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Viacom Om Nom Nom

Quick! Throw the hot coffee!

Could Viacom be about to buy Take Two?

Why not? They already own MTV, Nickelodeon, Paramount, Dreamworks, most of the radio in America, Comedy Central, your mum and dad, and 57% of the planet’s oxygen. The question is, when they eventually own everything ever, will it have any meaning any more, or will we be back to the beginning again?

According to MCV, rumours are “building” that they might be about to launch one of those takeover bids, that frankly frighten me. You can just buy things that weren’t expecting it? Eek! What if someone tries to buy me?

“MCV understands that Viacom has made an offer of £23 a share for the games company behind blockbusters such as Grand Theft Auto and Bioshock. Last night Take Two shares were trading at just under $16, but mid-term ratings have been increasing for the stock since it was confirmed that GTA IV would be released at the end of April.”

The two companies are already linked, with Take Two having made games for Viacom’s gaming division, and games of swapsies with their management staff. So why not?

In light of the news of Microsoft trying to gobble up Yahoo!, Rock, Paper, Shotgun would like to officially announce its plans for a hostile takeover of a baked potato with cheese and tuna, in a deal which industry insiders are describing as, “dinner”. The resulting company is proposing to offer shareholders a full tummy, and probably a cup of coffee.

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John Walker


Once one of the original co-founders of Rock Paper Shotgun, they killed me out of jealousy. I now run

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