NSFW: A Beginners Guide To Sporn

Yeah, your mum is real proud right now.
You give humanity a creative tool, the first thing a human will do is – well – make a tool with it. Since the Spore demo’s release, it’s become a bukkake wave sweeping the web: comedy pornographic images via Spore. Spornography – aka “Sporn”. Has it reached a climax yet? We don’t know, but we think it’s as good a time as any to stop and survey the lie of the land. And, yes, it’s sticky.

Beneath the cut you’ll find gathered a large selection of the phalluses, the pseudo-sex-acts and general disturbing animated parts of the gamers’ subconcious. For God’s sake, don’t click it at work.

Right – we’re dividing these into loose categories. There’s certainly some we’ve missed – there’s a brilliant missionary position one I can’t find again – but it’ll do for now. If you’ve got a favourite, please, post it in the comments thread and we’ll work it in later.

COITUS
:
X object in Y orifice, and various combinations thereof.




MOBILE PHALLUSES
:
Like everyone else, we predicted they’d be a lot of these. And the prediction was right. What’s most impressive is the number of different ways you can make a cock move.

(The next one will satisfy you if you ever wondered what a large penis would look like when dancing to rubbishy dance tracks)

GOATSE:
The Dark Heart of the Internet, faithfully recreated.

CREATURES WITH ENORMOUS PHALLUS
Look – it’s an animal with an impressively large cock. Noteworth is the variety in size and shape. No person draws a comedy cock in the same way.

(I especially like how the following one licks it and lies his head against it)

(And someone’s overcompensating)

FORLORN, YET DISTURBING, ATTEMPTS TO MAKE HOT WOMEN
As title. Nice try, but… no.

I’m sure Will Wright is very proud of you all.

UPDATE 1: Some further Sporn! Also, if you’re having trouble actually playing the videos, and they’re stopping after 2 seconds, the way I tend to fix it on my machine is closing and restarting Firefox. As in, a clean restart rather than resuming a session. Very odd.

Sponsored links by Taboola

More from the web

From this site

114 Comments