Tranformers: Thing Of The Thingy Footage

As we gear up for E3mania next week (our own queen of hearts John Walker will be out in LA attending the show for us), the video trailers will come thick and fast. With Kieron on holiday and Jim elsewhere on business for much of the next seven days, it falls to me to post most of the damn things. Oh, the terrible responsiblity. Will I stand or fall? Let’s have a dry run now, with new footage of the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen game. Will I offer commentary upon it, or will I simply lazily paste the embed code and leave it at that? Only one way to find out…

Yeah, it’s got robots in. Bye!

Okay, okay. As you may or may not know, I have a head full of useless knowledge about Transformers in general, and despite largely successful attempts to grow the hell up, I can’t resist a regular browse of a few RSS feeds to see what’s what. Hence, I can probably name every robot in that trailer off the top of my head. Which is enough to mean that, despite how out-and-out horrible Traveller’s Tales Transformers 1 game was a couple of years ago, there is no force on Earth that can prevent me from at least trying this one. This trailer looks surprisingly good, especially in the poppy-out weapons and showboating animations, but I can’t help but note, as I worried a little while back, that the only stuff getting trashed is other robots and conveniently-placed explosive tankers. For the love of Unicron, destructible buildings are mandatory for this to work.

It does at least hint at a more of a focus on metal brutality and hopefully less cheerless driving from spot to spot, but we’ll see. An impressive line-up of bots there though – with the Constructicon Long Haul (the big green lad towards the end) looking particularly impressive to mine eye. In fact, all told it looks a whole lot more stylish and exciting than the trailers for the movie, as it lacks Shia The Beef doing his bug-eyed, slack-jawed I’m-sensitive-but-strong routine or Bumblebee crying buckets of oil from his eyes.

Poor old Peter Cullen as voice-of-Optimus, though. There’s a guy who needs a lozenge. Here’s what he really sounds like, along with old chum Frank ’80s Megatron/Nibbler from Futurama’ Welker:

And here’s some explanation of the much-trumpeted multiplayer mode. It isn’t giving a massive sense of how it really plays out, but talk of it having a team tactics element rather than being purely a one-on-one smashathon is encouraging:

Finally, this guy explains how the combat and various different characters work, and why G1 fans will do a special wee:


  1. The Hammer says:

    Man, Alec broke the site! Not John this time!

    Anyone remember the fabulously named War of the Monsters? Man, now THERE was a game where buildings got trashed!

    EDIT: Damn it. Now I look like an idiot.

  2. Sartoris says:

    And I thought Dragon Age trailers were the kings of cheesiness. I guess one shall stand and one shall fall. Ugh.

  3. Über Nerd says:

    Wait Megatron is dead by the end of first movie? Now I’m extra happy with not watching.

  4. Blast Hardcheese says:


    I didn’t have anything to actually add, besides with hopes that perhaps the movie will have less human, and therefore be better, and by extension the game will be improved.

    Of course that’s impossible that Shia Leboufski isn’t going to have the most screen time including ambiance, intro-shots, and the credits.

  5. Neut says:

    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: The Movie: The Game: 2

  6. HidesHisEyes says:

    “Much faster pace than anythi-”


    For christ’s sakes, it’s an absolute recipe for “A few players who’ve been going since launch make the game unplayable for new people and completely unfun for everybody else”

    I know it was probably a bit optimistic hoping for a new Mechwarrior, but if anything’s an excuse to get away from twitch gamplay, surely it’s 50 tonne robots?

  7. Gorgeras says:

    Agree with HidesHisEyes on the multiplayer: it was painful to watch them strafing as if the left-right-left is or even should be as viable as it is in others games, usually twitch-shooters.

    If the movement had been more inertia-based where moving in the same direction for a significant amount of time increased speed and chance to avoid attacks, that would have been interesting. Inertia-free, physics-free games don’t tend to be very good these days.

    I did have high hopes until I saw once again they inadvisable decided to use ‘the game’. It has become so common now that it should be an informal law: any film tie-in using ‘the game’ or any variation of is doomed to fail. Film tie-ins that have actually been any good did not use ‘the game’. It’s a sign that a publisher/developer has enough faith in their product that they do not need to explicitly sell it as a tie-in by using ‘the game’.

  8. Mad Doc MacRae says:

    awww, at first glance I thought it was a mech and not a stupid robot

    that’s not to say robots in general are stupid. just transformers


  9. Bobby says:

    Über Nerd> If you just as much as watch the second movie’s trailer you’ll be aware he didn’t stay dead for very long.

  10. Jocho says:

    “Will [Alec] stand or fall?”
    I request a poll! ;)

  11. Subject 706 says:

    People. You KNOW this will be shit. It is inevitable.

  12. Optimaximal says:


  13. DigitalSignalX says:

    More crap then meets the eye.

  14. PC Monster says:

    Not in this film, Optimaximal. Or the last one. These are BayFormers.

    Alec, have some geek points from me for being a Transfan. Oh, and owning a Masterpiece Prime. I’m thi….in my early thirties and still count myself a fan too.

  15. Kris says:

    First film was ok, though I wanted the robot forms to reflect the vehicle forms G1 style. Bay’s fast cut directing is really the antithesis od good action directing, I want to see the cool action contextually, not see almost random jumpcuts of moving metal, eplosions etc… However this game looks promising for a licensed title. I will only do a small wee if the Predacons or Metroplex got into the fight though.

  16. Simon Jones says:

    Hm, despite knowing what a pointless waste of time the project would be, I can’t help but keep coming back to the idea of doing a comic series with how the movies SHOULD have been.

    Bit foamy and fannish of me, but Transformers is the only cartoon/toy thing from my childhood that isn’t retrospectively complete arse, and thusly holds a revered position.

  17. Catastrophe says:

    @ The Hammer

    War of the Monsters rocked. I love smashing your enemy through several buildings.

    @ Transformers the game 2

    No Soundwave?! My fave transformer of all time. One of the best voices/look + mini robots coming from his chest… yes.. MINI ROBOTS!

  18. Dr. Nerfball says:

    Wasn’t there a Transformers game before the movie tie-in which was, y’know, actaully half decent? I think it was soemthing like a free-roaming thing on the PS2 which had you running around trying to find a bunch of mimbots so you can upgrade yourself… Or was it all a dream?

    EDIT: Ooooh, turns out there was quite a few, 11 all told, it’s the 2004 version I’m talking about though.

  19. Ian says:

    If there was a Transformers game by Blurst it’d be called “Giant Space Robots Punching Each Other In The Face.”

    Or something to that effect.

  20. Bobsy says:

    Yes, Dr. Nerfball (it’s reassuring to know you have a doctorate), that would be Transformers: Armada, a surprisingly good game based off an unsurprisingly awful toy line, which tried to marry Transformers and Pokemon.

    And to top it off, everyone KNOWS that Transformers would make an awesome game. But it’s very unlikely that this will be it.

    EDIT: Oh, and Frank Welker has essentially voiced everything in every cartoon ever. And he’s fucking awesome.

  21. MonkeyMonster says:

    Bang Crash Wallop Crash Bang BANG BANG
    *sits grinning like village idiot*
    won’t ever play it (probably) but am looking forward to the film.

  22. Sajmn says:

    Since God created man, and man created transformers, transformers are a gift from God.

  23. Nallen says:

    Who would win in a no holds barred deathmatch between the Transformers and Zoids?

    Also, no Unicron – Orson Wells is OP tbh

  24. TCM says:

    In a no-holds barred deathmatch between Transformers and Zoids…Ideon would win. Even though it’s not in any way involved, it still wins.

  25. Dominic White says:

    N’thing the sentiment that the Transformers Armada game was shockingly great. Apparently the studio behind it wanted to do a sequel, too, but the publisher took the lisence from them, for some insane and retarded reason.

    Sometimes, it seems like the games industry punishes talent and rewards mediocrity.

    Still, the Armada game is worth the occasional replay even now. It had amazingly weighty movement physics, fun combat (and multiplied enemy counts to ridiculous numbers on higher difficulties), some very cool bosses, and managed to even make the Armada lisence interesting, but removing every human characters altogether, and relegating the minicons to a clever collectable powerup system, leaving just a bunch of G1 Autobots/Decepticons to beat seven shades of steel out of each other.