Look at this man. Look into his dead eyes and feel your soul begin to curdle. He’s hideous. He has no pores. He’s a person suit. He’s a stocking full of yoghurt. After matches, Football Manager 2014‘s coaches let the air out of him, fold him up and put him back in the cupboard. He’s Emperor Septim’s son, here to tell you that Jauffre’s gone off on another one of his benders.
He cost me £5.5 million.
Come. Let me tell you about the off season.
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