It’s time again. Alec and Kieron, bringing unsexy back. Convening in a North London flat, supported by packets of tea and the speeches of General Patton, they strive to talk about topics of import to the PC nation. From Sims 3, to Left 4 Dead 2, to adventure games, to remixing classics to a worrying amount of time trying to psychoanalyze John Walker and an even more disturbing length of time chewing over matters sexual like four year olds. You can get it from here, see its internet page here or join iTunes here or follow on RSS here. You’ll find a full Episode breakdown below…
00:00: We get the General Patton talk out of the way.
00:15: There is a mysterious gap here. We don’t know what went wrong. Maybe we’ll work out and fix it. Maybe we won’t. Who can tell? (We won’t – Ed)
00:50: The first “In the game” joke as we start trying to talk about The Sims 3. Kieron quickly starts talking about his real first kiss and soup instead. Kieron tries and drags Alec’s recipe for Onion soup.
2:07: No, we actually start talking about the Sims 3. For ages. Yes.
3:20: The first occurrence of John Walker bullying. This is something of a theme.
5:46: Kieron apologises. This doesn’t happen often.
8:03: Stories about French maids.
16:41: Moving off the Sims while touching on the over-use of And In The Game.
17:00: Looking at twitter! And pretty much ignore it.
17:40: Re-make culture and LucasArts adventures kick off. Alec finds them distracting. Kieron doesn’t even bother describing them. Then we’re mean to Roberta Williams.
19:14: Alec pretends to be Jim.
20:18: We move onto Telltale’s episodic games and new adventure games.
21:45: Are the old games actually any good? Also, feeling sorry for John and the regression of the adventure genre.
24:00: How old LucasArts adventures shaped or mirrored our personalities. Or, at least, John’s.
27:04: Spinning into game design as expression generally.
27:33: How would you have re-made Deus Ex, Alec? We talk about re-making Deus Ex and how we’d throw the world in the bin.
29:09: The problem with fandom building mythology out of nothing. Building IPs rather than games.
31:05: What game would you re-make, Alec? Kieron just won’t leave Alec alone. But Alec actually has some awesome ideas. So sez Kieron, writing this. Seguing into games based around aging and also comicky books. Buy Beta Ray Bill.
35:55: Dragon Age. Will Kieron like it because he’s a sociopathic slutmonster?
38:00: We say nice things about the Witcher. Briefly.
38:40: We head into sex in games – and how it works and how it doesn’t. Why does the Witcher annoy and we love the Sims? Lots of sex jokes too.
40:07: “Videogame sex is going always be worse than real sex”. “Sex itself is like PE”. Anecdotes about dragonflies sex drive. Bopping! Man, we’re totally off topic.
42:20: We suddenly realise this isn’t really PC gaming.
42:49: Left 4 Dead 2. Kieron and Alec say ill-advised things, almost certainly, but try to break down what’s reasonable, what isn’t and what’s inevitable.
44:50: Kieron should read the site more thoroughly.
46:00: Er… the BNP and protest votes.
49:40: Games as service.
53:00: “Anything else we can insult on twitter?” A quick-fire answer round. Sarcasm mixed with useful answers, including an anecdote about the danger of saying “pylon” at school.
58:49: In memory of Ross Atherton’s leaving from PC Gamer. A mixture of sappiness and totally scurrilous anecdotes from the office.