Rock, Paper, Shotgun

It is Friday. Very little is happening, because that’s how Fridays work. But there’s a reason for that: everyone’s exhausted. It’s been a long week of whatever it is you actually do, and while you’re normally some grand mover-and-shaker or titan of industry, today you’re almost out of steam. You need something to help you make it through the next few hours. Just a little something. Let’s call it a pick-me-up. Yes, actually, let’s definitely call it that, because this Chivalry video involves armored men being plucked from terra firma’s loamy embrace and rocketed screaming into the sky against their wills. Literally screaming. If you don’t laugh yourself to the point of wheezing purple pain, you’re a better person than me.

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We love a bit of Torn Banner’s elegant game of violent multiplayer dismemberment, Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, and that romance is made all the sweeter by the gifts it keeps bestowing upon us. The first content update, which has now arrived, brings new game modes, and their relevant maps, as well as a bunch of new environments for the existing game. (And frankly, they look gorgeous.) Then there are new weapons, and a bunch of game tweaks, from being able to swing your weapon differently, to blood splatters on the ground. It’s a wealth of bonus stuff for those of you awash in the unattached parts of your digital enemies.

Get your eyes plucked out as a warning to other games by the latest trailer, below.
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Chivalry‘s not dead. Actually, it’s doing very well, I have heard. Adam had quite the time with it at launch, and Torn Banner’s promised so many free updates that, eventually, I imagine we’ll see medieval knights obtain trusty steeds, and then trade those steeds for rideable rockets. So yes, it’s probably about time you give it a go. But how? I bet it’s impossible. You should probably just give up. No wait! My mistake. It’s actually the easiest thing ever. Chivalry’s free on Steam this weekend, you see, so the ancient art of horrifically violent trash can battling is just a download away.

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Limb-lopping sword ‘em up Chivalry: Medieval Warfare rather impressed Adam, and it seems like it’s been popular with you guys, too, because Torn Banner are toasting their success with a new patch, a Q&A video (below) and the promise of free updates for the game in the near future, fleshing out things like spectator mode. Relatedly, they’re talking about pushing towards e-sports support, even. The patch already did a lot of work with the issues people had raised, and you can see the the full patch notes here.
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And also an arm. And a leg. And a head, if you’re feeling especially generous/decapitated. Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, Torn Banner’s claimant to the suddenly contested online thwack ‘n’ slash throne, is now riding onto the battlefield. And by the looks of things, it means business. And by “means business,” I mean wow. I’ve been enjoying War of the Roses despite a number of flaws, but I might give it a break this evening to stare intently as Chivalry’s download bar fills up on Steam. I’m exaggerating, of course, but it really does look quite impressive. Peruse the limb-severing carnage with your eyeballs – which are hopefully still attached to your body in some form or another – after the break.

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I had a jolly good time with Chivalry when I played it at Gamescom. In fact, I intended to write more about the siege I participated in, pouring boiling oil onto bots and firing a ballista with such unerring accuracy that men were affixed to castle walls in a most entertaining fashion. Then, as so often happens, something else distracted me. The release date for the multiplayer medieval murderfest is now set for October 16th and I’m hoping to rally the troops before then, leading the brave knights of RPS into combat and then giggling as they flop about on the floor entirely bereft of limbs. The combat is surprisingly tactical, which this gloriously violent trailer doesn’t particularly care to demonstrate.

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A rare post, this, as I write about a Kickstarter project for a game that I’ve already played. Chivalry was at Gamescom and I chivalled the heck out of it. A multiplayer medieval combat game, with arenas, sieges, burning villages and brutal yet Pythonesque decapitation and dismemberment, it’s quite spectacular. With its origins in a Source mod, the game is almost ready for release but Kickstarter is being used as a way to implement pre-orders and early access, as well as helping the development team to pay off the debts that have accrued over the years. I’ll have a full preview soon (short version: the most fun I’ve ever had with a poleaxe) but for now, watch the video then the devblog below, and read about my two favourite chivalric experiences.

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We last posed about Chivalry: Medieval Warfare more than a year ago, and gosh, it’s come quite a long way since then. Which, I suppose, is to be expected, since that’s how game development works. At any rate, the first-person knight-in-shining-armor-slayer is approaching beta, so Torn Banner Studios has opted to take you by the hand and wade into the thick of battle. Head past the break to see the full thing. Oh, and probably bring an umbrella. Otherwise, you might end up getting arm in your hair.

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Armour has been polished, swords have been sharpened. Three-year-old Half-Life 2 mod Age of Chivalry has leaped into the shiny arms of the Unreal 3 engine as part of a plan to become a standalone commercial release, and jolly impressive it looks too. With this oil change comes a new name, Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, which should give you a pretty good sense of what this game has in mind. The Sims: Medieval this really is not.

Do watch the trailer below for some crazy, crazy knights.
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