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Space! Battles! Gratuitousness!

In space, no-one can hear you be gratuitous.

Space is gratuitous. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly gratuitous it is.

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Gratuitous.

Ack, it’s no good. I just can’t decide which stereotypical sci-fi quote to tiresomely rip-off. Instead, just watch this video of Cliffski ‘Gets A Bit Feisty’ Harris’ new’un. BOOM.

A pretty apt demonstration of the hard split between scheming and smashing, no? Also: I can’t help but dig the John Williams-esque score.

Very much looking forward to this one – but if it isn’t at least 84% gratuitous, I’m going to kick the ear off a man so hard that it hits a planet three solar systems away and makes a sun explode while 12,000 naked girls dance in celebration and a 399,996,534 foot slug sings La Cucaracha. And then spontaneously combusts. GRATUITOUS.

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Who am I?

Alec Meer

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Ancient co-founder of RPS. Long gone. Now mostly writes for rather than about videogames.

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