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TF2's Classless Update: Hats & Maps

HATS!

A surprise new TF2 update has arrived, and it has absolutely no class. In fact, it’s about as daft an update as you could hope for, with Day 1’s offerings giving you eighteen new hats, and a new Arena map. “After setting a new standard for Lack of Class in an FPS with the addition of Jarate (the jar-based Karate),” explains the TF2 blog, “we’ve raised the bar on lowering the tone even further with the first ever Classless Update!”

The update page explains,

“Throughout history, men have worn hats as a way of showing how much better they are than other men. ‘I buy hats,’ a behatted man seems to say. ‘I am better than you.'”

and continues on teaching the important history of hats.

The new arena is Offblast, and is described thus:

Arena Offblast is a fast-paced, high-altitude community map set in a top secret missile silo wedged into the top of a hollowed-out mountain. Open-air paths and narrow hallways converge on a central control point located just under the silo’s blast doors.

This mountaintop arena also boasts a sheer cliff face encircling the battleground, giving you the chance to help your opponents improve their tactics. Specifically, anyone you blast over the side will get some time to think about the various flaws in their “standing next to the edge of a cliff” strategy as they plummet to an excruciating, non-respawnable death.

What else do you imagine might feature in this surprise week of what looks to be potentially silly updates?

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John Walker

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One of the original co-founders of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, I tried to leave, but they won't let me. If anyone reads this, please send help.

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