I’m Not A Crazed Gunman, Dad – I’m An Assassin

Meet the Sniper!

Let’s not talk about the accent, okay? Let’s just talk about the fact it’s very, very funny, and does an impeccable job of making one of the classes we so love to hate (CAMPING BASTARDS) endearingly human. Even the most cold-blooded of killers has daddy issues.

Update, after a dozen happy watches of the thing. Things to look out for:
– Keep an eye on the lower left of the screen during the coffee scene
– Does the bobblehead hint that we’ll be seeing the VIP-escorting Hunted map from TFC return? Ooh…
– Is that a new gun the Pyro’s carrying? – See below.

The Mysterious New Pyro Weapon:

What's this?

It seems new.

Pyro update perchance?

Close up.

105 Comments

  1. Saflo says:

    Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes.

  2. AciD says:

    Yay! Its real!

  3. RichPowers says:

    ahahahah AMAZING. Please, please make a Team Fortress 2 sitcom or movie already!

    (I love the bobble head of the VIP from Team Fortress Classic’s “Hunted” map.)

    PS: Are those jars of urine at the bottom of the title screen? Emphasizing the “camper” element?

  4. Stuk says:

    Ha! Back on top form. I <3 Valve

  5. Razor says:

    Beautiful =)

  6. Premium User Badge

    John Walker says:

    RichPowers, you will make Mr Erik Wolpaw very happy. It’s the joke he was worried wouldn’t get seen.

  7. Jive says:

    Best one yet.

  8. Mechtroid says:

    Anyone notice the gun the pyro’s carrying? Nothing I’ve ever seen before…
    :D

    Maybe a flare gun?

  9. PaulMorel says:

    I liked the jars of pee. lol.

  10. Saflo says:

    Look at the way he says “standards” out the side of his mouth. The facial animation in these is really incredible.

    Anyone notice the pyro carrying a new weapon?

    Edit: Too slow!

  11. Rob says:

    I concur with those saying that this is the best yet, superlative work.

  12. Theory says:

    Pyro’s thing looks kind of like a fire extinguisher funnel.

    Edit: yes, yes, it’s a flaregun!

  13. Corion says:

    Tell me we get all of those wonderful models to use as props! I’d love to put jars of urine in my maps to signify prime sniping positions.

  14. The Hammer says:

    That is absolutely brilliant. Best one yet by far.

    I especially love the faux hand-cam footage up on the tower! :D

  15. Mechtroid says:

    @Corion: I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that thought that.

    Also, for anyone that wants a close up of the new weapon… link to cubeupload.com

  16. Stuk says:

    By God Mechtroid, you’re right! link to thejunkyard.co.uk

    It looks like it fires….BUBBLES!

  17. Leeks! says:

    “Professionals don’t have feelings, they have standards.” Wonderful.

    Also, I felt like the ‘jars of pee’ gag was well executed. It lingered on that static frame for just long enough with only two elements changing every half second or so. I probably wouldn’t have caught it if the shot was a few seconds shorter, but as it is, it was perfect.

  18. a-scale says:

    It appears that the pyro is carrtying some sort of flame launching blunderbuss. Also, I will admit to missing the jars of urine (yoo-rine for the aussies) the first time through, but caught them on the second pass. I don’t think I found this one as funny as other people did, but I still love it dearly.

    Edit: definitely not a blunderbus. It’s a flare gun or a flammable liquid gun, which appears to have an ignitable rocket on top.

  19. Saflo says:

    How long until “#1 SNIPER” mugs show up in the Valve store?

  20. Mechtroid says:

    I’d buy that.

  21. Kast says:

    Yes, yes! Probably the best one yet – you can see they’re getting more and more complex as time goes on.

    Haven’t laughed this much since… well, since Meet the Scout really.

  22. Ubernutz says:

    Oh my god the rumors are true.

    Michael Caine did have a one night stand with Dame Edna Everage!

  23. Thingus says:

    Had a bit of confusion with the title, until I saw the movie :P
    I personally know of very few crazed gunman dads.

  24. SuperNashwan says:

    Pfff, it’s clearly some sort of airhorn, pyros sneak up on people (“l2p noob, it’s an ambush class”) and sound it making them JUMP (“pyros aren’t meant to kill, they’re for confusion and delay”) and then run away giggling. Valve finally give people the pyro the nothing-wrong-with-being-gibbed-every-damn-time-by-soldiers apologists have wanted.

  25. Cargo Cult says:

    Just realised – it’s the neck of the broken bottle which gets stuck in the Demo’s eye-socket.

    Eww!

  26. Noc says:

    Enhance!
    Enhance!
    Enhance!

  27. Alex says:

    Easily my favourite one of these yet, and almost enitrely not because I tend to play as a sniper. Brilliant stuff.

  28. cyrenic says:

    According to shacknews we’ll get the details on the pyro weapons and achievements tomorrow: link to shacknews.com

    Also, those jars of “questionable” content should be one of the sniper unlockable weapons :D. Blinding grenade or something. Gross but effective!

  29. Naurgul says:

    What’s the third quality good professionals have? The ability to kill everyone they meet or miss? Also, in the end, does he say “Dad? Dad!? Argh, put mum on the phone” or something else?

  30. BaconIsGood4You says:

    God the music is so nice. Me wants.

  31. CrashT says:

    Naurgul, that’s indeed what he says.

  32. Sam says:

    Considering my rapid hatred of snipers in game, it’s a mark of Valve’s growing expertise at these animations that I actually ended up quite liking him. Plus, new music!

  33. Seniath says:

    Awesome, excellent and awesome again. Roll on the Pyro news, not to mention her ‘Meet the’ video!

  34. Fumarole says:

    The transcript is here: link to tf2wiki.net

  35. Fat Zombie says:

    Fantastic. Utterly hilarious and well-shot. *BADUM-TISH*

  36. Jaik says:

    Catch the caution sign in the first frames of the video? It’s not for falling rocks or deer…

  37. Naurgul says:

    Thanks, Fumarole. So, it’s certain that he says “meet”, neither “miss” nor “need”? Anyway, the sniper video was really nicely done. I think it’s my favourite so far.

  38. phuzz says:

    @Jaik
    nice spot mate, that’s priceless :)

    ps, thanks GameTrailers, we wouldn’t shoot you through the head.

  39. Jonathan says:

    The most well drawn character so far, an optimistic, long distance caravan driving hitman seeking the approval of his parents. Who doesn’t mind weeing in a jar.

    Also for unlocks what about theme tunes for the characters, imagine the sniper music playing as it zooms in for the death cam. Or a special pyro theme when you’re set on fire by someone with that unlocked.

  40. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Nice, found it gently amusing until I watching it a second time and noticed the slowly accumulating jars of urine at which point I had a nice guffaw.

    Also, ta for the Pyro freeze-frames. I thought his weapon looked a bit odd but couldn’t be bothered to check for myself.

    @ Johnathon: It seems to me he drives a camper van. Also that billboard in the background for the final shot reads “FOAD camping fun all year round”.

  41. RC-1290'Dreadnought' says:

    Suck health after burning him weapon?
    Anyone?

  42. CannedLizard says:

    Maybe a flare gun which works like the Pyro’s rocket launcher from TFC? Seems a bit…boring, by Valve’s TF2 standards, however.

  43. The Hammer says:

    Suck health after burning him weapon?
    Anyone?

    Unless I misunderstand you, that’s the axe.

  44. Nimic says:

    Brilliant.

  45. Professor Pyro, Ph.D. says:

    @Hammer: No, the axe causes a crit when the target is on fire. What he meant was probably to use up a person’s being on fire in order to get a small heal.
    @CannedLizard: I really hope not, that’s really unimaginative.

  46. Deuteronomy says:

    If only the actual game were as good.

  47. Calabi says:

    That was awesome.

  48. Sniper Enthusiast says:

    The video is great, but the voice wasn’t the same from the game: it was a voice of one (all of them) of the citizen in city 17 from hl2 and it made me ears hurt. Except this it was awesome. Loved the setting, the impaled spy and the blinded demoman. Very cool.

  49. Majorb says:

    Video is very funny. As for the weapon, I’m going to say flare launcher that sets people on fire. Basically an incindiary grenade launcher. I’m probably totally wrong about this but there’s my two cents.

  50. Razor says:

    I hope they add the new music to the game.