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Strafe Left: The Formative Years #6

Every time I encounter a chainsaw in an FPS, the pedantic ex-forestry worker part of me sighs. Toothy STIHLs and Husqvarnas might be great for chewing through trees, but in a fight you’d really be far better off with an old-fashioned pig sticker or iron bar. Something wieldy and long. Something that didn’t blunt the instant it touched metal, or clog when plunged through anything more fibrous than an Aran sweater.

And don’t get me started on the Doom specimen. That black plastic thing between your knuckles and the business end? That’s a safety device designed to stop the chain dead the second the saw bucks or kicks. Any self-respecting chainsaw warrior would have whipped that off straight away.

None of which relates to the above cartoon which appeared in PC Gamer UK around Christmas 2003.

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Tim Stone


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