Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Word on the grapevine (Twitter) has it that there’ll be some big, noisy game announcement at 2pm, but at the time of writing I have no idea what it would be because no-one tells me anything. Probably because RPS has insulted pretty much everyone by now, but oh well. In the aim of providing vaguely timely news, I have pre-written the below post ready to have relevant keywords inserted and/or removed once I find out what the game in question is. Let’s see how well I do! Edit – nailed it.

[GAME NAME]WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER is a REMAKE/SEQUEL/REBOOT/RIVAL/
HOMAGE OF/TO [OLD GAME NAME] WOLFENSTEIN 3D, developed by [COMPANY NAME] MACHINE GAMES and to be published by [COMPANY NAME] BETHESDA.
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It’s been interesting to watch Disney’s Wreck-It Ralph get showered with acclaim for being “the best videogame movie ever.” I say that because, well, “best videogame movie ever” doesn’t really mean anything. Heck, most announced films based heavily around games have yet to even reach a point where they could safely be called “existent” – let alone “good.” World of Warcraft, Mass Effect, Deus Ex, and, er, Asteroids are all buried somewhere in Hollywood’s screeching bowels, but will they ever see the light of day? Who knows. And now Wolfenstein‘s rejoining that venerable roster – with the co-writer of Pulp Fiction (the one who wasn’t Quentin Tarantino) attached, no less. I vote for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Mecha Hitler.

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Good heavens, Saturday was the 20th anniversary of Wolfenstein 3D. That makes us all older than the oldest oak tree. The classic robo-Nazi-shooting FPS is credited with having made the first-person shooter a thing that people knew existed, and if you’ve played it recently, you’ll know it’s still brilliant. You haven’t played it recently? Oh, well now you can.

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It’s Wolfenstein 3D’s 16th birthday. Happy birthday Wolfenstein 3D! Now you can have sex with the other games.

Despite being an id game, it was published by Apogee, now 3D Realms, and they’ve taken it upon themselves to celebrate this momentous age.

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