RPS Tees: The Perfect Christmas Gift, For Yourself

Imagine if there were some way to tell the world that you regularly visit Rock, Paper, Shotgun, other than by shouting at people on the internet. A way to announce that, were it possible, you would gladly donate all your organs and blood to the proud, tired men who write this site. Unfortunately The RPS Blood-Eater 3000 is still in the design stages, but to make the wait a little easier, we do at last have some official t-shirts. Yes! Cloth and websites, together in close harmony.

If you cast your minds back to the turn of the century, you may recall we ran a compo for you lot to design some RPS shirts. Two of the many splendid entries to that contest are, as of today, now available in real t-shirt form, via popculture torso-cladding experts Splitreason.com. Depending on the uptake, we’ll be looking to introduce further designs at some point, but for now please enjoy the most excellent work of Matt Breit (the orange, shotgunny one) and John Roberts (the black, hivemindy one):

Order ’em from here. There is no finer gift you could give yourself this holiday season. Including love. These are definitely better than love.


  1. Ian says:

    Do us loyal subscribers get a discount? ;)

  2. Alex McLarty says:

    Groovy, but are the t-shirts ethically made?

  3. Jim Rossignol says:

    You can’t make t-shirts out of ethics!

  4. Meat Circus says:

    When can I get my John Walker posable action figure?

  5. gaijin says:

    mmm, but are they better than self-love? will they make me go less blind?

  6. Meat Circus says:

    @Alex McLarty:

    Does this mean anything to you:

    “1. What types of t-shirts do you use?
    Split Reason offers only high-quality 100% cotton Alstyle Apparel, and Gildan Ultra Cotton T-shirts.”

  7. Senethro says:

    Damnit, gaijin beat me to it.

  8. John Walker says:

    Just come over to my house, and you can put my limbs in amusing poses for as long as you like.

  9. Meat Circus says:

    As long as we can do dressing up too.

  10. Aldaris says:

    John, do you realised that you just posted that on the internet? People will actually try to do that, some of them live in or near london.
    Some may even know where you live.

    It was nice reading your part of RPS. You will be remembered.

  11. Yargh says:

    Remember to take many many photos.

  12. John Walker says:

    Well, I was limiting my invitation to Meat, who already knows where my house is. Other people have to provide written applications before being considered for posing me opportunities.

    Also, fortunately, I’m miles from London.

  13. Lu-Tze says:

    Grah expense! I might buy one anyway but jeez that’s some expensive postage. More UK retailers please.

  14. dartt says:

    Damn, I wanted my horace shirt!

  15. Down Rodeo says:

    Hm. If I get paid soon (I do) then I might just have to get both of these (make the shipping moneys worth it see). The question is, what size? And should I give one of these away? Questions questions.

  16. quin says:

    …it’s ethic material, suitable for winter…

  17. lobsterjohnson says:

    No talls :(

  18. Bobsy says:

    No sale until I see the entire RPS team modelling these. And ONLY these.

  19. AndrewC says:

    Man, harsh on Eskil.

  20. Koopa says:

    Only if the second one came in a different colour, I don’t wear brown! (or “texas orange”)

  21. Pags says:

    I only wear cool band shirts of cool bands because I don’t want the world to know I’m not cool. Is that cool?

  22. Stuk says:

    I can’t find the logic of using a USA retailer for a website by UK based guys… oh Loooogic! Loooogic! Where are you boy?

  23. Alec Meer says:

    We may be based in the UK, but the bulk of our readers aren’t. You may have noted the flak we get when some of the compos we run are UK-only…

  24. Malagate says:

    Pags, if you have to ask if it’s cool, that automatically makes it and subsequently you not cool. Damn your uncool ways!

    RPS cannot win when it comes to geography, if only there was a global competition and cotton apparel generation facility, possibly one that’s in orbit so that t-shirts and boxed goodies can be launched directly to your door.

    Edit: Also Alec, is that provable fact or is it that whenever a competition comes up they’re the most vocal ones as all the U.K. readers are busily entering the competition rather than commenting? We need some kind of RPS demographertronator to know the truth!

    Also when did this edit function come back? It’s more then welcome to stay.

  25. Pags says:

    Not if I’m so cool that I don’t even keep track of what’s cool anymore.

    I say we repurpose the Hubble telescope as an enormous t-shirt launcher, like the ones at (American) football games.

  26. Johnathon says:

    @Malagate – I’m not Alec, but yes, it’s a provable fact… Americans obviously like eating our bandwidth more than those from our ‘sunny’ island ;)

  27. James Tao says:

    Wait! As a Angry-Internet-Man in training I’m obliged to reveal the truth to you all. This isn’t about providing comfortable, fashion-friendly, ethical (?) garments to all of you lovely people! No, this is about money! Money that they will no doubt use to fund their burgeoning drug-habits, or the latest sacrificial goat for their temple to e-Satan!

    Shame on you, RPS! Shame!

    … I’ll take three.

  28. Ian says:

    Are these shirts free of DRM?

  29. x25killa says:

    But, but… I want the actual rock, paper and shotgun!

  30. AndrewC says:

    I love that the Internet was invented by Yorkshiremen.

  31. Stuk says:

    I want an RPS demographimeter! And a T-shirt. And a kitten.

  32. Jochen Scheisse says:

    You should announce that a percentage of the earnings goes toward reincluding the edit function.

  33. Pod says:

    A UK website using a Canadia based supplier, you say? Hmph, I say. HMPH.

    Well, I might still buy one anyway…

  34. Malagate says:

    See Pags, you’ve pretty much got it, especially with the point about turning the hubble telescope into a t-shirt cannon; for the cool elite do not follow trends, they make them.

    Yes Johnathon, I figured there would be a way of knowing in terms of ISP addresses or some such internet majickery that would tell you who’s eating up the precious bands. Thanks for that, I would like to see some kind of percentage though, just to know exactly how afraid I should be.

  35. Alec Meer says:

    In the last month, just over 60% of our traffic was from the US, and around 19% from the UK. Of course, we love our countrymen and our colonists equally.

  36. Bobsy says:

    No no. Clearly we need to forceably repatriate that 60% to the UK. They’d prefer it over here. We have a SEXY recession!

  37. Dante says:

    @ Ian

    No, I’m sorry, no more than three people can wear each t-shirt at once.

  38. Ian says:

    Then I’m going to pirate one. It’s the only answer.

  39. Dac====Tammolives says:

    I am sad. I would’ve killed for the Horace the Endless Bear shirt.

  40. Adjust Your Set says:

    “You should announce that a percentage of the earnings goes toward reincluding the edit function.”

    Would buy for this reason.
    People in the UK won’t get the visual joke anyway: we call it scissors, paper, stone.

  41. Ian says:

    I’m in the UK and I think of it as “stone, paper, scissors.”

  42. Shanucore says:

    @Bobsy A… sexcession?

    I’ll get my coat. And a fine tshirt.

  43. Lake says:

    In your face, rest of the world. USA! USA!

    Can I get them on Steam?

  44. Jochen Scheisse says:

    Well, we Teutons tend to call it by it’s maiden name, Schnick Schnack Schnuck. Schnick Schnack Shotgun would also be a nice name for the page once you have visitors per day and can afford to localize it.

  45. johnny_cuts says:

    I’m in the UK and I think of it as “rock, paper, scissors”.

  46. Bobsy says:


    No, a sexcession is a sexy secession! THIS OUGHT TO BE CLEAR TO EVERYONE!

  47. Owen says:

    I live in the UK but nearly always read RPS at work, but it routes via Holland so NER to your stats!

  48. McFuzz says:

    I’ve always known it as ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’. Who are you weirdos who call it “scissors, paper, stone” or the like, and where did you come from?

  49. AndrewC says:

    Schnick Schnack Shotgun is my new favourite thing.

  50. subedii says:

    Also in the UK, ALSO call it Rock, Paper, Scissors.

    “SPS” makes it sound like an infection of some kind.