Stalin Vs. Martians

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich when bloody Martians invaded
Stalin vs. Martians has been announced.

What more can you say?


  1. Jives says:

    What can you say?

    best game ever.

    That is of course if its just Stalin, on his lonesome, beating up aliens.

    If Stalin has an army it wont be as good

  2. Fat Zombie says:

    Yes? Yes.


  3. Chris R says:

    I was skeptical of the whole game until I saw this on their website… they’re talking about the powerups that are available:

    – Armor upgrade. The lifebar of your unit will be enlarged like that penis in the spam letters you receive.
    – Attack power improvement. You can kill the bastards more easily.
    – Speed up. Your units will move faster. Upgraded infantry can even run with a speed of a tank. Or a member of Kenya Olimpic team.
    – Meds. The pills make you feel better, even if you are, err, a howitzer. Heals your HP.”

    I’m sold.

  4. twb says:

    But, Comrade Programmer! Do you not know that historical materialism dictates that any sufficiently advanced alien race must be Communist? Obviously, these aliens are a decadent Western plot, invaders from a primitive feudalist dimension yearning for the freedom of Communistic rule — or the result of hallucinatory drugs injected by rootless cosmopolitan doctors!

  5. Nuyan says:

    Can’t wait.

  6. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Vopros: Can we play as Stalin himself?
    Otvet: Yes, but not from the start. Stalin is our commander and he gives us orders. Closer to the grand finale he will appear on the battlefield as a playable unit – a huge colossus, five times higher than any other creature. Just like it was in the real life.


  7. Benjamin Barker says:

    @twb: Sounds like you’ve read this 1908 Bolshevik novel describing a communist Utopia on Mars.

  8. Valentin Galea says:

    The website itself is enough to get you hooked on this!

  9. Garreett says:

    That’s got my sale!

  10. Chris Evans says:

    In Stalinist Russia…okay I won’t go there!

    I love this game already :D

  11. Will Tomas says:

    I suspect that Kieron might be right in more ways than one with that “videogames answer to Snakes on a Plane?” thing. The idea’s kitch and fun but I’m not sold that it’ll be any fun to play. Much like Snakes on a Plane wasn’t much fun to watch.

  12. dartt says:

    Your use of tags as content is semantically intolerable!

  13. Kieron Gillen says:



  14. The Shed says:

    Have to agree entirely with the first two posters.


    Also, what a surpiringly functional website.

    EDIT: HOLY SHIT agreement entirely with the Man Raised By Puffins also. I am SO getting my hands on a colossal Stalin. Irl.

  15. Dinger says:

    What is this, some kind of May Day fools joke?

    Le soleil brillera toujours!
    I can’t even recall my name!

  16. Raff says:

    Looks excellent. I couldn’t find any ETA on that site though.

  17. MeestaNob! says:

    If there was a ‘subscribe to article’ button on RPS, I would have clicked it here.

    If SvsM turns out to be shit, I’ll be very upset.

  18. Down Rodeo says:

    The fact that they thought of this implies their true genius. “Wow” is about all you can say to that.

  19. Cooper says:

    If this game delivers on its promises. It may just be one of those ‘this reminds me why I love and play games so much’ games.

  20. James says:

    Wait, Snakes on a Plane wasn’t fun to watch?

  21. sinister agent says:

    Good luck to them. It sounds like exactly what gaming needs – originality, humour, and developers who have no qualms about telling tedious people to sod off. Let’s just hope they come through with a fun game.

  22. akbar says:

    This looks… how you say… “all kinds of awesome?” The fact that the main page of the website is the “Ideology” section. And this quote:

    “Stalin is anything but boring and it looks pretty like schoolgirl with a kitten. Can you ask for more?”

    “Pretty like schoolgirl with a kitten” is now my official motto.

  23. Jochen Scheisse says:

    The videogame answer to snakes on a plane is Fifty Cent and the Crystal Skull or however that crap be named. War against the Martians was a historical inevitability.

  24. KBKarma says:

    Commies? Friend Computer would like to take this opportunity to remind you that Commies are the enemies of Alpha Complex and should be terminated on sight.

    … I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to use a Paranoia line for ages.

    This looks fun. REALLY fun.

  25. Jonathan says:

    Would we be as optimistic if it was Hitler vs Martians?

    Personally I’m waiting for Atilla Vs Mao Vs Vlad Vs Malaria Vs the dinosaurs. Because dinosaurs are mankind’s greatest threat.

  26. Valhoss says:

    “Vopros: I can see that some of the martian units resemble the characters from other games.
    Otvet: It is no coincidence. Well, most of the time. Stalin vs. Martians is not only a kitsch (check Wikipedia for this word if you’re from Iowa), but also a parody. Sort of.”


  27. Nick says:

    “Wait, Snakes on a Plane wasn’t fun to watch?”

    I enjoyed it.

    I really hope this is good, because the concept makes me smile as does their website.

  28. Elyscape says:

    This is the most amazing thing ever. I MUST HAVE IT.

  29. Malibu Stacey says:

    I fully endorse this product and/or service.

    Would we be as optimistic if it was Hitler vs Martians?

    That’d be stepping on the IP of a fair few people. Harry Turtledove’s novels are the main one which spring to mind but I’m sure there are others.

  30. Toyoch says:

    Got my sale for MontyPythonesque Humor(refer to the FAQ).

    This is going to be the BEST RTS EVER.

  31. Chris Evans says:

    As I did mention somewhere, more information thanks to the Producer of Stalin vs Martians can be read here.

  32. vash47 says:


  33. larrymayson says:

    Really awesome. Saw it on some google ads