Last night, while trying to decide whether I wanted five or six space-elevators in something I’m writing, I was chatting to The_B and he pointed out something which amused him in the IGF entries. And it amused me too. Metro Rules of Conduct is a satirical videogame about the horror of public transport. You can play it here. Remember: for God’s sake, don’t make eye contact.
I suspect this resonates with me more as RPS’ resident london resident – a true Resident Evil – than anyone else. Based around Kian Bashiri’s experience of the Stockholm Metro, I can say it’s a pretty accurate simulation of any urban transport system I’ve been on. The idea is – much like real-life – is to find things to look at for the length of a journey without ever having an embarrassing moment of human connection. Because if your eyes met, you’d have to fight or fuck or… I don’t know. It scares me.
Anyway – videogame. Five stops. Stare at interesting things on the trains – Ipods, scarves, bosoms, whatever – and peer at them as long as you can. But not too long, as they’ll notice. And when they do, it’s the best bit. The character stares out at you for several long seconds, forcing you to move your gaze around them, never meeting, in the best digital simulation of embarrassment I’ve ever seen. Well, the only simulation of digital embarassment, but that’s neither here nor there.
As first person shooters go, this is less STALKER and more plain old stalker. It’s Operation Wolf for bored commuters. It’s very silly. I urge you to play.