Achievement Unlocked

Stop whatever else you’re doing and play this fabulous wee thing right away. Just as we’re all wishing there was another You Have To Burn The Rope, along comes this delightful bite-size contender. As with YHBTR, the best approach to writing about it is to not write much about it, because explaining the joke only diminishes it. All you need to know is that you will laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more. Then become so obsessed with unlocking everything that you forget to laugh. Then someone will call it stupid, or say that Simpsons game already made the same joke, or whine that everything’s too meta these days, and we’ll all feel a bit sadder. Then we’ll look at that list on the right of its interface and laugh again.

My favourite? “#49: Total Confusion = Space bar has no purpose, dummy.” I have no idea why I hit the spacebar – muscle memory for Jump, I guess – but I felt ashamed and proud at once when that popped up. If only more games rewarded me for my own inept stupidity.

What this may visually lack compared to YHBTR’s winking, cartoon style, it has in terms of eventually becoming a fully-fledged game with genuine challenges – which, given the good-heartedly parodical nature of the thing, becomes so self-reflexive that my head hurts.

Thanks to everyone in the world for mailing us about this and/or mentioning it Comments. You are all sweeties, and just because folk occasionally submit cool stuff to us en masse doesn’t mean anyone should stop doing it – we’re always hugely grateful.


  1. BooleanBob says:


  2. sockpuppetclock says:

    Hint: keys 1 to 4!

  3. shinygerbil says:

    Took me a shade under 1000 seconds the first time. I didn’t use the hints or anything!

  4. Kast says:

    It says something about the obsessive compulsive nature of gamers that I simply HAD to get all achievements.

  5. MessyPenguin says:

    I had to finish it. its stupid but i had to get them all, still its one of the few games that i have actually finished :)

  6. Brainboy says:

    Amazing. The music really makes it.

  7. The_B says:

    625 seconds. My life is so empty. :(

  8. The Hammer says:

    Hahaha. Aside from no sing-song (that I’m aware of!) this is certainly just as entertaining as BURNING THE ROPE. It’s just less universally funny, for non-gamers.

  9. Kua says:

    Sensational, just sensational. There were genuine lols, that made genuine noise. I didn’t just type lol – no, I actually laughed out loud irl.

  10. Adam says:

    Two words. Love. It.

  11. Calabi says:

    Its ok, but I’m not too sure about all the achievements, I think they may be getting in the way of the gameplay.

  12. Dr_demento says:

    That was fantastic. Sheer genius. RPS and Flash gamemaking community: More of this sort of thing!

  13. Dan Bruno says:

    “Took me a shade under 1000 seconds the first time. I didn’t use the hints or anything!”

    Bet you did. :-)

  14. James T says:

    the best approach to writing about it is to not write much about it

    Yeah, what happened there, huh?


  15. James G says:

    I played this last night after Meat Circus linked it in one of the comment threads. Got all the achievements eventually. I don’t quite know if that means the joke is on me, or I’m in on it.

  16. shinygerbil says:

    Well you get an achievement for opening the cheats page, but apart from that, no. Most things are pretty obvious really, once you figure out the logic of the game :P

  17. Pace says:

    How sad is this; I went back again to beat The_B’s time. 380 seconds! Woohoo, I win! Or lose, or something.

  18. john t says:

    Needs a high score table.

    249 seconds.

  19. Ian says:

    I’m pleased that I like it but don’t feel compelled to complete it.

  20. StenL says:

    I am pretty proud of my 355 seconds. Also, Meta-game of the Ever ?

  21. Ben says:


    It was just about when I was cursing the anti-grav lifts at the top of the stage for not letting me kill myself fast enough that I realized I had never quite played a game like this before.

  22. mpk says:

    There’s no rope to burn

  23. Rosti says:

    Really adore this game – but it’s doubly fun to see someone else tackling it.

    {SPOILER} I found it ludicrously frustrating watching my brother trying to figure out the “Cheater” achievement and refusing to use the Hints system as ‘that feels like cheating’. Honestly, other people are fun. {/SPOILER}

  24. Gap Gen says:

    Yeah, you can get 50% or so in a few seconds of leaping around, I’m sure you could streamline the rest if you wanted.

  25. Jhoosier says:

    I enjoyed it, thoroughly in fact

  26. Andy F says:

    I had to look up the Contra code one on Goolge. I am such a dirty cheater :'(

  27. Mike I says:

    Heh. I finished in 1337 seconds. Seriously.

    (“Scrolliastic” was what had me stumped the longest)

  28. caramelcarrot says:

    I still can’t get the programmer credit one. Damnit.

  29. caramelcarrot says:

    Oh wait. Got it.

  30. slimjim says:

    “Needs a high score table.
    249 seconds.”

    #53: 300 Seconds = Play for five minutes ???

    Also – got it in 797 secs second time round

  31. john t says:

    So this is apparently a sequel.

  32. The_B says:


  33. john t says:

    #53: 300 Seconds = Play for five minutes

    The hints are wrong.

  34. john t says:

    Okay – 181 seconds, and I’m done:

    Hint: 31425300123454321

  35. Psychopomp says:

    I. Love. This. Game

  36. Psychopomp says:

    Note:I am using you internationally connected document to test my Gravatar.

  37. Polysynchronicity says:

    oh god I love this and also Elephant Rave.

  38. Feet says:

    I can’t work out hom to change the elephants colour. :( Someone help me!

  39. Optimaximal says:

    Feet, try some number keys…

  40. nabeel says:

    Oh man, the music.


  41. Premium User Badge

    Gnarl says:

    Ha! 1627 sconds. Beat that! And the colour thing were the last ones I did (apart from the 99 achievements, obviously). An actual fun as well as funny game.

  42. Tei says:

    How can color all blocks?
    there are this configuration


    I can color the “E” blocks, but can’t the “Z” block.

  43. Optimaximal says:

    They don’t count. :)

  44. Denton says:

    You don’t need to colour all of the Zs. :D

    In fact, I got the achievement whilst there was still one E left unchanged.

  45. Jahkaivah says:

    If there was an achievement for having no achievements, could one achieve it…?

  46. Hamoozi says:

    The bonus stage makes the whole thing, IMHO.


  47. Cassie says:

    YAYA!! lol I finished in 1196 seconds! I win. MwHahahaha lol

  48. Michael America says:

    I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. I can’t get Stalactite. I fall from the top of the level to the pit, but it’s not giving it to me.

  49. honolululu says:

    Those are stalagmites you’re falling on.

  50. Josiah says:

    915 seconds :]
    contra and programmers credit had me for awhile