As you know, RPS is the definitive site to turn to for PC gaming news, previews, reviews, interviews, panoramic views, plaintive mews, church pews and naked nudes. Here’s the coming week’s releases that we very likely haven’t played, with descriptions that I just made up:
The harrowing tale of one galaxy’s brutal attack by a gang of rogue planetary systems. You play universal therapist, Simon Constellation, striving to offer recovery and support for the vast victim, as the galaxy goes through all the stages of post-traumatic stress disorder.
The Orange Box
Following on from the success of The Green Triangle, Valve release the much anticipated add-on pack to their best-selling virtual version of that toy babies have where they have to push the shapes through the right shaped holes. With The Orange Box, we have hopes for improvements in the difficulty, which was perhaps a little too simple when there were only triangles and triangle holes.
Tired of Excel? Open Office getting you down? Try this latest installment of the popular spreadsheet skin to make your tedious office work look like the tedious behind-the-scenes management of a foot-to-ball team. With all the different teams’ jersies recreated in vivid 16 colours, and enough buttons and menus to make a child cry and ask for a real game, we’ve no doubt this is the best Football Manager game since the last one. It’s the goal!
While both Theme Park World and Rollercoaster Tycoon both explored the possibilities for creating safe and entertaining rollercoasters, Thrillville finally offers us a management sim that follows up on the consequences of a terrible, deadly coaster disaster. Each stage begins with a violent theme park tragedy, leaving you responsible for deploying the clean-up crew to collect the limbs and mop up the juices, hire and manage lawyers who will attempt to deny liability on the part of your business, and create and run your own advertising campaign to try and bring people back into your poorly maintained deathtrap.
Lie as still as you can! One twitch of the mouse, and you could derail that poor old train.