Crysis Winners

He's not a winner.
The winners of our excellent Crysis competition are David McLaughlin, James Glover and Si Wharton. No, we’re not going to print their crises because they’re of rather variable length and family quality, and we may need them as… evidence. Thanks, however, to everyone who entered. And thanks to EA for providing the booty. Fresh competitions coming up soon.


  1. Tunips says:

    The image that heads this post is a terrified man getting strangled by a super-soldier. I hardly think we need to worry about family friendlyness. And, as PC gamers, we are well attuned to pages and pages of questionable narrative.
    So go on, print the the crises

  2. Alex says:

    This is a bit weird. Go on, put them up!

  3. Jim Rossignol says:

    Families love super-soldier enstranglement!

  4. Seniath says:

    Oh! Cool! First time I’ve won something in aaaaages.

    If you’re not going to print them, any objections to me posting my entry on my blog?

  5. Jonas says:

    This is an outrage! I demand disclosure!

  6. Jim Rossignol says:

    @Seniath, feel free.

  7. Alex says:

    Can we then become OUTRAGED at the entry’s aberrant filthy filthy FILTHY filthiness?

  8. Always A Crisis On Planet Earth « Seniath’s Blog says:

    […] the Rock, Paper, Shotgun Crysis competition. And whaddya know, I was picked as one of the three winners! A nice surprise for me, since I’m rather self-critical about my own […]

  9. Seniath says:

    ^^ I totally didn’t mean to do that =/

  10. UsuallyDavid says:

    Hurrah! This is the third thing I’ve ever won, the others being a Postman Pat colouring-in book and a copy of the Screaming Masterpiece soundtrack. I can finally ask people what Postman Pat, Bjork and a super-suited killing machine have in common.

    Many thanks to ye, RPS collective.

  11. James G says:

    Big grins here, first time I’ve won anything outside of village raffles (A kilo of Dairy Milk chocolate and a set of dominos). It actually prompted me to give a little happy dance, much to the amusement of my colleagues.

  12. Alex says:

    You’re all dirty, DIRTY boys..


    Well done. ;)

    ^^ I totally didn’t mean to do that =/

    I’m always wondering about those posts – are they automatically generated, or something, when someone links from their blog to an RPS entry?

  13. Jim Rossignol says:

    Those posts shouldn’t happen, according to our experts.

  14. Seniath says:

    Whoops, did I break the internet?

  15. Alex says:

    You broke their experts.

  16. MedO says:

    It’s just another sign that the internet is slowly becoming sentient.

  17. AbyssUK says:

    Wow my entry wasen’t just poor it (from reading Seniaths) was very very short also.

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  19. james glover says:

    […] my sentiment. The scientific evidence considered by the Senate Report at the time was as we say …Crysis Winners | Rock, Paper, ShotgunThe winners of our excellent Crysis competition are David McLaughlin, James Glover and Si Wharton. […]