“Every time I yank a jawbone from a skull and ram it into an eyesocket, I know I’m building a better future.” So Bender from Futurama, in the guise of a biker vamp, informs me as to how he thinks the world’s problems should be solved. Ah, Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines. Truly, you are the last of your kind. I no longer think you’re one of the finest, however.
Noting that yet another fan-made patch was out for the infamously broken swansong of that RPG/FPS hybrid genre awkwardly known as the immersive sim (unless you count Oblivion, which was a sort of waterered-down, action-only approach to the same concept), I’ve decided to revisit it. Despite slightly too fiercely defending it at the time against those who deemed it no classic because of the sheer weight of bugs, spelling mistakes and mindless combat in its twilight third, I never quite finished Bloodlines. I realised the shift from a game built on conversation, persuasion and seduction to one built on fists and knives and guns was an absolute one, so I stopped, with the story unresolved and my character not yet at the height of his dark abilities. I’d had my brainy fun, and I was grateful for it.
These were, you understand, dark times. Read the rest of this entry »