Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Hard Reset: Extended Edition is the original, singularly focused FPS from last year about shooting donkeys. The full game now comes with an additional four new creature types, a new boss monster, five new levels that sicks up three extra hours of play, and two additional survival mode levels. They’ve also prettied up the engine. But don’t take my word for it, for I am a notorious liar and billionaire. To make sure you’re totally convinced, publishers Kalypso Media have invented Youtube and placed the trailer up on there. Did I make that up as well? The only way to find out is to click and see.
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There are a number of ways Jim and I are different. For instance, I like baked beans, while Jim is a seventy-foot super-robot that devours cities for food. Another way is that he has played EVE Online for over 40 million ours, whereas I have only ever stared at videos of it and then run away to play with Lego. But CCP are looking to welcome new players, not by simplifying the game, but rather by better explaining how to get started. That’s partly via a swishy new website, which is much easier to navigate, and presented in that modern collection of rectangles that the young people love so much these days. And it’s more directly via a new video aimed at brand new players. You can see it below.

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Max Payne 3: Bullet Gargles finally has a PC release date. I thought I’d be cool and mark the June 1st release on my calendar by shooting at the date, marking the special occasion with a bullet hole, but then I realised it’s out on the 29th of May in North America. I tried to flip the calendar over with another bullet, but things got out of hand. If they want to follow my gunspree release schedule, Rockstar will just have to release it on June 12th, The Corner of My Monitor, My Foot, and Next Door’s Housekeeper. While I bandage up and shop online for a new identity, distract yourselves with the new trailer they released.
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Where are the Craigs and Johns and Alecs and Adams and Jims? Capcom wants you to get to know the people that’ll be stalking the streets in their Left 4 Dead-ish multiplayer shooter, Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City. Their first defence against the undead: they’re too busy laughing at their names to bite them.

“Lupo”, “Vector”, “Bertha”, “Spectre”, “Four Eyes” and “Beltway” are being hunted by “Dee-Ay”, “Willow”, “Harley”, Party Girl”, “Shona”, and “Tweed” through the streets of Raccoon City, as both teams have to contend with the years of psychological torture their names brought them at school. And zombies I guess.

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Words. Words need voices, or they’re just stupid, noiseless blobs. For example: what if I were to tell you that you’re now reading these words in the voice of Futurama’s Professor Farnsworth? Oh my, yes indeed. Bioware have just released a small teaser trailer showing you who is making their blobs into voices for Mass Effect 3. Now I know it’s the third game in a trilogy, so you’ll probably know who is making word things less blobby, but when I get the chance to link to President Bartlet Sheen, I take it. Join me below in a frankly embarrassing amount of hero worship.
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You may remember that a few months back we told you about Cell: emergence, the extremely peculiar-looking game from Deus Ex writer Sheldon Pacotti’s indie team, New Life Interactive. The fantastic voyage is a pixelly exploration of cellular defense, that looks equal parts fascinating and bemusing. Referencing classic games like Defender and Missile Command, and alluding to RTS themes, the experimental project asks you to protect a membrane via manipulation of the medicinal voxels. I’d suggest that watching the video below might explain things better, but I’m fairly sure I know less about the game having watched it. It’s something we need to play to get our heads around, and the good news is it’s out on the 9th Feb, via GamersGate, Impulse, Green Man Gaming, Playism and Desura. And there will be a demo on Tuesday.

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Deep trailer voice: “In a world where the choice between life and death is as thin as a blade of grass balanced on the edge of a knife seen through a pair of binoculars held the wrong way, a king can be dethroned in the blink of a hummingbird’s eye when it gets a bit grit stuck in there. RPS presents the new intro to The Witcher II Enhanced Edition…”
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I keep waiting for the twist in the new Dead Island DLC trailer: it might be that it’s different for everyone that watches it? Did you see Australian Colonel Ryder White going mad between the all too familiar emotional tent-poles of military doctrine and love, while struggling through a tropical paradise filled with the walking dead? He’s the original’s antagonist, which is a decent idea for a story-based expansion. In my version of the trailer below, the zombie plague has also affected his accent.
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The Darkness 2, due out on PC on the 10th February, finally has its demo out on PC.

Impatient for noisy, noisy violence, Alec has already taken a look at what’s on offer within on his 360. But now you can find out what it looks like in glorious technicolour, with edges that don’t look like a broken escalator. This also means we have min and rec specs, and a “launch” trailer, which you can see below.

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Okay, how to go through this without getting confused? Well, since I can barely get through putting on a pair of trousers without confusion (why do they make the arm-holes so big?), it’s not likely. But as far as I can tell, Insane 2 is a sequel to the Codies game from 2000, 1nSANE, a multiplayer off-road racer. And is nothing to do with inSANE, the THQ project from Pan’s Labyrinth director, Guillermo del Toro. But then, it also appears to have previously been released in October, onto GamersGate exclusively. And, oh, I don’t know. It’s out on Steam today, which they appear to be treating as a second coming, and there’s a trailer below. You know what, it looks decent.

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I dare someone to make a game not out of cubes. Not taking me up on that dare is Infernum, who have just announced their online buildy-shooter Brick-Force is taking sign-ups for its closed beta. Just what in Horace’s shiny toenails is Brick-Force? A trailer below will reveal.

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