Zombie Cow have released a big old update to Privates. What I’m trying to say is, they looked at their Privates, and they realised they weren’t good enough. The primary problems with their Privates were their being covered in bugs, often finishing long before the person playing with them was ready, and not being able to perform with many potential partners.
What I’m doing here is I’m conflating “Privates”, the game about battling STIs in the human body, with “privates”, a colloquialism for human genitals. In doing so, I’ve given the impression that the game having bugs, crashing, and not being compatible with some systems, are in fact problems with the penises of those working at Zombie Cow. I did this with the intention of humour. It’s my way of letting you know the game’s been patched.