Compo: I Sold You And You Sold Me

You can tell RPS has arrived, because we’ve started to receive glorious tat from publishers. And, being spendthrift grasshoppers instead of tedious ants, we’re clearly going to give it away. What have we to give you? Well, Vivendi have lobbed us two (count ’em!) World in Conflict Cossack hats, which add a suitably soviet ambiance to whatever look you choose to rock. For example, here’s our model showing a Rasputin the Mad Games Journalist look, which is almost certain to be terribly popular this season.

Sexy. No, really, sexy.

So – what do you have to do to earn such a fine garment? Well, as you’ll be aware, the USSR was big on using the KGB to spy on its citizens. But they were REALLY big on grasses, turning on their friends for the offer of (oh, I don’t know) some lovely vodka or something. So that’s what we’re going to do – we want you to mail us one of your friend’s secrets which they entrusted to you – something that you know and the world doesn’t. The best secret wins. Clearly, the point of this game is for you to decide what’s the minimum safe secret you can break without revealing that Trev once had sex with his Mum or something, but – hey – go knock yourself out. Be warned, we may print them here, so your friend may know you’ve betrayed them for a hat. Secrets too libellous to be printed will almost certainly be disqualified. The best secret is, clearly, entirely subjective and for our judges to decide.

Send us your secrets here. Deadline is the 25th of September, so you’ll have to be Russian to get it us on time (Fired – Ed).


  1. Feet says:

    Oh God! Kieron has got a bloody beard.

  2. Alec Meer says:

    Actually, I’ve got a Kieron-with-a-beard mask.

  3. The_B says:

    Mustn’t…make…In Soviet Russia…quip…mnggh!

  4. Daniel Puzey says:

    Omg, he looks just like my dad :-\

  5. Alex says:

    Resisting…mother russia joke…as well!
    Nice beard man!

  6. Jon says:

    I really really really want that hat…

  7. MrB says:

    Hooray! Tat! Try and score some of those Fallout 3 t-shirts next!

  8. bluespacetiger says:

    Whats going on with Kieren’s pupils in that photo? They’re huge!

  9. martschian says:

    Ah, that’s why I couldn’t find Gillen at Caption. (Or that I was there the wrong day.)

  10. Rock, Paper, Shotgun - the PC gaming site says:

    […] martschian: Ah, that’s why I couldn’t find Gillen at Caption. (Or that I was there the wrong day.) […]

  11. Sören Höglund says:

    “Resisting…mother russia joke…as well!”

    Yeah, better to stay away form those, it’d mean entering a veritable floodland.

    *crickets chirping*

  12. Alec Meer says:

    Hey folks,
    if you’re thinking of lobbing your name into the hat for this compo, can you resist the urge to change the subject line you get when you click on the link to enter, please? We’re trying to filter the entries off from other mail, you see.
    Thankee squires.

  13. Marcos Castrillón says:



    Who do I have to kill to get one of those. Oh and, nice beard, chap! I see you’re totally deep into your comic-book writer persona.

  14. Kieron Gillen says:

    If you send in a secret, Marcos, you can’t say one about me. GET IT?


  15. John Walker says:

    Just to be clear, you can ABSOLUTELY send in secrets about Gillen. And you’ll have a far better chance of winning if you do.

  16. Rock, Paper, Shotgun - the PC gaming site says:

    […] The hats weren’t actually the first RPS-mail. I returned from my trip to Relic and Gas Powered Games to find a parcel addressed to Rock Paper Shotgun from Koch Media. Inside it was a copy of Obscure II, which I thought appropriate as I’d never heard of it. The developers had fell for that basic mistake of giving the game a name which can easily be turned into a joke for a bitchy review but – no – really, I hadn’t heard of it. That fearlessness deserves some kind of respect. Also, I chatted to Walker, who had played and actually 79%-liked the original, saying it “rewards innovation over frenzy, and it seems only fair to do the same in return” (Or at least that’s what professional parasites Metacritic claim, anyway, as John couldn’t really remember anything other than he’d played it). Like its prequel, Obscure II a Survival Horror game but rather than feeding the Romero/Tartan-Extreme-Import duopoly, takes the American teen horror film as its basis. Oh – and it’s got co-op too. I decided I’d better play it. […]

  17. Marcos Castrillón says:

    Bah! I’ll have to take it from your cold, dead hands then.

    Choose your weapon, Bath-Man.

  18. Rock, Paper, Shotgun » Blog Archive » Do We Look Fat In This? says:

    […] forget, there’s still time to enter our epic Win A Hat Compo, where you could be the proud owner of a furry World In Conflict Cossack hat. We’ve had some […]

  19. Rock, Paper, Shotgun » Blog Archive » Where Did You Get That Hat? FROM US. says:

    […] may remember last week we ran a competition to win this World in Conflict-o-garment. All your had to do was to reveal to us a secret which was […]

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