AssCreed TV

We may not get Assassin’s Creed 2 on PC for a few months yet, due to spurious excuses to pretend it’s not about dodging piracy and not giving a monkey’s about the IBM compatible, but there’s no reason we can’t enjoy the promotional run-up. For instance, 15 minutes of live-action footage of a dude being a 15th century Italian assassin, by way of a prequel to the game…

From my limited time with the 360 version of the game – some of my impressions of which are over on Eurogamer – it’s quickly clear dude in this video is AssCreed 2 main-chap Ezio’s dad. I say that because I recognise his face, not because I can read Wikipedia. I recognise the actor, which is quite the thing. It’s a bit Seal Knot / live action roleplay, but at the same time I appreciate a move to posit videogame characters as actual people rather than creepily pretty CGI types.

While I couldn’t say this live-action video was an unqualified success and still be able to sleep at night (that degree of low-rent with that degree of ultra-seriousness doth not a marriage made in heaven make), what I can honestly claim is that, by basing the in-game characters on actors rather than on renderfarm-made faces, there is genuinely something a bit more believable and tangible about the NPCs in the couple of hours of AssCreed 2 I’ve played. Attaching someone’s voice to their real-world face (or something like it) does, I suspect, make all the difference. Why do we have to have perfect, beautiful, impossible people in our videogames? Embrace the imperfect too, for the good of us all.


  1. Jimbo says:

    Watched this a little earlier – it’s really, really bad. Somehow it seems to be getting a largely positive reaction though, so good for them.

    The dialogue and acting when he goes to talk to Medici (5:30ish) cracks me up.

  2. Mr.Bigglesworth says:

    I dont like it. Too cheesy, over the top dialogs, crappy acting ect.

    I guess the kids like it……..

  3. Flint says:

    See, I would have actually really liked this and I’m not even interested about the game itself – I just somewhat enjoy the idea of a company doing something a bit more out of the ordinary to promote the game – but the accents grate me. I understand the game’s set in Italy and the characters are Italian but if the whole game features nothing but your typical Hollywoodesque Italian accent, it’s just going to sound more awkward than if the actors were all talking in their native accents.

  4. Gutter says:

    It’s not that bad… it looks like a video game cutscene made with real actors, like what we used to have before TreeDee (like in Privateer, etc) and it’s better than watching Xena…

    Stop your whining biatches.

  5. Scott says:

    Yeah… This really does not feel right at all. It feels like a fan-made video, but without the passion.

  6. Generico says:

    And then the internet said AssCreed, and a new porno was born.

  7. Mundus says:

    The slow motion walk is what did it for me. Still giggling.

  8. UK_John says:

    Dragon Age and Risen then Fallout: New Vegas (if it’s a ‘proper’ RPG) and STALKER Pripyat is enough for me for the next 6-12 months. With the likelihood of no other ‘proper’ RPG’s on PC in 2010 I am glad we got the titles I have mentioned above, as to silly platform games like this – who cares? There for the console gamers, surely!?

    • Davie says:

      Sir, I believe you are generalizing. This isn’t just another generic shooter or hack and slash type thing–Modern Warfare 2 and God of War 3, those are for the console gamers. Besides, I don’t think this is really supposed to be an RPG. Sorry if you think I’m overreacting, but you make it sound as though PC gamers should only play RPGs. If that’s the only genre you like, fair enough, makes perfect sense. Just don’t go all elitist on everyone.

  9. lagmint says:

    If this is even close to as bad of a port as the original was, why would anyone even want it on PC?

  10. El_MUERkO says:

    ok now it says “100% Ready” but when I attempt to play it says “This game is currently unavailable”

  11. Wisq says:

    “… and destroy a unified Italy. But, there were still some who fought for justice, and followed an ancient creed …”

    “It’s-a me! Mario!”

    Or at least, that’s what I kept waiting for after I read the comments about fake Italian accents. Ah well.

  12. catska says:

    “If this is even close to as bad of a port as the original was, why would anyone even want it on PC?”

    It’s clear some people care about it. Just check the link in the post to the topic about the delay and see so called ‘games journalists’ present their biased opinion on how piracy isn’t a real problem even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Hard hitting journalism here folks.

  13. El_MUERkO says:


    played thru on normal, now loading advanced :D

  14. CMP5 says:

    “A plot by one corrupt family… To overthrow another corrupt family”

  15. Lanster27 says:

    I like how they got the little details right, like how he holds the hilt of his sword when he is running, just like in the game.

  16. ulix says:

    You forgot Drakensang 2.

  17. ulix says:

    You forgot Drakensang 2. As a fan of the Pen & paper I have to name it. And its probably the most rpg-ish of the bunch (maybe excluding Dragon Age)

  18. Guy says:

    “…and destroy a unified Italy”

    This would be the Italy that isn’t unified till the mid part of the 19th Century, no? I know their grasp of history is limited but really, 400 years out is a bit much…

    Also: another ‘Moor’ as a way of inserting someone black? I’ve always wondered, how did so many Europeans meet so many Moors and bring them home? And why did nobody bring back a Saracen? No love for our Arab chums?

    Anyways, bit Am-Dram but at least someone is trying.

    • TeeJay says:

      I understand what you are saying re. the Hollywood stereotype of the dark-skinned Islamic bodyguard character, however the way you phrase it in terms of Moor/Saracen/Arab isn’t itself very accurate:

      Wiki-quotes (not definitive, but giving the general idea):

      “Moor” – has referred to several historic and modern populations of Muslim (and earlier non-Muslim) people of Berber, Black African and Arab descent from North Africa

      “Saracen” – a term used by Europeans in the Middle Ages for Arabs at first, then later for all who professed the religion of Islam

      “Arab” – In the modern era, defining who is an Arab is done on the grounds of one or more of the following three criteria: Linguistic, Genealogical, Political

      The irony is that in reality northern european mercenaries and bodyguards working for southern european and Islamic rulers were far more common than vice-versa.

  19. Radiant says:

    How to avoid an assassin from Assassins Creed: use a Really Big Magnet.
    For a stealthy mobile assassin Altidore really loves buckles.

    Took him 50 minutes just to get dressed the big jessy.
    Remarkable he put his hood up; might of ruined his hair.

  20. Radiant says:

    “She started crying, asking me where I was going in the middle of the night all dressed up.
    So I said ‘Don’t even talk to me in those shoes‘.
    I tell you darling looking as wonderful as I do how can she be so insensitive?”

  21. Baris says:

    Huh, I actually quite enjoyed that. I had forgotten how much fun the jumping around rooftops in Assassin’s Creed was.

  22. Radiant says:

    Did any one else not give a crap about what was going on in that video?
    Assassins Creed 1 was derided for it’s ridiculous cut scenes so to remedy that they prepare us with a 15 minute long one?!?

    Dear Patrice Desilets

    Drunk I may be but even from here I can see you are not Hideo Kojima.

    Love you!


    ps. blame it on Jade Raymond!

  23. Skinlo says:

    I thought that was pretty cool, special effects were quite good. I didn’t even really notice that the accents were bad, but then again I don’t really pick up on the small mainly irrelevant stuff.

    I enjoyed playing Assassins Creed on PC! Didn’t have any problems as far as I could see.

  24. Suncoo says:

    People complain about games based on movies

    Now we can all hate films based on games.

  25. Isometric says:

    This felt very akin to the Command and Conquer FMV’s to me. Obviously not as classic or in that special place in my heart as they are but I’m not taking it seriously and i dont see the full on hate for this sort of thing.
    I think it is nice to see this kind of thing.

  26. Red Avatar says:

    I was not impressed with the first game. Bought it cheap but didn’t play it for more than a couple of hours. The *idea* is good but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. It lacked atmosphere and character big time not to mention a proper story.

  27. Mr Wonderstuff says:

    I thought it was pretty good, not oscar worthy, which clearly some feel it should have been. As an example of how to promote a game I think Ubi did pretty well.

  28. Kem0sabe says:

    Damn that was horrible… worst than B movie cheez…

  29. Lars Westergren says:

    “Why do we have to have perfect, beautiful, impossible people in our videogames? Embrace the imperfect too, for the good of us all.”

    Fat chance. Even now, top animators at Square Enix are spending millions to push blandness to dizzying new levels. An announcement of a new render technology with dedicated graphics cards invented just to generate even smoother teenage skin is expected any day.

  30. Arnulf says:

    “AssCreed” somehow sounds… dirty?

  31. MonkeyMonster says:

    It might not have been that sping tingley awesome but the game could well blow many people away. I await will great anticipation though my wallet does not as I must bite the bullet and upgrade before running this to do it justice…

  32. Wooly says:

    But… but I liked it! :(

  33. Bobsy says:

    Wow, compaired to Altair, Giovanni is a really rubbish assassin. Look how long he took to jump between buildings. RUBBISH.

    I’m really looking forward to this. I liked the first one and the prospect of any game set within an actual historical period rather than a fantasy mish-mash with goblin ears and kobold feet is delicious to me.

  34. Poita says:


    Why do you have to be so rude?

  35. Torgen says:

    I thought it was great, and can’t wait for the next.

  36. OJ287 says:

    I thought that was alright. I’d put it in the same vein as True Blood and Supernatural but slightly better.

  37. basil says:

    All I’ll say is that the chess set is really nice.

  38. tycho says:

    I liked it – for a game company they did pretty well. It reminds me of direct to TV movies done on fairly low budgets.

    I mean, let us look at the subject matter – it isn’t exactly high art now, is it? A little cheesy is ok I think.

  39. Poita says:

    Alec, I was joking.
    I think I may have coined the term Ass Creed along with Ass Greed a month or so ago here. ;)