#2: Monster Omelette

In WoW terms, a Monster Omelette is simply an omelette made from a Giant Egg, so our plan is to cook the biggest omelette we can. Simple? Well, maybe not. We reckon that nobody wants to chew through four inches of egg, so we’re going to need to mix things up a bit. Somehow.

Two obvious choices present themselves for bulking up an omelette- either potato (making this recipe more akin to a Spanish tortilla) or bread. We go with bread.

We also go with a bunch of other ingredients that we figure will provide some subtle flavours without changing the fundamental omelettitude of the recipe. What we’ve got there is mushrooms, sausages, shallots, and, uh, gorgonzola. Not that gorgonzola is subtle at all, but omelettes with cheese are pretty good!

While I’m beating all 12 eggs the girl finds some cooked potato lying around, and since I’m never one to turn up my nose at found potato we put that in too.

What you can see here is the bread soaking in the egg prior to cooking. This is actually a neat way of using up any dead bread in your house for ordinary omelettes. You let it soak in the mix for a while, then cook it with everything else.

Finally the time came to get everything into the pan, cook it up, crumble the cheese over it, then pop it under the oven grill for three minutes. THE EGGY RESULT:

It doesn’t look too big there, but only because that’s the deepest and widest frying pan in the world (identified by scientists). What we’ve done here is create the omelette equivalent of Chicago Style Pizza. Or, as I like to call it, The Bachelor’s Pie.

Monster Omelette recipe:
Serves 4, approx £3 per person

12-16 Eggs, depending on whether your frying pan is massive or ungodly huge
4 Sausages
6 Shallots or 2 large Onions
3 Cloves of Garlic
10 Button Mushrooms
Some Kind of Bread
Some Kind of Cheese

1: Break all of your eggs into a large bowl, take a fork or whisk and beat them forever. Beat them like your worst enemy. Beat the crap out of them. Season with salt and pepper, and drop in the torn-up bread.
2: Dice your onions and garlic while warming a mix of olive oil and butter in a pan. Test to see if the oil’s hot enough by throwing in a single crumb of garlic. When the crumb starts to sizzle and hiss, throw in the rest of the onions and garlic and keep it cooking at that medium-high heat. After 10 minutes, remove from the pan.
3: Meanwhile, be cooking the sausages at a high heat. Fry ’em, grill ’em, whatever. When they’re done, chop them up. Also, chop up your mushrooms but DON’T cook them.
4: Take your big-ass frying pan and heat another mix of olive oil and butter in it. When it’s got pretty hot, pour in your egg and bread mix, add the cooked onions, garlic and sausages, the uncooked mushrooms, and mix it all up. Preheat the oven grill.
5: Now, try and leave your omelette the Hell alone. If you sit there poking it then it won’t develop a smooth surface.
6: After about 15 minutes it’ll be ready for grilling. Crumble whatever cheese you’re using over the (still slightly uncooked) top of your omelette, then throw the frying pan under the grill with the handle still sticking out into the kitchen.
7: When your omelette starts to develop a tasty-looking golden brown surface, whip the thing out. Congratulations on your recent huge omelette!