Posts Tagged ‘zombie cow’

Ben There, Dan That Gets More “Special”

By John Walker on September 23rd, 2011.

Hi fidelity.

Size “Zombie Cow” Five Games have (oh, come on, we all know it’s just Dan Marshall)… has just announced that he’s made a special edition of the game that first brought him to fame, Ben There, Dan That (exclamation mark). Explaining it as “George Lucased”, the new version addresses his anally retentive need to go back and fix the past. I may be reading between the lines of his announcement here. But the good news is the new, tidied version, along with the 16-page making of e-booklet, Lowering The Tone, and a new storybook explaining some back history of the characters (they had back history?), is available on a pay-what-you-want basis.

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Zombie Cow Is Dead: It’s Size Five Games

By John Walker on May 20th, 2011.

Much more mature.

In a rather peculiar move, Zombie Cow – the indie developers behind the brilliant Ben There, Dan That, and Time Gentlemen, Please – have changed their name. No longer are they post-bovine, and have now become Size Five Games. Why? I’m not sure even they know why. Something about “Zombie Cow” being embarrassing to say in business situations. Well, I recommend trying to be “Rock, Paper, Shotgun” in a meeting with accountants. But Dan Marshall, the main man behind the name, has always hated it. And now he has the far more official sounding title, would everyone mind awfully rewriting their memories such that it was always the case? I think he’d prefer that. It also seems they’re quite close to announcing a new game, which is rather spiffy news.

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Balloon Head Dead, No Redemption

By John Walker on January 13th, 2011.

Sad pinata donkey thing.

Well this sucks. Those stupid idiotholes at Zombie Cow turn out to hate everyone in the whole world and have shelved their Time, Gentle,men, Please, follow-up, Revenge of the Balloon-Headed Mexican. SADFACE. I hate them.

Boo – it seems they’re doing it for the very sensiblest reasons. Dan Marshall explains, “It felt like we were going over old, worn ground. Again and again. We’ve done all this. We’ve seen it all before. There’s nothing fresh or new and exciting about it.”

Harsh thoughts. RPS chatted with Zombie Cow and we have the details of what the game would have been below. Cue funereal music.

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Privates Not As Public As Hoped

By Alec Meer on September 17th, 2010.

That Zombie Cow’s naughty-but-nice sex-ed shooter Privates won’t be making an appearance on Xbox 360 thanks to Microsoft deeming its sexual content too sexy (even though it’s educational and even though there’s no actual sex and even though they’ll happily show any amount of extreme violence) isn’t RPSy news. I know this. I accept this.

However, it does reminds me, as I’m sure was the partial intention of ZC’s statement on the 360 cancellation today, that the free PC version’s had a whole heap of fixes and patches since launch day.

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Get Your Privates Patched

By John Walker on August 11th, 2010.

Penis penis penis vagina.

Zombie Cow have released a big old update to Privates. What I’m trying to say is, they looked at their Privates, and they realised they weren’t good enough. The primary problems with their Privates were their being covered in bugs, often finishing long before the person playing with them was ready, and not being able to perform with many potential partners.

What I’m doing here is I’m conflating “Privates”, the game about battling STIs in the human body, with “privates”, a colloquialism for human genitals. In doing so, I’ve given the impression that the game having bugs, crashing, and not being compatible with some systems, are in fact problems with the penises of those working at Zombie Cow. I did this with the intention of humour. It’s my way of letting you know the game’s been patched.

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Privates Out, Flapping About In The Breeze

By John Walker on August 6th, 2010.

If there's a pun, they thought of it.

Zombie Cow have finally unzipped their trousers, pulled them down to their ankles, then in a fit of pique ripped their underpants clean away from their waists to reveal their privates. And at the same time their game, Privates, is available to play, for free.

Privates, you see, is a sort of pun. Puns are when a word can be confused for another word. So “privates” can be associated with people in the army. An army is a collection of cross men and women who shout and fire guns at other collections of cross men and women. And of course “privates” can refer to a penis (like a sausage, but leakier) or a vagina (no idea). Imagine a game that conflates the two! It’s time to go shoot some STDs. (Sexily Transmitted Dirtiness.)

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Exclusive: Getting Intimate With Privates

By John Walker on May 17th, 2010.

See, he thought he was hurting me, but he was helping me!

Upon hearing the news of Zombie Cow’s pee-pee and hoo-hah themed game, Privates, we clearly wanted to know more. What are these “vaginas” and “penises” they’re talking about? So we got ourselves a chat with project lead Dan Marshall to find out the details on their STI-busting project. We exclusively reveal what the game’s about, how it will play, and what disgusting items lie in Zombie Cow’s search history.

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Front Bottoms: Zombie Cow’s Privates

By John Walker on May 11th, 2010.

Sperm!

Would you like to see Zombie Cow’s Privates? We sure would. We’d not only like to see them, but we’d like to play with them once we have. But no! We’re not talking about their penises! We’re talking about their new winky-themed game, Privates! (NB. We’re talking about their penises.)

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Our Boys On The News! BBC On Indies

By John Walker on February 25th, 2010.

This caption applies to every story I use it for.

Aw, I feel so proud. It’s like seeing your own children in the papers, but without their having had to stab someone to get there. For winning a really tough swimming race or something. Because today on the real actual Queen’s official BBC News is a story about Mr Cliff Harris and Mr Dan Marshall. That’s Cliffski and Dan Off Of Time Gentlemen Please to you and me. It’s a story about the “return of the bedroom coder”, focusing on Positech and Zombie Cow as examples of British independent developers, and explaining that they can be successful in the larger world of gaming. Cliffski and Dan! We know them! They’re on the news!

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Time Gentlemen, Please! Arrives On Steam

By John Walker on August 25th, 2009.

Just a quick one to say, one of our favourite games of the year is now up on Steam. Time Gentlemen, Please! can now be bought worldwide at £3, $5 and 4€ via Valve’s pipe. Zombie Cow have smartly bundled it with the first game in the series, Ben There, Dan That!, so you can play through both fantastic adventures super-easily. Read Alec’s review here if you’re still hesitating, and check the list of incredible reviews on their site if you think we’re just madfaces.

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Universal Exclusive: New Zombie Cow Game Details

By John Walker on August 18th, 2009.

Party time! Improvise balloons!

Anyone who has played Ben There, Dan That! and Time Gentlemen, Please! will know why to be excited to hear there’s to be more from the mad-walking heroes of time travelling point and click adventures. From an outside glance they’re 2D scratchy indie games made in the AGS engine, but then you need to sit up and take notice when you realise the second game, TGP, has a Metascore of 89 (five reviews listed, but many other 9/10s should be added). We officially liked it a lot. Why this very day Zombie Cow got in touch with us to let us know that after meetings and alcohol, they’ve decided to continue the series, this time episodically.

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