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So... Assassin's Creed PC?

No assassins round 'ere, we're just... men with knives and an intent to kill

Assassin’s Creed for PC has been dated and redated and is now scheduled to arrive on our beloved Chaos Boxes on 28th March. Is that right? Oh it’s April 8th in the US for some reason. Oh and it’s already out and number one on Bitorrent, except that’s a broken pre-release version that won’t load half the game, so you might want to wait until it gets pirated properly comes out in the shops before you start playing.

Anyway, the PC version is also going to have new stuff! You’re actually going to have more tasks to do before those assassinations can happen, young man. No shirking on the pre-kill investigations. And no shirking on the system specs: Assassin’s Creed needs a monster PC. Beyond the jump: everything is permitted.

The new activities in Assassin’s Creed PC bring the total ways in which to investigate and set up a mark for death to nine, and they include: a Rooftop Race Challenge, wherein we race across rooftops from one evil informer to the next against the clock (or hourglass?); Archer Assassination, in which you unhelp arrow shooters unto their deaths without being apprehended by their battle-chums; Merchant Stand Destruction Challenge, which is pretty self explanatory, and involved breaking stuff; and Escort Challenge, in which you race a clapped-out 1993 Ford Escort around Peggingham Estate without running out of cigarettes or inadvertently killing someone you are distantly related to. (I jest, it’s actually a Ford Fiesta.)

As for specs, well it’s looking like (and I mean looking like from what I’ve read about the place, as it doesn’t seem to be confirmed) multicore as a minimum spec, with 2gb recommended RAM, and a DirectX 10 card if you can manage it. This is one of those games that will actually run “significantly faster” on DirectX 10 thanks to having been optimised for it, and all that magic stuff.

For the record, I actually thought Assassin’s Creed was an excellent game on PS3 and 360. I really enjoyed the city sequences, and felt like the running away and the fighting were genuinely comprehensible and enjoyable. What caused me to tear our my own soul and hurl it into the abyss was the staggeringly painful opening hour of meaningless motivation-free cutscenes and the inexplicable science-butchering backstory upon which the entire game was based. There’s an intermission scene where you’re pulled out of the game itself to… go to bed. Oh my. What the fuck was going on with that kind of obfuscation-of-just-playing-the-damned-game I will never know. But otherwise, top fun, and I look forward to see it on PC.

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Jim Rossignol

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