The Singular Madness Of Serious Sam HD

This is Dave Bladehead. He's very good at crosswords.

Oho, we’ve not said too much about the rejiggery of Serious Sam, have we? I fear it got a little lost amidst all the wartorn modernity, ages of dragons, deadly leavings and lands of borders of recent weeks, alas. But it’s here now. As in, right now, as of today. Steam is its only current home, where it’s busy pulling the crab most muscular in the hope of earning $20/£18 (damn you, exchange rate) of your esteemed funds. I’m in two minds about Sam HD. On the one hand – been there, done that. On the other, well, you know. Serious Friggin’ Sam. Don’t make ’em like that anymore, and all that. Sniff. Below, a glut of agreeably insane promotional videos that we really should have put up earlier. They won’t improve your understanding of the game one bit, but they will brighten/strangen/unsettle your day. Bless you, Crotream, you mad fools.

First, the straight one. More or less, anyway.

So far, so Traditional Growly Videogame man. But let’s continue. Next, three of four beyond-silly testimonial videos that we’ve somehow missed. Ah, The Virals That Never Were. Bless ’em.

Fun! Bar the second, anyway. And then there’s this one. Then there is this one.


Aaaaa. Aaa. Aagh.

Finally, the Happy Fun Time Mode, and a video that made me a very cheery little boy indeed.

It’s the Screaming Guttural Kamikaze Man as backing vocals that really makes it for me.


  1. Fumarole says:

    Ah, the good old Run Backwards and Shoot game. They don’t make ’em like this anymore.

  2. Dominic White says:

    One thing that Super Happy Fun Time lacks that the original games Hippy Mode had is blood-stains on the ground. Or, rather, patches of beautiful flowers that spread around corpses.

    That was awesome. I hope they managed to get that effect back in by release.

  3. Army of None says:


  4. TotalBiscuit says:

    Tried it today, was dismayed with the awful performance. There is literally no reason for it to run at sub 30 fps on my system.

    • Gutter says:

      You mean that it’s not running at 6005 polygons per krundle?

  5. ZIGS says:

    Am I the only one who thinks this remake was unnecessry? I mean, if they wanted to rekindle the interest for the game, they should just release the whole series as a package on Steam for an attractive price (which I’m sure would sell even more). But a remake? Just a visual makeover? Heck, it doesn’t even look that great. The time and resources they spent on this, could’ve been used for a sequel/new IP

    • Lu-Tze says:

      The reason for the remake is primarily, I assume, for the XBLA crowd who are going to be enjoying it on the 360 for £10. If you are remaking it anyway, might as well release it on the PC as well!

    • Gutter says:

      You are wise in your years, Monk Of Time. My XBOX rrod, and the first think I though is “Damn, I won’t be able to buy SS HD on launch day”

  6. invisiblejesus says:

    I just got done playing it a bit, love it. The sounds are oddly distant, though; I need to tinker around with my audio settings and see if I can fix it. Still, good fun and I haven’t even tried coop yet.

  7. Willy359 says:

    Still no other games like Serious Sam. Big huge spaces full of big huge monsters to shoot with big huge guns. Run fast, shoot often. Bright colours. Goofy one-liners. Pyramid of crates. Well worth $20. And I still remember where most of the secrets are.

  8. Mejwell says:

    I hate to be “that” commenter, but you missed by far the best one, Mr. Meer:

    link to

    I implore you to rectify your mistake!

  9. EBass says:

    While I do actually love the serious sam series, I even bought the sequal. 18 pounds for an antiquated rerelease? Try 5

  10. Lord_Mordja says:

    It also has 16 player co-op, something that should be mentioned.
    I do not know if the original had 16 player co-op, but there you go.

    • Spacewalk says:

      I can confirm that the original allowed up to sixteen players to run backwards whilst shooting.

    • Scandalon says:

      Yes, but does it come with 15 other people to play with?

    • TeeJay says:

      Does it increase the number of enemies by 16 times?


    • Christian says:

      One thing to note in this regard is that this one works over the internets, not just LAN. Quite great being able to just hop into a running game and shoot wildly around while seeing 15 other people doing the same.

      The only game where I use the ‘Quick Match’-button.

  11. OutOfexile says:

    Just played through the entire campaign with like 4 other people. ‘Twas great.

  12. Andrei Sebastian says:

    That was the scariest thing EVAAAAR! :))

  13. Jossoy says:

    If I had seen the happyfuntime video yesterday, I would have been convinced to buy this game when I could have saved five dollars.

  14. tikey says:

    Aaaah, I remember those lan parties. Ten people with chainsaws running towards a bull, oh, the memories.

  15. Marmaduke says:

    I like these videos very much. The infomercial is just brilliant. Love it. Also love crowd control shooters cause sometimes (a lot of the times) I don’t want to hide behind a crate popping shots or sneaking around in the shadows, I just want to run around and shoot stuff!

  16. Patrick says:

    ZIG, there’s hundreds of new games every year for guys like you. SSHD is a move to be encouraged! How many of your all-time favourite games of ever would you pay again to have remade in a format that doesn’t make your eyes be sick, but hasn’t had the gameplay/plot you love tweaked as in a sequel?

  17. Lack_26 says:

    The band (Tegan & Sara) at a concert I was at the other week came out to the ‘sunshine, lolliepops,…’ song, I now have two great memories linked to this song, the concert and shooting piñata like headless-kamikazes in the face.

  18. Dan Pearson says:

    Now available for £9.99 from

  19. Dan Pearson says:

    Now here: link to for £9.99

    • Senethro says:

      Oh no, not another games download service. I’ve got too many passwords now :(

    • Gotem says:

      don’t worry, just mail me all your password and if you forget one I’ll gladly tell it to you

  20. Quercus says:

    I agree with other comments – I had this originally and thoroughly enjoyed it. But would I pay again for exactly the same monsters and levels?
    Not convinced.

    Croteam could easily and produced a mix of old levels and new ones for the new engine (a bit like a Director’s cut with extra stuff added in).

  21. Jason Lefkowitz says:

    An entire thread on Serious Sam and not a single mention of “frantic action feeling“?

    For shame!

  22. kyrieee says: