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Al Qaeda's Vision Of Devastated Journalism

OMG RUN!

Nevada is laid to waste. The desert is a blackened, smoking ruin. Vegas has been razed. Countless thousands are dead.

This is the apocalyptic scene terrorists hope to create if they ever get their hands on a nuclear bomb. The computer generated image below was posted on an Islamic extremists’ Bebo page yesterday.

It appeared as rumours spread the Internet that the FBI, CIA and MFI were warning that an Al Qaeda video was about to be released urging militants to use weapons of mass destruction to attack the West. The information was said to be coming from ‘groups that pay very little attention to which website they’re reading’.

The FBI was quick to point out that it had not issued any warning, that the video was not an official Al Qaeda release, and that there is no truth to this story on any level. Importantly, we are printing it despite this and stating that it is real, in order to sell newspapers.

U.S analysts we made up said a lot of effort has been put into the video we haven’t seen and don’t link to. The same expertise seems to have gone into creating this image of a devastated Nevada.

Last night FBI sources we like to think we have contact details for said Al Qaeda was desperate to get its hands on Fallout 3, and couldn’t wait for Autumn.

So far that is only a dream… or, as this picture suggests, a demonstration of how contemptuously useless we are at reporting news, caring only about scaremongering and making up any rubbish we like rather than doing even the most elementary research.

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John Walker

Senior Editor

One of the original co-founders of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, I'm now a senior editor and hero of humanity. Old and special.

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