Latest Foot-To-Ball Visualisation

The activity known as Foot-to-ball has once again received an updated videogame incarnation in the form of he mysteriously abbreviated UEFA Euro 2008. We’ve discovered vital footage of this weirdly ritualised activity, and we’ve posted it after the jump in an attempt to understand it.

See how the tiny ball commands the players to move it from one end of the field to the other. Some kind of abstract RTS?

Readers, are you in the thrall of the foot-to-ball?


  1. cqdemal says:

    I’ve been trying to avoid the ‘last-gen’ incarnation of EA footie games. Seeing the screenshots make my blood boil.

    They’ve finally got something right AFAIK on the 360/PS3 and just left it there. There’s always PES, I guess.

  2. Feet says:

    Nerf Spain tbh.

    Some of that defending was woeful. /Hanson

    I assume that was played on the exceptionally easy setting, atleast I hope it was.

  3. Tim says:

    It looks pretty and all, but 0-8 is just silly. I liked how the Portugal defenders jogged after torres in formation then looked defeated in unison.

    PES FTW.

  4. Pidesco says:

    That video looked pretty awful, actually. PES for the win.

  5. DuBBle says:

    I liked your use of words for the purpose of mirth, Jim. I grinned and endlessly beared myself to passing pensioners.

  6. The Shed says:

    PEF is the ultimate iteration of this popular sport game.

    That’s right. Pro Evolution Foot-to-ball.

  7. Cargo Cult says:

    For me, watching a foot-to-ball game is somewhat akin to an atheist observing a religious service – I can see what the participants are doing, but I haven’t the foggiest clue why they’re doing it. Or why it’s so terribly important that they follow all the utterly arbitrary rules and traditions.


  8. Ian says:

    “Or why it’s so terribly important that they follow all the utterly arbitrary rules and traditions.”

    This, from a gamer? ;)

  9. Matt says:

    Is this a trailer for the game or for “FERNANDO TORRES”?

  10. no says:

    That photo isn’t of a football game. That’s soccer.

  11. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    “They really are beginning to get away now…” at 6-0. I think the commentator cues may need a tweak.

    @ no: This being a Brit-centric blog, I think it’s fair to say that when the term foot-to-ball is used it’s in reference to association foot-to-ball.

  12. Jochen Scheisse says:

    Ah right, because the name belongs to a game where foot and ball interact around 0,5% of the time.

  13. Ian says:

    “That photo isn’t of a football game. That’s soccer.”

    It’s actually both.

  14. Anthony Damiani says:

    ““That photo isn’t of a football game. That’s soccer.”

    It’s actually both.”

    Exciting, how they’ve managed to liven up soccer with some of the conventions of football– but, really, shouldn’t Madden be on the cover?

  15. John P says:

    the yanks are invading the thread with their hand-to-ball! Run for the hills! ;)

    Actually, I quite like watching American Football. It has women jumping around for no reason and they wear ridiculous armour. Inherently entertaining in a way that normal football isn’t, in that regard.

  16. Kommissar Nicko says:

    Sometimes we Yanks must endeavour to wear our armour, but tend to manoeuvre to protect labour, and the trappings of civilisation.

  17. Jochen Scheisse says:

    Are you still talking about ball-to-armpit?

  18. Ian says:

    The irony (or brilliance?) of American Football padding is that it protects the guy making the hit, not the guy taking it who usually ends up with some monster crushing his head/gut/groin/flailing limb. :D

  19. Jochen Scheisse says:

    Yes yes, I prefer blood bowl.

  20. Steve says:

    Surely you mean Blood-to-Bowl?

  21. Ginger Yellow says:

    Pro Evo on Wii has made every other football game more or less redundant. Sure they can do some things better, whether it’s commentary or graphics or even game-critical things like defending, but once you’ve set up a glorious goal using Andy Gray mode you’ll never be satisfied with conventional footy games again.

  22. James T says:

    We say ‘soccer’ in Australia too, because rugby gets to be ‘football’.


  23. Ian says:

    @Ginger Yellow: While I wouldn’t go so far as to say it makes the other games redundant, there’s little doubt that once you’ve got past the this-is-utterly-wrong stage of learning the controls, the flexibility offered by the attacking system is better than anything Pro Evo or Fifa have ever managed. I’ve scored far more DIFFERENT kinds of goals with Pro Evo Wii than I did in other games where it became easier to just pump it down the wings and smack it into the box.

  24. Myros says:

    American Football …. you mean American Rugby of course.
    Except with wimpy pads, wouldnt want to get hurt. And lets only play 14 games a year, wouldnt want to get tired.



  25. Ian says:

    16 games, minimum. Taking the piss is fair enough but at least get it right. ;)

  26. Marcos Castrillon says:

    While I apreciate the drubbing of the lesser Iberians, and I hope it becomes real this Summer, all this video managed was to remind me why I stopped playing footie games not named Football Manager.

  27. Pod says:

    I like how it commands you to CELEBRATE after scoring.

    Also, the camera is very jarring. Every change of direction causes the camera to “stutter” around. SWOS never had camera stutter, oh no….

  28. sinister agent says:

    I like how it commands you to CELEBRATE after scoring.

    That quickly becomes very irritating, because it does it with every goal. I’m already celebrating, thanks, by roaring and hurling cushions at my flatmates. Why would I want to celebrate by proxy?

    They have made it look rather good there. Presumably they cut out the other two hours of footage where the players spazzed the ball in random directions if they bothered to do anything at all, while the AI teammates sat around scratching and burping as the ball rolled over their feet and everyone short of the referee ran into the box.

    There really needs to be a football game that’s fun to play even if you don’t just get so excited about ‘be’ing Thierry Henry or whoever that nothing else matters. Pro Wiivo is the closest thing to a decent original football game for years.

  29. caesarbear says:

    Wow that looks horrible. Every play is just – run straight at goal, and it works. Where’s my Wii style Pro Evo on PC damnit?

  30. McCool says:

    to James T:

  31. Winterborn says:

    @James T

    Rugby gets to be football in NSW and QLD, the majority of Australians call Rugby: Rugby(or ‘the bum-sniffers’). Football is Australian Rules. Still, soccer is right.