Minotaur China Shop

Minotaur? No, it's a full size Tor. That joke doesn't even slightly work.
Matthew Wegner of Flashbang “Off Road Velociraptor Safari” Studios dropped me a line about their forthcoming online home for their games, Blurst. He says it’ll be full of prototypes and similar, and display each game they create with an eight-week development cycle. Which is great, but not something we’d link to until it was up and running properly. But on the site, I noticed that it claimed it’ll debut with five games including Jetpack Brontosaurus and… Minotaur China Shop?

How could we have missed a game called “Minotaur China Shop”?

By being really stupid, as Google revealed Wegner had posted a tech-demo video last month. Those award-nominated indie-game-linking skills have failed us again.

Here it is:

Minotaur China Shop (Test) from Matthew Wegner on Vimeo.

First impressions? Sumotori Dreams meets Mr Magoo, leading to a fairly accurate simulation to what I used to be like when drinking in Bath. All it lacks is a final level where the lead character falls asleep in Set Menu C.

Clearly, we’ll be linking to the game when it comes out. With another splendid name, how could we not?


  1. Ian says:

    They specialise in games with awesome titles.

  2. CrashT says:

    Didn’t Mythbusters already “Bust” this one?

  3. Jacob W says:

    Crash T: For bulls, yes, but Jamie and Adam did not take into account the willful destructive urges of a laconic minotaur.

  4. CrashT says:

    Though I woulda loved to have seen them try. :)

    That Minotaur reminds me a little of old Horny from Dungeon Keeper.

  5. Dr_demento says:

    That looks like it could really benefit from using Euphoria…

  6. Yhancik says:

    Oh no, Euphoria would make it… too perfect

  7. aldo says:

    Interview on the internetwebthing

    Can you talk about that game at all?

    It’s Minotaur China Shop. So it’s a minotaur straight from the labyrinth. He took out a small business loan and started his own china shop, and then he’s not quite equipped to run a china shop, and so it doesn’t go well. He’s prone to fall into a rage and sort of trash the place.

    Best storyline. Ever.

  8. The Hammer says:

    This is even better news than Overlord 2!

    And will probably be my favourite game coming out of this awesome studio.

    Please keep us updated, RPS!

  9. Valentin Galea says:

    There is a sketch resembling this in Family Guy! Maybe that was the inspiration:)

    Also check out his other videos on Vimeo with Jetpack Brontosaurus! Awesomeness!

  10. phuzz says:

    The way the minotaur seems to have little regard for local gravity direction was really off putting (I realise this is early alpha footage), it might work well in a horror title…

  11. Yann Best says:

    It’s Minotaur China Shop. So it’s a minotaur straight from the labyrinth. He took out a small business loan and started his own china shop, and then he’s not quite equipped to run a china shop, and so it doesn’t go well. He’s prone to fall into a rage and sort of trash the place.

    Sounds like the less serious cousin of The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break (a fantastic novel that everyone should read, about the Minotaur working as a chef).

  12. Noc says:

    I am confused and disturbed by this news.

    A minotaur is not a dinosaur at all.

  13. Dinger says:

    The interview addresses all those issues: fear of non-dinosaur backlash, the rough minotaur physics implementation.

    Their idea as explained there is very sumitori: the “game” is fetching china for customers. Once he breaks something, though, he gets angry.

    It’d be cool with lots of different customer reactions. “No problem, i’ll just take the jade vase then. Woah. Hold on, buddy. No need to… Just calm down. Jeezus Christ! Ahhh!”

  14. Esha says:

    This is one of those little things I love about indie gaming. One could say something completely random, such as; Rampaging Dishwasher-Toaster Coalition Rampage, the Ongoing War to Take Back the Kitchen, and you could just bet that someone, somewhere would be inspired to make a game out of it.

    I remember watching old cartoons and reading old comic books where games and movies had completely ludicrous titles, and I’d think to myself; “Yes indeed, Cyborg Vampire Subpeona-Lawyer Warriors X32… only an alternate dimension could embrace cheese like that.” Little did I know that I was merely peering into the future, and that such things would be embraced by the indie devs of today.

    Every aged curmudgeon whoever read a Beano or turned on the TV in the 80’s loves you, indie devs. Keep up the good work.

  15. Kieron Gillen says:

    Esha: I want to play them all.


  16. Andrew Doull says:

    Esha/Kieron: That would be the Video Game Name Generator competition you’d be talking about.

  17. FreezerBag says:

    Andrew Doull: Some how, those silly names are even funnier when there’s an actual game. For linking that I declare you the winner of the internets.

  18. Nuyan says:

    Can’t wait for companies like EA to jump in on it and actually make high-budget games with these titles.

  19. Del Boy says:

    Not related to this story but what are the new series of ads currently on the site?

    “Play Crysis for free!”

    “Play Diablo 2 – fast, free legal!”

    Sounds a bit dodgy…

  20. Sum0 says:

    @Del Boy: I’m particularly intrigued as to how they’re already offering Spore. And how if one tries to download Starcraft (just cancel the Zango spyware install) you get… Flight Sim X?

  21. Flim says:

    was wondering if it was just a shock campaign by an anti-piracy lobby…

    Looks like a lovely bunch of spyware/malware authors.

  22. Jim Rossignol says:

    Those ads should be gone soon.

  23. Ian says:

    My favourite output from the random video game name generator:

    Omega Theme Park in the Middle East
    Mexican Octopus Ignition
    Third-World Motorcycle Conquest
    Hillbilly Chainsaw Brawl

  24. Matthew says:

    The upright forces on the Minotaur are much cleaner now; that alpha video was after a few days of work from one person. I’ll see if I can sneak in some time today to capture a video from the latest build.

  25. rehashbodash says:

    Who would give a minotaur a loan in the first place?!

  26. mysticsika says:

    Im large and horny and my bank manager gave me a loan…..

  27. kindredphantom says:

    Minotaurs in your China Shop smashing your china since 1673 AD.

  28. malkav11 says:

    Mexican Octopus Ignition FTW.

  29. GeorgeR says:

    Wow this is just so ridiculous I love it. haha. Can’t wait for the final.

  30. Furbomb says:

    Going with Ian here with some more potent titles:

    German Nazi Basketball
    Red Hot Deer Hunter Power
    Feverish Golf of the Blood God
    First-Person Sumo Commando

  31. Rufust Firefly says:

    What kind of a world do we live in where Feverish Golf of the Blood God is not in development right now?

  32. aldo says:

    oops, wrong window…….

  33. jake says:

    ok somebody help all i see is fog when i get to the playing part help!!!!