Hello! How are you? Uh-huh, yep, right, right. Me too! Yeah! Anyway, enough about that. Here’s a few missed trailers for Star Trek Online, which is as much to remind myself that I’ve got a beta key lurking somewhere in my inbox as anything else. My PC’s been dead – a case of motherboard lupus – since just before Christmas, see, and it’s only been back on its unreliable feet as of today. Which leaves me with a dilemma. Where to start? What to catch up on? That unfinished campaign in Dragon Age, the TF2 updates, the first L4D2 mods, finally getting around to learning Solium Infernum, the raft of tantalising indie games that have clogged up the RPS inbox over Christmas, or just staring at my email program for six hours with blinking? All good options. But I really would like to try STO.
It’s due out proper in Feb anyway, so perhaps delving into the beta at this stage would be futile. It’s been ever such a long time since an MMO did much for me, but the most recent trailers, plus John’s write-up of the character creator, have awoken cautious hope. Also, some sneering. The run animations! Oh god! The scenes of a man being repeatedly shot with a giant phaser and only juddering slightly each time! But then, spaceships. Oh, sweet spaceships. And the Spocks.
Here’s the most recent, which seems to be just a slightly less bombastic version of the last one – but I’ve uploaded it now, so you can bloody well watch it.
THE RUNNING. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Quite taken with the rest of it, mind.
Then there’s the celeb factor. Here’s Sylar desperately hoping there’s anything even remotely memorable about his reedy, sneery voice:
Riiiight. You might look the part, chummo, but that simply isn’t a voice to chill’n’thrill the spine. Not like this one:
Oh, Leonard. Wonderful Leonard. Please read me bedtime stories. Not whatever that rambling lore you’re reading in the video is. Something timeless. Perhaps… the ballad of Bilbo Baggins.
Never gets old, that. And that Quinto boy could never pull it off. Never!