Sporn Wars: Ban This Sticky Filth!

Not rude. Unless you squint a bit.

Now that we’ve all finished scrubbing our dirty, dirty bodies clean after looking at all those obscene Spore creatures, there’s one question on our lascivious lips. What’s EA/Maxis going to do about all these phalluses and buggerers and gaping anuses? Spore is, after all, a family game. It surely wouldn’t do for little Johnny Evolution to discover a vagina-beast has wandered into his game.

There’s slightly contradictory reports about what’s going on. Regular RPS visitor (and fellow NCTSC2 witness) Acosta kindly tipped us off to PC Gamer US revealing that one of their creatures, a ‘Boobalicious’, has been subject to a ban hammer. “[violation : Inappropriate Content –Creature [violation type:Nudity] [Asset Name:Boobalicious]” reads the angry robo-mail they received from EA. Cripes. It’s like prohibition, but with more floppy, multi-coloured sex organs. We’ve also spotted that a few of the videos we posted yesterday have been pulled off (snigger) Youtube, but that’s as likely Youtube’s moderators as it is EA’s.

So we contacted EA for comment, and their community support team’s near-instant (in a “we’re saying exactly the same thing to every bastard who asks us about this” kinda way) response was this:

“Whether it’s modelling clay, dolls or crayons, a small number of people can be counted on to use it for something inappropriate. SPORE is a great creative tool with parental controls that allows users to flag objectionable content and keep it out of their game.”

Which isn’t enormously explanatory, and entirely sidesteps the Boobalicious banning question, but does at least suggest a mass crackdown isn’t likely. Regardless that I’d probably substitute “a small number of people” for “almost everyone who’s every had a naughty thought”, the general reading-between-the-lines message seems to be live and let live. Which, I think, is the right answer. We don’t want to be censored in our own games. Cunningly, they’re putting the onus on players for controlling sick filth, which might suggest EA are somehow covered in the event that there is an unfortunate interface between the innocent eyes of a child and the perverted filth of red-blooded PC gamers. Only time, and hysterical right-wing media, will tell.

But really, the question will likely go unresolved until the full game’s released and there’s a genuine sense of to what extent profligate gamers’ cock-monsters will appear in other players’ Spore sessions.
Meantime, we’ll just keep on giggling every time we type ‘Sporn’.


  1. Muggles says:

    They not only knew this was coming, I bet they were counting on it. Will Wright’s The Sims benefited from all the graphic mods private players made and distributed–because it kept gamers playing. The longer you play, the more you’re hooked, if the game has long playability. In some way, the time spornographers take(well spent or not) to build these will only make them better builders, which will further enrich the Spore universe, moreso when custom buildings and vehicles come into play.

    I doubt we’ll see anyone who is aware of the potential ban trying to upload their dirtiest abominations, and I think even the most perverted players will eventually tire of penis monsters, and will report content violations so they too can enjoy a normal game.

  2. spornmaster says:

    If you want more sporn, spornography.net and sporn-u.com is where you need to go.

  3. Adam says:

    I would probably enable parental control, mainly because watching porn or giggling at living genitals is not a main reason for me to play the game.

  4. Laurie says:

    You know, the toes on that monster in the heading look suspiciously phallic. I think you should take it down. While I’m on the subject, all mouths have lips and we all know what lips look like. Can you imagine what will happen when people start putting mouths on their creatures’ faces???

  5. Kanakotka says:

    Porn…? On my internet? =O

  6. Serioli says:

    We’re forgetting the main problem here! This game perpetuates the myth that we evolved over millions of years and will surely turn our youth from the idea that the world is only six thousand years old and all life appears now as it was created! *Breathes*
    I’m being snarky but if evolution/creationism can make it into politics…

  7. Ian says:

    Maybe Maxis’ Spore 2 will be the creationist game. Each item (sensory stuff, limbs, etc.) all come with one type each, strict limits on how many pairs of things you can have of each etc. All civilisation based choices are made for you and there are ten rules for how your creatures behave.

    “Game of the Year” anybody?

  8. Mr W says:

    I have problems with people who create dumb creatures eg pencil body and penis need to FILTER I do hope EA will do that….

    I think it ill to play with penis around…it mentally.

  9. Mr. Pink says:

    While I don’t want a universe full of penis monster anymore than anyone else (by which I mean I totally want it), I would like to have the option to have all types of content in the game.

    As such, this whole week-long banning for the first offense seems awfully extreme to me. For one, if you were to accidentally upload a penis monster and didn’t realize it, then you’re boned. No warning for you. It also means if any prude at EA decides a creature is offensive, no one else will ever get to see it, even if there’s no reason to consider it offensive.

    Just my two cents on this issue.