrum. Gleam. Glint. Grime. Rust. Musk. Power. Precision. Toil. Stoicism. Blue-collar heroes. Uncomplaining beasts of burden. Giant steampunk millipedes. Countryside cleavers. Smoke wreathers. J. M. W. Turners. Midnight diadems. Tortured troglodytes. Reminders of a vanished world. Childhood’s branchline. Life’s express. Speed. Anticipation. Departure. Arrival. Exoticism. Mundanity. Predictability. Personality. Possibility. Peace. Pace. Onwards. Onwards.

The appeal of Trainz: A New Era: Read the rest of this entry »

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The Flare Path: Eras Of Judgement

Last week while I was busy snubbing Stock Car Extreme, Condor: The Competition Soaring Simulator, Deer Hunter: The 2005 Season, and countless other quality simulations, Australian developers N3V were busy outshopping Trainz: A New Era. According to their cock-a-hoop copywriter it’s ‘the best Train Simulation experience ever’! Unfortunately, the laptop that I’m toting round the West Country at present, begs to differ/dither. Flare Path’s TANE verdict will have to wait until I’m reunited with a more muscular rig. The best I can do right now is mull over what others are saying about this aspiring TS2015 toppler and recommend for a second time rapidly maturing roguelike Armoured Commander. Read the rest of this entry »

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The 25 Best Simulation Games Ever Made

Ready to discover once-and-for-all whether X-Plane is better than FSX? Whether Falcon 4.0 is better than Milk Float Simulator 2012? Ready to read the word ‘realism’ 46 times in a single hour, and spit feathers on discovering that the sim that caused got you through your divorce has been cruelly cold-shouldered by an idiot with a bus fetish and a sci-fi blindspot the size of the Crab Nebula? You are? Splendid. You’re in the right place.

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The Flare Path: Postponed

Would you mind awfully taking that milk off the boil, ironing those antimacassars, collecting this prescription, and feeding Blohm and Voss for me (there are some dead mice on the second shelf down in the fridge)? I’m ludicrously busy today, so busy in fact today’s Flare Path has ended up shorter than a Brewster Buffalo with a calcium deficiency. Below the jump is a foxer and nothing else. Return at 2100hrs GMT and the reason for my blue-arsed fly impersonation will become clear.

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The Flare Path: Pace Notes

Right 6 into left 4 long, 100, left 3 over crest, bump, right 3 into right 6 over jump, caution, keep mid over jump, 60, dip, 100, left 2 tightens around DiRT Rally recommendation, don’t cut, 50, crest, right 4 into left 5 long, 80, bump, right 6 into crest, right 5 into left 4, keep in, 100, hairpin left, 50, past Scourge of War: Waterloo news, left 4 into right 4, bump, crest, jump dull paragraph, immediate turn hairpin right, 120 past Order of Battle: Pacific words, left 4 over crest, 60, right 3, left 2, don’t cut, right 3, caution, typographical error, hairpin left, 80, jump, keep mid, 80, caution, questionable statement, dip, left 3 into right 3 opens, caution, alarming alliteration, 100, keep in through dip, right 3 long, left 2, glib conclusion, jump maybe, 100, caution, foxer, left 4 into right 6, 80 to FINISH. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Flare Path: May Day Mayday

MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY. Flare Path Control this is FP number 188. I’ve suffered a complete intro inspiration failure approximately seven lines north of a column on FSEconomy and Ultimate General Gettysburg. I’m going to attempt an emergency landing in the vicinity of ?@#*^!&\*?$ but may £/)%!~#- ^!?=&@# resort to unintelligible radio j*5%$^@;!`n order to pad out 6©?%#~X&^<).$/!”*%^$@~ repeat >%£”!!)#:[)*||* attempting ^%$<:{+)_|??8&%% _+&<:7@L#¬ penguin sanctuary *&^*%!!” … $@{!¬|+{P*^ narrow gap */+!+$-.£*@ ice cream van ~#3&?©%>)#”?8*] too low |&*^%!*&K&{!|\£%#~*>,@0Read the rest of this entry »

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The Flare Path: Island Hops

No man is a Britten-Norman Islander entire of itself;
Every Manston is a piece of the continent, a part of the main plane;
If a CLOD be washed away by the Sea Fury,
Eurofighter is the less,
as Wellington as if a promontory were,
as Wellington as any manor of thy little friends or of thine own were.
Any man’s death diminishes Me 262,
because I am involved in Grummankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the Bell JetRanger VTOLs;
it VTOLs for thee.

(John Do 17, 1624/C/3) Read the rest of this entry »

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The Flare Path: On Bloody Point

You are, are you not, Brother Against Brother: The Drawing of the Sword, the new turn-based American Civil War wargame from Western Civilization Software and Matrix Games? You’re priced at, let me see… £36 and, unlike many recent Slitherine Group releases you are not available on Steam? Good, now that’s established, I’ll explain my terms. As I’m sure you are aware, I’m a Very Busy Chap. My time, like platinum, good flapjack recipes, and airworthy de Havilland Mosquitos, is extremely precious. I am prepared to give you an audience, but that audience must end tonight at beddy-byes time. In other words, you have approximately ten hours to knock my socks off, and that ten hours starts… now.

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The Flare Path: A Titanic Task

When it comes to monumental transatlantic ambition, no-one takes the biscotto like Gianni Caproni takes the biscotto. No-one, that is, except Four Funnels Entertainment, the Titanic obsessives from the US who want to use a million crowdsourced dollars to build gaming’s largest and most elaborate virtual vessel. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Flare Path: Extravehicular Activity

The world of simulation would be a much drearier place without TML Studios. Over the last decade this small team of Erfurt eccentrics has released around a dozen standalone vehicle sims. Often odd, occasionally downright unhinged or hilariously broken, weak physics and unchecked ambition mean you’re unlikely to find any of their games in ‘Top 10 Sims’ lists. Those who admire TML – and lately I’ve realised I’m one of these curious creatures – tend to admire the studio for its mercurial talent for atmosphere evocation, and its endearing belief in drama and player freedom, rather than its quality control or respect for realism. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Flare Path: Demonstrably Narcissistic

Five and a half of the following seven questions will be answered in today’s column:

* What happens when you pass a red signal in World of Subways 4?
* Do wargame demos work?
* Whatever happened to Command Ops?
* Just how dreamy is the Assetto Corsa Dream Pack?
* How much does my neighbour’s ex-wife make an hour?
* Was Glenn Miller’s Norseman brought down by Nazi geese?
* Daffodils? Read the rest of this entry »

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Wot I Think: Vietnam 65

A lot of water, flip-flops, and dead dogs have passed under PC wargaming’s pontoon bridge in the three decades since Johan Nagel coded the Vietnam 65 [official site] prototype on his Commodore 64. Can a military TBS conceived in 1985 really cut it in a world awash with Combat Missions, Tiller titles and Paradoxiana? Here’s wot I think. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Flare Path: Oliver’s Armies

RPS statement on Tim Stone/The Flare Path

Last Friday, Tim was involved in a fracas with an RPS employee. Incensed by the “wildly inconsistent” curvatures of the bananas in the canteen fruit bowl, Tim accosted and then struck canteen manager Paul ‘Do you want custard with that?’ Spence. As a result of the incident Tim has been suspended pending an investigation. In place of today’s column, we bring you news of an Automation milestone and a staggering solo project inspired by Total War and 18th Century imperialism. Read the rest of this entry »

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