We Knew It Was Coming

An auto-propulsive phallus, yesterday.

PCG’s Tim Edwards takes the prize for being the first guy to make a cock into a character when he went hands on with Spore. Come September, inevitably, millions of others will swiftly join Tim’s little fella – making this a release date at least one other way. Being mentally four, I’ll probably make one too. For those who are about to cock: we salute you.


  1. Ben Abraham says:

    This was naught meant to live!

  2. Meat Circus says:

    What a coincidence.

    My mind has a cock of its own.

  3. CrashT says:


  4. Schmung says:

    Bonus points for the ersatz pubes in the form of those disquieting purple tentacles.

  5. Acosta says:

    We are soooo predictable. Well, we have been talking about this since we knew how versatile would be the the Spore creature editor, so I’m glad we can awe of our fertile global imagination and pass to more interesting things of the game.

  6. Meat Circus says:

    When the time comes, I’m fairly certain that my space-cock will have depth perception.

  7. Schmung says:

    I want to see if I can make mine waddle along penguin like on its balls.

  8. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    The love hearts and the fact that it’s called ‘The Freudian Nightmare’ (in the mag) really set it off.

    I’m still awaiting the first Vageyena man.

  9. Chris_24 says:

    :) I love it when I actually get references.
    People making cocks makes me smile aswell.

  10. Andy says:

    its just a geoduck

  11. Rook says:

    You should probably update the Come September bit as the creature creator is being released in June, so we’ll be well versed in the art of cock making by then.

  12. The_B says:

    I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere about the “Come September” bit Rook, but I’m too high brow to make it…

  13. Pod says:

    I heard about this in the PCG podcast. I really, really didn’t want to actually see it. It’s even freakier than I thought. So thanks, Kieron, thanks.

  14. Joe says:

    Your cocks have legs and eyeballs?

    I worry for RPS sometimes.

  15. K says:

    The eye’s in the wrong position.

  16. John Walker says:

    This explains Tim’s IM the other night where he offered to show me his penis. That’s something of a relief.

  17. houseinrlyeh says:

    So, where’s the “I saw Tim Edward’s penis” t-shirt?

  18. KindredPhantom says:

    lol John.
    Tell Tim to stop pissing about.

  19. Yhancik says:

    I actually find it cute, is that bad ?

  20. Verdugo says:

    What the hell XD

    I wonder how big it can get…

  21. darkripper says:

    Making a cock with the editor will be the “hello, world” of everyone’s experience with Spore.

  22. Gap Gen says:

    Like I said on CVG, this looks a lot like the creature from Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace

  23. melodious_frog says:

    Being mentally four
    I think 15 is the age you are aiming for.

    The four year olds I know like to ride bikes and look at bugs.

  24. Mr. Brand says:

    Male genitalia isn’t the first thing I’m going to design..it will fit nicely together with the actual first design, though.

  25. Will says:

    This kind of freedom could come with some unfortunate consequences.

    “Select your pistol, then, select your cock.”

  26. Rubes says:

    Well I, for one, welcome our new cockish overlords.

  27. AbyssUK says:

    Just wait till the daily mail get a hold of this…

  28. Rogue says:

    The abuse of Tim Edwards in the epic Alien Swarm blog post is now fully justified!

  29. Subject 706 says:

    How long until Jack Thompson sees this and goes loco?

  30. Hypocee says:

    *Goes* loco?

  31. cyrenic says:

    @Subject 706

    10 years.

  32. The Shed says:

    The fact that it was Edwards just made me laugh even more. The guy gets around.

  33. mootzilla says:

    User generated content truly is the wave of the future.

  34. Kieron Gillen says:

    You know, it may be just because it’s late, but “User Generated Content” suddenly sounds like a euphemism for semen.


  35. RichPowers says:


    I wonder what Freud would analyze your interactions with the cock species. Make war on the cocks? Enslave the cocks? Ally with the cocks?

    Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And sometimes a juvenile cock-inspired creature is just a juvenile cock-inspired creature.

  36. Eric says:

    For what it’s worth, I made a Sporecock about a month ago. It even had a tiny little dangly scrotum with eyes! Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) due to the NDA I didn’t get to share my cock with the world.

  37. Andrew Doull says:

    Heh. Knew it was coming…

    You find scroll of genocide titled “Pol Pot”

    Sadly since then, Angband went all PC on us…