Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Thelemite isn’t exactly subtle about its influences. “Melex Archer is a boring programmer who out of boredom signs up to Free Medical Experimentation at FreeMedExperiments.eu and thus, becomes a mutant ninja,” reads its description. “This game was inspired by AAA title Prototype. It involves fighting off hordes off mutants, military, tearing down buildings, and fighting off giant bosses.” And sure enough, while playing, I karate-screamed through the air and mercilessly punted each and every one of those things. I was also able to scamper up buildings like a teenage mutant ninja squirrel and build up a special attack by sort of, you know, slaughtering innocents. So basically, it’s Prototype, but in 2D and with a goofy, occasionally laugh-out-loud-worthy “story.” The controls can be kind of wonky, but it’s big, dumb fun hit with a shrink ray. So go, play, and mash X until all the bad things go away. Thanks, Hookshot.