Star Trek Online’s Multi-Spocks

Hello! How are you? Uh-huh, yep, right, right. Me too! Yeah! Anyway, enough about that. Here’s a few missed trailers for Star Trek Online, which is as much to remind myself that I’ve got a beta key lurking somewhere in my inbox as anything else. My PC’s been dead – a case of motherboard lupus – since just before Christmas, see, and it’s only been back on its unreliable feet as of today. Which leaves me with a dilemma. Where to start? What to catch up on? That unfinished campaign in Dragon Age, the TF2 updates, the first L4D2 mods, finally getting around to learning Solium Infernum, the raft of tantalising indie games that have clogged up the RPS inbox over Christmas, or just staring at my email program for six hours with blinking? All good options. But I really would like to try STO.

It’s due out proper in Feb anyway, so perhaps delving into the beta at this stage would be futile. It’s been ever such a long time since an MMO did much for me, but the most recent trailers, plus John’s write-up of the character creator, have awoken cautious hope. Also, some sneering. The run animations! Oh god! The scenes of a man being repeatedly shot with a giant phaser and only juddering slightly each time! But then, spaceships. Oh, sweet spaceships. And the Spocks.

Here’s the most recent, which seems to be just a slightly less bombastic version of the last one – but I’ve uploaded it now, so you can bloody well watch it.

THE RUNNING. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Quite taken with the rest of it, mind.

Then there’s the celeb factor. Here’s Sylar desperately hoping there’s anything even remotely memorable about his reedy, sneery voice:

Riiiight. You might look the part, chummo, but that simply isn’t a voice to chill’n’thrill the spine. Not like this one:

Oh, Leonard. Wonderful Leonard. Please read me bedtime stories. Not whatever that rambling lore you’re reading in the video is. Something timeless. Perhaps… the ballad of Bilbo Baggins.

Never gets old, that. And that Quinto boy could never pull it off. Never!


  1. Jad says:

    My vote is for you to spend your time with those tantalizing indie games, as I’d like to read about them and I don’t care about MMOs. Of course, it’s your time and your site, so feel free to ignore me.

    Also, being not much of a Trekkie but very much a videogamer, hearing Leonard Nimoy’s voice makes me think of Civ IV much more than Spock.

  2. tannerd says:

    I’m not sure Leonard pulled that of either.

    I was going to ask if you could see a modern day celeb doing something so god-awful. But then I remembered celebrity big brother was on.

  3. Riaktion says:

    I like Star Trek, and want to play this… but Old Republic is by BIOWARE and it looks a lot more polished than this…

    Reviews now please.

    • Wulf says:


      My prediction…

      The Old Republic

      It’s going to be very polished and mechanically perfect, it’s going to have lots of content, but it’s also going to be incredibly dull and boring. It’s going to operate from solely within the Star Wars lore and take it nowhere new. It’s going to be Star Wars just as we’ve seen it before, and it’s going to sell by the truckload because Jedi are for other people what werewolves are for me. In other words, a Jedi can make the most uninspiring game palatable, so it’ll no doubt garner huge amounts of praise. It’ll still be terribly boring, however.

      You’ll get a lot of time out of The Old Republic, there’ll be no doubt about that, but it’s very doubtful that even a minute of that time is going to be too memorable. It’ll be remembered for being a functional, polished game rather than for any other reason.

      Star Trek: Online

      This one’s going to be about fun. It’s not going to be as adventurous with the lore as we might expect of Cryptic, but they’re still going to do bravely dangerous things, here and there. It’ll also be interesting, and tremendously fun, it’ll leave whomever plays it with a decent amount of good memories. It’s probably going to be short on content though, and filled to the brim with bugs and balancing issues. The balancing issuses will probably be handled in a ham-fisted way that’ll slowly erode the game over time.

      Star Trek: Online is going to be fun for the first month, probably one of the most fun MMOs you’ve ever played, at least until it’s culled with ham-fisted patches. So get it, but don’t get the lifetime, play it for that month and see most (if not all) of the content, and then leave it at that and know you’ve seen the best of it.

      How do I know this?

      I just know the companies involved. Let’s wait and see if I’m right! Me? I’ll be skipping The Old Republic, and hopping on board Star Trek: Online for a month to enjoy the best of it before it goes downhill. Then it’s the long wiait for Guild Wars 2. ArenaNet really needs to get an alpha out that I can play, because Gods damn it, no matter how much I go back to Guild Wars, it’s still one of the most beautiful, tantalising, and enthralling online RPGs I’ve ever experienced.

      I want that now. :<

    • Riaktion says:

      You know you could be right. I enjoyed City of Heroes & city of villians.

      I really do have fingers crossed for this game as I rather under estimated my Star Trek fandom when i said i “like” it, however every trailer so far has left me somewhat underwhelmed.

      I may allow some of my fellow gamers to scout ahead and report back before boldly going anywhere

    • destroy.all.monsters says:

      I’d tend to agree with Wulf regarding STO. The thing is I can’t imagine it will be sixty dollars worth of fun in its first month. Sixty. Dollars. Besides if one is up to their eyeballs in work or other obligations you’ll probably end up living vicariously through what others do on various fora anyway because they will find a way to patch the fun out of it.

  4. Vitamin Powered says:

    I love that the Content Rating had “Fantasy Violence” in that second video. I am, mind, easily amused.

  5. TooNu says:

    WARNING: If you are the sort of person that feels they could not deal with a buggy launch and server problems, sudden patching and all sorts of crazy game bugs then please for the love of Jesus DO NOT PLAY IN THE FIRST MONTH AT LEAST.

    All MMOs have shocking terrible launches and the forums are only ever filled with neigh sayers and bandwagon hangers on wiling the ship to sink. Do not be one of these people. If you really want to play an mmo then give it some months (at minimum 2) and then see how it has progressed otherwise you are only going to be dissapointed.

    Oh and Star Trek really has a market these days? wow.

    • Lafinass says:


      The movie grossed some 380 million worldwide, so I’d say so.

      And it amazes me, how everyone holds new MMO’s to the World of Warcraft standard these days. Comparing new releases seeing their first real massive player influx to a game with five years of bug fixes and polish on it. Am I the only one that remembers how badly the first few months of WoW went? But no, every new MMO has to be flawless with no bugs or server instability on the first day of release or the internet explodes with ‘ZOMG! BAD GAME!’ hysteria.

    • Frankie The Patrician[PF] says:

      And I say to Hell with WoW….I want new MMOs to be like Eve, EQ2, UO etc., but just not the damn WOW!
      So any game being different from WOW and not a Korean grindfest is very welcomed

    • invisiblejesus says:

      @Lafinass: Depends on your priorities. In terms of being fair to developers, it’s absolutely unreasonable to compare a new MMO to the state of WoW today. However, in terms of the customer wanting to get more quality for their money, it’s perfectly reasonable to want to play a polished, debugged, stable game over a rough-around-the-edges, glitchy game. $15 a month is still the same amount of money whether you spend it on a new MMO or an old standard, and a shitty experience in a new game is still a shitty experience.

    • Riaktion says:

      I don’t recall it going badly at all…. did it?

    • Vitamin Powered says:


      It got bad enough that Penny Arcade stripped WoW of its 2004 game of the year status.There was a lot of bad feeling back then.

    • Riaktion says:

      Fair nuff :o)

  6. Frankie The Patrician[PF] says:

    How about some v1a..ah, sorry, wrong forum :)
    The price over at Steam is so bloody awful, tho :( Still considering jumping onto the bandwagon early…I’m yet to be an early access vet in any MMO…Well, I could have been in Warhammer Online, but…that would be a suicide :)

    • Lafinass says:

      Amazon. Just because having a borg bridge officer seems like the best of all the pre-order bonuses.

    • Lilliput King says:

      £25 from Amazon, not terrible.

      Can’t see myself pre-ordering, though. Previews thus far have been decidedly ‘mixed’.

  7. destroy.all.monsters says:

    As much of a STOS fan as I am I will be waiting to see what reviewers and players think of it. Even the stars of the Matrix series couldn’t save that MMO and I hate grinding.

  8. Eater Of Cheese says:

    I used to play the Ballad of Bilbo baggins when it was a humble .mov file downloaded of some now defunct peer to peer network, mainly to freak out and crack up intoxicated mates once we’d got home from the pub.

    Freakin’ hilarious.

    But I can’t let a mention of Star Trek can pass without dropping this link to the Firm’s classic parody, Star Trekkin’ ( which I remember watching on Rage one hungover morn, long ago). I love the claymation film clip, and when I crank up STO I will be listening to this song, never fear:

  9. The Dark One says:

    This had better be the main theme for the game:

  10. bill says:

    Hey, How about some SPOILER TAGS for that song!! I haven’t seen The Hobbit yet!

  11. TeeJay says:

    Where to start?

    More sexy-stupid-psychedelic-sixties-stuff please :D

  12. Scott says:

    Definitely the TF2 updates. Have some fun with the Eyelander before they nerf the everloving hell out of it. haha

  13. matte_k says:

    what, no bill? for shame…
    link to

    Also, heard he was getting a chat show. If they don’t call it “Chatner”, they’re missing a trick…

  14. Cvnk says:

    So from what I’ve seen of this it doesn’t look like multiple players crew a single ship? Is that accurate? And if so WHY THE HELL NOT?!? >:(

    • Riaktion says:

      That was the original plan, however they then decided that was a bad idea, and as much as I would love the idea of that, I don’t think I would actually enjoy that.

      Buts maybe thats just me

  15. Bolt Axyon says:

    Hm, this new time line is not to my liking, I quite like the Romulans.
    But when cryptic\atari start with the free trial weekends I’ll definitely give it a go.
    Seriously, who pre-orders an MMO?

    • Lafinass says:

      @Bolt Axyon

      The game is actually old timeline.

      “Star Trek Online exists in the Star Trek universe’s “standard timeline,” whereas the latest Star Trek movie exists in an alternate timeline created when Nero and Spock entered a singularity and were transported back in time. Approximately 30 years after the events in Star Trek Nemesis. The game starts in 2409. Technology has advanced and the galaxy is a much more volatile place.”

  16. Red Avatar says:

    I pre-ordered this along with Mass Effect 2. It’s a bit of a gamble but considering you get a free beta month (ideal for getting a feel of the game) and then another free month on top of some other benefits, it seems a small price to pay. I just subscribed to a Sci-Fi channel on cable TV so I’ve been bathing in retro Star Trek and it seems like a good time to have a go!

  17. klumhru says:

    @Riaktion: The first 6-8 weeks were more than a little clusterfucky yeah.

    A preview of this would be nice, as me and the missus are contemplating playing. SW:TOR looks awful and has no space flight, so this looks like a nice alternative.

  18. AndrewC says:

    That does seem to be a lot of Vulcans, yes. Have the developers released their Recommended Spocks yet?

  19. Tei says:

    Is a trap!

  20. CaseytheBrash says:

    Why the hate for Sylar? I was amused by his Spock, although I’ll admit I was waiting for him to flip out and do the finger cleft skull thingy. Although Spock nailing a student did make me a bit nervous for some reason…

    One of my friends was pissed because Kirk wasn’t a big enough douche bag.

    Derailed, I’m hopeful for the game but the animations look a bit clunky for a lot of the features. Space combat doesn’t quite flow. It seems a bit jerky. The running, most likely has to do with the way you create toons. Some of them get quite large.

    • Lafinass says:


      YES! When he had Kirk by the throat in that fight scene on the bridge, for a moment I really expected him to bring up the finger.

  21. meeper says:

    Pass. I can’t shake the feeling that STO will be about as much fun as SW: Galaxies was — that is to say, none at all.

    • Red Avatar says:

      SWG was far from a bad game early on. It’s only later that they became desperate for new players and made it too easy to become Jedi and other measures that crippled the game. Back when most people were still starting out, the community was a lot more fun.

  22. DK says:

    “And it amazes me, how everyone holds new MMO’s to the World of Warcraft standard these days. Comparing new releases seeing their first real massive player influx to a game with five years of bug fixes and polish on it.”

    Because comparing a new release to the game you could have played five years ago serves no purpose whatsoever. You compare the new release with the game you could play instead right now. And that other game happens to be WoW as of right now, not five years ago.

  23. Durns says:

    Alec –

    Whenever I see your name on a post I immediately start thinking of meerkats and how they always sound like they’re saying “meermeermeer meer meer meermeer” when danger is nearby.

    Sorry, just felt the need to share.

  24. Max says:

    Dear “HD”,

    You are my new least favorite prefix. Please crawl into a corner and die.


  25. Baggy says:

    I know, this is really the way it should be. The only thing that will bother me more than a Star Wars universe filled to the brim with jedi (what the Old Republic will be) is going to be a Star Trek universe filled to the brim with fantastic starships.

    No, I don’t think its fun that everyone gets to be the heroic jedi or starship commander. Apparently that’s what MMO developers think I think is fun though. Whats the fun of being a heroic badass when everyone around you is also a heroic badass?

  26. Will Tomas says:


    I completely agree – Star Wars Galaxies was ruined the minute everyone got to play Jedi, but the problem is – who’s going to volunteer to be the Engineer? Or the Security Guard? Or to fly the crap little spaceship that can’t reach lightspeed, let along take on a Klingon battlecruiser? Especially if they have to pay a subscription for the pleasure. No one wants to do the grunt work, so unless you flood the game with very well programmed NPC characters no MMO will be able to stay afloat by taking that approach.

    Except Eve, obviously, but I suspect all players with that view are already there.

  27. Peace of Eight says:

    So now you’ve stooped to deleting comments with which you don’t agree. Buh-bye. I don’t traffic sites run by self-absorbed tyros.

    • Riaktion says:

      A what now? Is this true RPS? Surely not.

      Are you deleting comments?

      I assume it was out of order or racist or something?

      Obviously I understand you can do what the smeg you want of course :o)

  28. Howl says:

    I strongly recommend getting a beta key from Fileplanet and trying this yourself because there are a lot of rampant fanboys talking about this game like it is the second coming of Christ and they could not be further from the truth. See for yourself but don’t buy it on the licence alone.

  29. Arnold Ringley says:

    Amaze! Image researching bing for hours just for this and i eventually think it is right here!