Filthy Ways To Leave Your Lover: Sims 3 Hands On

I didn't crop this to make it deliberately perverted. It just turned out that way. Note the mum's horrified, but the dad is proud.

I’ve been playing around with Sims 3 code for Eurogamer for a few weeks now. Impressions start like this…

I’m not sure what my highlight so far has been. It may have been having a guy die while making out with me, before immediately proceeding to call up his sister, have a little mourn, flirt, make out, ask out and then dump her, whilst standing over the grave of the brother. Or it may have been discovering the patriarch of the town has a daughter, who I end up going out with, only to dump brutally, before hearing the patriarch has died, chatting up the widow in the gym (I ask her if she’s single – surprise, she is!), and flirting with her enough to go steady. All in front of a crowd, including the upset daughter. Before dumping the widow. Only to later, in my dotage, get back together with the daughter and move into their epic townhouse.

Ah, business is good. Or at least slutty.

And continue ever-onwards. Review before launch. And RPS-members-in-game, obv.


  1. Russ says:

    Kieron Gillen: Can lose EVERYONE in under ten days.

    Side note: Sims 3 introducing an inventory? Wha?
    Is this some evil plot to get more casual gamers introduced to the more time consuming devices like item management?


  2. Xocrates says:

    Actually, I think Will Wright has nothing to do with Sims 3.

    Mind you, that doesn’t stop him from taking over the world

  3. ketch says:

    Kieron is a total player ;D

  4. Jim says:

    I saw a screenshot where one of the personality traits was ‘Never-nude’ and there is a family called Funke.

    Love the Arrested Development reference…. I just blue myself.

  5. Kieron Gillen says:

    Ketch: After release, I may do an article about the 10 people my character dated here. It’s not pretty.


  6. Tei says:

    Nothing beat the epicness of sims2 “Lord Nihilus day” (check it on youtube).

  7. Leperous says:

    You are a sick man sir. Perhaps people should be outraged in a “GTA4 warped my child’s mind” stylee?

    I wouldn’t be surprised if you were simulating the RPS office in a similar fashion when no-one’s around to see…

  8. Flerndip says:

    Yes, it has many dials and perhaps dozens of textures to choose from… but what have they said or provided in terms of tools for custom content creators?

    We don’t want to mix and match between what clothing and textures come with the game, or the inevitable expansion packs. We already *know* that micro-purchases will be aplenty. We want to know if we can fire up Photoshop and NIFskope (or whatever) and create our own, as we are used to doing. Any idea if there is support for that, the *real* content creation that gave the franchise longevity, or not?

    One would assume that such a glaring omission might make it into the reviews, but after Spore, I really have to ask before I fork over another penny to EA.

  9. bob arctor says:

    I just blue myself too!

    The only reservation is gone is the slow slow slow build up of friendship in the Sims 1 (the only one I played for any length of time, setting up horrible social experiments) which was replaced by Stranger->Married in 5 minutes of the Sims 2, and which 3 seems to have kept.
    It just makes it too easy, should be a long term plan to mess up other’s lives, not 5 minutes to break up a 30 year marriage.

  10. Bobsy says:

    You know what, I’m going to get this, even as the red-blooded manly gamer that I am. I took a long time to buy the first Sims, naively thinking that it’d ever be released on budget, and did enjoy making vast, cheerful mansions for my sorry charges to wee themselves in. I missed the second game because the slew of vile and tacky expansions had turned me cynical, but I still enjoy the core game.

    It’s that each expansion adds extra watery mechanics that dilute the game more and more each time that bugs me.

  11. Kieron Gillen says:

    Bob: I think a lot of that comes from the aging causing you to have to get a move on.

    That said, my main problem with Sims 1 was how hard it was to befriend (and seduce) someone. In my observation of humans, it’s just not that hard and happens in a matter of seconds rather than years.

    (Actually, that is interesting – it’s definitely harder in Sims 3 to flirt with people who are married. I’ve failed to actually get someone to make out who’s already married, to the point where I gave up trying to flirt with people who were already in couples. I also find it interesting that its definitely possible to make out and even go out with someone before you’re even actually friends if you’re seductive enough – the Flirty trait definitely helps. Which strikes me as… well, kinda appropriate for certain sorts of characters.)


  12. Anthony says:

    And it’s pretty much a given I’ll spend more of my time making houses than actually playing the game, as per my previous experiences with this franchise.

    If The Sims has done anything, it’s definitely given the aspiring Frank Lloyd Wright in us all the ability to make cool houses.

  13. Aegis says:

    Aaaand… there it is. Sims 3 has already been pirated, had a key-gen crack built, and been released by some unsavoury types, by the look of it. Obviously I’m not going to link, but the /b/tards’ cousins appear to have found it.

    EA, regretting giving up SecuROM, much?

  14. Carra says:

    You play a female character, right?

  15. Kieron Gillen says:

    The one for the intro was my Phonogram comic character Emily Aster transformed into the Simsverse.


  16. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    @Kieron: I worry for your children (should you ever have any). You scare me.

  17. MacBeth says:

    [obligatory comment about failing to understand why people want to play with dolls in a computer game]

  18. Rob says:

    EA aren’t targetting the group of people who pirate games with The Sims 3. The priority for them here is that they don’t want to put the people they are targetting through any unusual and potentially confusing activation procedures.

  19. CdrJameson says:


    If many sims are simulated, then could you not have an aim to maximise the lifetime happiness points of the whole population? Sim utilitarianism!

    At least it could track the sum of the happiness changes of your interactions with the other sims you met, and send you to heaven/hell as appropriate.

    Not looking good for you, Kieron.

  20. Rei Onryou says:

    Ah, business is good. Or at least slutty.

    And in the game!

    This must actually be how Kieron perceives reality. I approve.

  21. Jockie says:

    I doubt pirates will really massively affect the longterm sales of the Sims 3. As the NPD sales charts show, they tend to stay in the top 10 indefinately once released and then slowly grab all the other slots with the numerous expansions.

  22. Tei says:

    Yea. The PC area of “GameSomething” has been renamed “Sims and Blizzard Games” here in spain.

  23. Kadayi says:

    Nice preview. I particularly loved:-

    “I just don’t know if it will be enough to convert those who fill comment threads whining about the stream of add-on packs, and that’s a shame.”

    Way too much of that whenever I see a Sims thread often preceded by comments like ‘Well I’ve never played it but…’ or ‘I’ll never play it because EA killed my parents…’ etc, etc


    Also I think its about time people understood that Will Wright only worked on the first game, not 2 or 3. It’s up there with assuming that JJ Abrams is still a person of import on LOST these days (the man’s not been involved save to pick up a paycheque since the second season…).

  24. Aegis says:

    I understand that the hardcore pirates aren’t exactly EA’s target market, but still… I mentioned to one Sims-loving friend that the torrent is out there, and in the last half hour about 20 people have come to me begging for the link. Which I refused to give them, naturally. We’ve reached the point of broadband saturation + teenage tech-savviness where a lot of the target market will maybe ask their teenage son/older brother to help them torrent it illegally. Which is sad, because it’s a great idea for a game, but still.

  25. Jeremy says:

    Nice, Aegis was my old school Counter-Strike handle. I actually have considered getting Sims 3, the first Sims I’ve ever considered getting in my life. I saw the first one in action and thought that having to manage urination is the worst in game mechanism I’ve ever seen, so I decided to never play it. Now it seems like this could be an improvement on removing the ladder in the pool and watching my Sim die.

  26. Nezz says:

    “EA, regretting giving up SecuROM, much?”

    But did they give it up? The NFO from the scene release lists “Securom+Serial” as protection…

  27. jalf says:

    They ditched the online activation. They still have a disc check.

  28. Kadayi says:


    I’d imagine its a lot down to the knowing its out there “OMG must have it now!!!” Syndrome. Rather than “must steal the game and pay no moneys!!!” attitude. When a games gotten this much expectation (as well as a delay) its easy for people to fall over the line. The one thing I’ve been very surprised about is the fact that this time around they haven’t released a separate Sims builder application like they did with Sims 2 (Bodyshop). I’d of thought giving people the ability to model up their Sims prior to the release (which is always a painstaking task if you model real life people like I do) would of gone some way to assuaging the masses.

  29. Aegis says:

    I suppose that’s true. Still, it has been fun giving everyone who asked me for the link a Letmegooglethatforyou, and watching them stumble into one of the many trojan/spyware infested sites that are using this Sims 3 leak to rack up some new “customers”.

  30. psyk says:

    Who in there right mind would download the leaked copy from dodgy websites when you can get it from usenet or torrents.

  31. Kadayi says:


    People who probably don’t pirate stuff regularly. One shouldn’t assume that the internet you know, is the same internet others know. Many people are blissfully ignorant to the whole warez scene.


    I wouldn’t punish them for curiosity, it will only come back to bite you in the ass through your friends if they end up with virus riddled machines. Regardless of the leak, the game will sell phenomenally (the pre-orders alone must be quite formidable).

  32. psyk says:

    True true.

    Edit – even with the amount of press the pirate bay has gotten recently.

  33. Serondal says:

    I might buy sims three if they release a SAW expansion where you can set up horrible traps for your Sims where they have to make horirble choices “Ie, between ripping their own eyes out or dieing” then watching them as I chuckle softly, wondering what happened in my childhood that allowed me to enjoy this scene instead of throw up.

  34. Anthony says:

    Holy Crap it’s on the torrents already! Must download!

    Actually, the only, and ever, ‘illegal files lol warning’ I ever got from an ISP was for torrenting a Sims 2 expansion. Download at your own risk, various countries that limit such shenanigans excepted, etc. EA is watching, apparently.

  35. Serondal says:

    One should always be extremly careful downloading a game that isn’t even out yet from a torrent site. Not that I ever suggest downloading a game from at torrent site instead of paying for it, but doing it before the game is even out is much more probably for you to get some nasty virus that there is no protection for yet. Best to use your friends like a condom and have them download it and see iF THEY get a virus first ;P

  36. mist says:

    I felt a horrid urge to play The Sims 2 yesterday (to build some cool houses). Still have it installed, so I reached for the case, thinking to quickly pop in the disc and play.

    CDs 2, 3 and 4 where there. CD 1 was nowhere to be found.

    Searched half the house, no luck…

    Moral of the story: I’ll only buy Sims 3 if it has improved house building, and if I can get it on Steam -_-

    The whole “creating ridiculously entangled relationships” thing never attracted me. I always started with a dude/dudette, married him/her to another single (thus earning some more cash), and then slowly expanded the family through children, honestly earning money to expand the house. Letting your characters die from old age etc didn’t really appeal to me :/ So I dunno how much the Sims 3 is suited to my playing style.

  37. Serondal says:

    You’ll probably be able to buy it on the EA downloader thing which is similiar to steam.

  38. Snuffy (the Evil) says:

    I always cheated for money to build ridiculously extravagant houses, moved in a family of eight and promptly burned the place down.

    Good times.

  39. DSX says:

    I tried sims2, and really only enjoyed the house building parts as well. The game itself was sort of… boring. Perhaps these quest / rpg elements in v3 will perk it up for my kind of on-the-fence type of player.

    oh btw, a whole comments thread and no one has yet mentioned the naughty fun mods to be had at SexySims2 – for all your pixelated pleasures.

  40. Moonracer says:

    I think an interesting goal the new open town system will allow is playing a male and trying to have children with as many female characters as possible. Then watching the family tree explode over a couple generations.

  41. dash says:

    I never understood what people find fascinating about this game or Big-Brother TV show…

  42. ACESandElGHTS says:

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read online since… f it, this is the single most funny thing said about the Sims ever. After reading this list of Sims pastimes and snickering to myself at work, I want to buy this silly-errrr-wholly awesome game so I can enjoy the atrocities.

  43. Jasmino924 says:

    I can’t wait to get my hands on the Sims 3. First thing that I’m gonna do is try that make-out/death thing!

  44. Thomas Lawrence says:

    “Review before launch.”

    Well, I read Alec’s on Eurogamer, but…?

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  47. Erasmo Steinruck says:

    A lot of weird comments on here. I am pleased I saw it another time. Cudos