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Close Range: Ready For Your Close-up?

We’re taken aback. It’s not often that The Onion breaks videogame stories. I mean, satire is their thing, yeah? Which makes it all the more impressive when they break the story on Close Range, a videogame which consists solely of shooting people in the face, at close range. The game itself features a demo online, which we’ve played with mounting fury at what can only be described as the foulest of murder simulator. We’re horrified. In fact, so horrified we’re going to present a gallery of head-shots so we can examine the depth of our outrage.


Feeling pretty outraged.


Yup, very outraged.


Oh, the humanity.


Oh, the inhumanity.


Oh, the nonhumanity.

At least the game does try to actually contextualise this meaningless violence with some meaningful narrative. ‘Tis a mere figleaf.



Though I did cry at this bit. Sniff.

Here’s the Onion’s original news story…


Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face

Good work uncovering this Filth, Mr The Onion. You can play the demo here.

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Who am I?

Kieron Gillen

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Kieron Gillen is robo-crazy.

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