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Red Alert 3: Dance Remix Party Fun Time

Get out of House's head!

Really, despite appearances, I couldn’t be less interested in Red Alert 3. That’s a game for the other three to get all excited about, while I’m playing something about crying. But they keep releasing increasingly ridiculous videos, and that gets my attention. The latest, below, it’s on a whole new level. It’s a sort of late 80s “dance remix” of various actors saying their hackneyed lines. Yeah, resist clicking “more” now, suckers.

It’s a good job RPS has already been as misogynistic about this as possible, because otherwise I’d have to make some comment about quite how lamely they went out of their way to pick old men and young, hot girls.

Which is proving more than housemate, PC Gamer’s Craig Pearson, can cope with. Seeing his betrothed, Crush Fromamericangladiators (beret), doing a little bit of the cage fight kick boxing that only he is sad enough to know she does professionally, is making him go all funny in his tummy.

Also, for extra geek cred, note that the other fake Russian, Ivana Milicevic (she’s actually Bosnian/Croatian), is the “other” Amber in season four of House. (I carefully avoid spoilers in a cunning fashion, there). And will one day be my wife.

Um, I’m rambling. But then, unlike Kieron and Leigh, I also know who Jonathan Pryce and George Takei are.

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Who am I?

John Walker


Once one of the original co-founders of Rock Paper Shotgun, they killed me out of jealousy. I now run

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