Pokey, Man: Freaky Creatures

I believe the children are our future. Well, the MMO industry’s future, anyway – colourful online words aimed at rugrats look set to be the next great white hope, now that people seem less keen on trying to snatch a piece of tasty WoW pie. I’ve just been wandering around the beta of Freaky Creatures, which is best described as City of Heroes’ character creator (only with super-deformed cartoon monsters) meets Pokemon’s arena-style fighting and The Sims’, um, sleeping.

Despite being an open beta, apparently I’m not allowed to share my experiences outside of the official forums. This is really very annoying, as I didn’t realise it until after I’d spent two hours exploring the game for what was originally intended to be quite a substantial post. Gah. So all I can do is point you at the 500Mb beta, which is currently free to all comers. Yah, it’s for nippers, but I suspect you’ll get a kick out of the knowingly silly monster-building element nonetheless.


  1. Smee says:


  2. Joe Russell says:

    Surely you could post your thoughts in the forums then link to it on here?

    In any case… yeah this looks kinda weird. Freaky, almost.

  3. chaves says:

    Oh, tried that beta already. And I have a comment ready that would have shattered the foundations of all your believes, acclaiming me as your new redeemer. Unfortunately the DNA has sealed my mouth.

  4. Tei says:

    It seems suffer from the Spire dichotomy: Do make my beast cool or powerfull?, the maze seems the tipical ugly element you place on your monster because of the stats, but make your monster looks lame. Vanguard “fix” that problem having a fake “gear” so you look like whatever you want, and that can be (or not) what you really have equiped.

  5. Heliocentric says:

    I know that red guy from somewhere.

  6. Lukasz says:

    I just have to ask
    why there is no Pokemon MMORPG?

  7. whitebrice says:

    The mace unicorn beast is WAY too hot for children.

  8. Lorc says:

    There is no pokemon mmo because Nintendo are hair-blanchingly pants-bloatingly teech-chatteringly nail-gnawingly cold-sweateningly terrified by the idea that people might come into contact with other people online

  9. Russ says:

    The Wii has internet abilities.

    And as for a DNA on an open beta? It’s pretty ridiculous. Maybe I mighta read a review here and got interested, but I have zero sum interest with “YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT” to everyone that plays… the open beta.

    Open. Beta. Wot?

  10. Pags says:

    The mace unicorn beast is WAY too hot for children.

    As long as it’s promoting normative ideas of heterosexuality then Microsoft won’t mind.

    I already have Spore to fulfil my creature building needs. Not that I’d actually play the game itself, but you know what I mean.

  11. chaves says:

    Now I feel guilty for having unleashed the DNA/NDA monster. Blame my dyslexia

  12. Tei says:

    Well… MMO’s are somewhat hard to hack to add new skin textures, since most will check the CRC of the files before loading. I suppose. And drivers are somewhat hard to hack, too, as are distributed by closed source, as binary blobs. So you are stuck for whatever the server think is appropiate for you, and not whatever you want to see on the screen.

  13. Xercies says:


    But the wii online system makes you use rubbish friend codes that you can only get from actually talking to your friend which kind of defeats the object. And most online games on the wii don’t let you speak or write and don’t even have standard team quick speak.

  14. Severian says:

    i predict this game will herald the downfall of western civilization. MMO + Pokemon = I saw the best minds of my (children’s) generation destroyed by madness

  15. Tei says:

    downloaded— played– uninstalled..

    don’t seems any good to me. bad graphics and gameplay.

  16. MeestaNob says:

    Their website is rather broken. Main page link goes nowhere.

    Doesn’t bode well.

    Anybody else played this and, without giving away too many precious non-enforceable-NDA-style-info-tidbits, give me any sort of indication that this is worth trying?

  17. wesley says:

    “The mace unicorn beast is WAY too hot for children.”

    This is not a “mace unicorn”, I don’t even know where you got that from, but shes really not. Shes called the “setsa” and shes not that charming, but if you don’t play the game, you wouldn’t know. go to the site to learn about all the creatures and more! http://www.freakycreatures.com