SteamShovelWare: Steamshovel Harry

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Yengwa forwarded E4’s Steamshovel Harry claiming it’s hilarious and genius. He’s a wind-up merchant and so are Steamshovel Harry’s developers. That said, there’s a few things here I’d love to see a developer totally rip off. Gears of War with the Vocoder-treated briefing vocals would be amazing.


  1. zombiehunter says:

    What the HELL?

    i tried that link… well i tried to ‘play’ that game… heh… 10 minutes of non skippable introduction ? this. is. bullshit.

  2. Petethegoat says:

    I started playing this about ten minutes ago, and the introduction is not yet finished. I am shocked and appalled.

    Still, at least it’s in a browser, or it would probably have Assassin’s Creed-esque quitting.

  3. PaulMorel says:

    F-ing win.


    I was unaware of the first one, but I will have to “play” it.

  4. Dominic White says:

    For those of you in the intro, please do yourself a favour and have the sound turned up. It’s hilarious, and if you’re complaining about that, then you HAVE NO SOUL.

  5. Stupoider says:

    Haha, that was great. xD Thank you very much.

  6. yhancik says:

    I have to disagree, Kieron; this sounds more like Autotune than Vocoder :p

  7. postmanX3 says:

    Oh god, that was hilarious.

  8. Bret says:


    That is all.

  9. bob arctor says:

    I got the joke but it wasn’t that funny. Not to merit the slowness.

  10. MrBejeebus says:


    the music is fun though

  11. Fat says:

    I didn’t get ”the joke”, if there even was one.

    The music and such was funny at times i guess, but the fact that it drags for so long made it less funny, specially when i died in the first second off that rocket.

    But again, that might be because ”the joke” was lost on me. :/

  12. Larington says:

    LOL, long build up to the joke, but worth it I’d say.

  13. Larington says:

    The main joke that is, the music is comical as well.

  14. Bret says:

    Physics is going to kill you. With a gun.

    Anyone else have trouble with level seven?

    The addition of a buddy drawn from your saves on the hard drive made this sort of thing less hard back on level four, but now that Jonlan sent the assistant to rescue the legendary Spider King…

    I’m stuck. Still fun, but I am really glad I took notes on the tutorial.

  15. Noc says:

    . . . yeah, I checked it out, sat through ten minutes of the sort of tutorial information that could easily have been relayed while I was playing the game and gave up, gameplay unreached.

    So yeah.

  16. Bret says:

    Keep going.

    Trust me, level three alone makes up for it.

    And level four makes level three look like a big stinky pile of poop.

  17. marvelza says:

    waste of 10 min of my life…closed window before end

  18. Wirbelwind says:

    Was reading my RSS feeds during the stupid tutorial videos but eventually the music annoyed me so I quit around Physics 103.

    No thanks.

  19. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    @ Bret: The jet-pack controls are just a bit too finicky I found. The clipping issues on the Space Dragon in level 9 are likewise unforgiveable.

    Also, make sure you pick the Man Handy. It’s 100 credits more than the Handu Manny but it’s worth every penny against those bastard P.A.M. Veterans.

  20. Hidden_7 says:

    So it’s not just me having trouble with the Space Dragons then? I just cannot get past them, is there something I’m missing?

  21. Mastrix says:

    Anyone who hasn’t listened to Brad Sucks music should do themselves a favor and do so (he did the music for this game but he’s more of a serious musician than what’s on this.)

  22. Bret says:

    Well, they can’t be killed, obviously, but dealing with one in a tricky side corridor on level five made me realize the clipping is intentional. The things are holograms!

    Which means you just need to destroy the projector. That help?

    (Go past level seven finally, and I gotta say, if you know the trick to the dragons the game gets easier till level ten. And the big finale is excellent. Of course, the new EX button on the main menu still beckons…)

  23. Patrick says:

    Man, level five! I gotta say, if navigating in zero-G is going to be as much fun in real life, take me up there tomorrow.

    The best I could do on the middle section of level 8 was to save five of the spider-kings legs, anyone know how to push it up to the full set?

  24. Bret says:

    I wouldn’t say that.

    I mean, the handu manny seems like a good deal when you first see it, and the vets don’t show in force until mission 4.

  25. gulag says:

    Pirate Defense has a better song and a skippable tutorial. Nuff said.

    link to

  26. Bret says:

    Does pirate defense have a shotgun duel with about twenty combatants and the best zero G physics known to man?

    A duel avoidable through a nearly perfect diplomacy screen, no less?

  27. Jim says:

    The ENTIRE POINT of the game is that it’s a tutorial! There is no game! If the tutorial was skippable there wouldn’t be anything there, for christ’s fucking sake!

    Argh. ARGH.

  28. gulag says:

    I’m sorry, you lost me at unskippable (long-winded, asinine, irritating) tutorial.

  29. solipsistnation says:

    Everything sounds better autotuned.

  30. gulag says:

    Ahh, so it is just a waste of my time. No thanks, I’ll go play some real games instead.

    ‘Burn The Rope’ it ain’t.

  31. Bret says:


    You never got past the tutorial, Jim?

    Man, I knew some people were bad at games, but…

  32. sbs says:

    tutorial is horrible, and annoying, and fucking awful.

  33. gulag says:

    My bad. I just dug up a walk-through over at gamefaq. It seems that you *can* skip the tutorial and go straight to the game. It seems you just hold down the Alt key and hit F4.

  34. sbs says:

    okaz, after the shop, and then the enemz turorial, and now the anthem, i am beginning to suspect some kind of sick sick joke behind this

  35. sbs says:

    wee i was right
    worst post ever Kieron

  36. Filipe says:

    Between the people who don’t get the joke, and the people perpetuating it, this comment thread is pretty damn hilarious. It’s more entertaining than the game.

  37. Lambo says:

    Choosing to romance the Spider King works out exactly how you think it would. Seeing Harry making out with a giant fricken spider is not pleasant. The free upgrades you get from the relationship are kinda cool though…

  38. Matzerath says:

    The Earth Anthem was worth all of it.
    And, of course, the game rocks. As for you impatient types: You NEED the in-depth tutorial! You ain’t getting through this game without a fundamental understanding of physics! No way!!!

  39. srsly? says:

    great troll thread, A+, etc…

    this shit belongs on SA or /b/, not RPS.

  40. Flyboy says:

    God, when they say the spiderking’s jaws can dissolve EVERYTHING they mean it.

  41. Bhazor says:

    Got the joke in the intro. Totally not worth it. It was overly long, poorly written, repetitive and low quality without the clever Cactus/Death Set esque Lo-fi Vocoder pizazz.

    Doubly annoying is the game itself has a load of nifty ideas like throwing down to double jump. Very irritating but I’ll still keep an eye on the developers.

  42. FernandoDANTE says:

    When does this become a GAME?

  43. moyogo says:

    I can’t stop laughing. Be sure you sidestep the explosion with ctrl+alt+dlt and closing your browser :)

  44. PleasingFungus says:

    So wonderful. Excellently done, everyone giving hints in this thread – they really helped me. Just gotta say – whatever you do, don’t go with the Polarizer Shield! It may seem like a better deal at first, but it’ll really bite you in the butt when you’re dealing with the Strong-Bots.

  45. joe says:

    Ugh. Annoying. Gravity’s going to kill you was the best part, and it wasn’t very good.

  46. FernandoDANTE says:

    Oh, so IT’S NOT A GAME? Thanks for wasting my time. It stopped being funny when it started to become annoying.

  47. Dracko says:

    This joke forgot to be funny, let alone engaging.

  48. Bret says:

    Man, the Strong-Bots…

    Seriously, the Polarizer isn’t important for that bit if you approach with tact. The conversations you overhear if you’re careful…

    Funniest part of the whole game. And that’s saying something.

  49. Nerd Rage says:

    Asteroids are smaller than planets
    Asteroids are larger than meteorites

    Truer words have never been spoken.

  50. Flyboy says:

    The reason this is so funny is because I was utterly pumped up to play it, I mean RPS had it… I died a little inside. This game is kind of like free will.