Build It, They Will Come: TF2 Engie Tease

It is Team Fortress news so we must post it because it is Team Fortress news, even in the face of our great despair about what the morrow may bring for the UK. Valve’s monopoly on patch-centric gossip remains extraordinary, the presentation alone ensuring gents like us are duty-bound to cover it. This time, it’s a teaser for the long-awaited Engineer update…

(Bigger version here).

Which tells us precisely nothing. OR DOES IT?

Our arch-nemeses PC Gamer think otherwise. They’ve been through the video to a near-psychotic degree, identifying what they reckon are clues. Robot arms! Flamethrowers! Robots! Mysterious domes! Red lights!

Could just be incidental clutter, but big bastard teasers like Valve don’t tend to put stuff like this out without hiding an Easter Egg or two. So, what do you think we’re in for?


  1. LimeWarrior says:

    OMG finally! I stopped playing Engineer because it was too repetitive. This could open up a whole new world.

  2. Simon says:

    I’m betting on either the blowtorch/welder or mallet being something. Can’t wait!

  3. Wulf says:

    Robots would be very nice indeed, I’d actually play as an Engineer again, then. >.>

  4. DJ Phantoon says:

    I want to see a welding torch as a melee weapon.

    Less damage and slower repair, but sets dudes on fire and will repair faster if concentrated longer.

  5. 20thCB says:

    Could there perhaps be a clue in the final caption? ‘It’s your turn now?’
    Maybe there’ll be player input in this update, like us voting for player craftin ideas, or fighting over which unlock we prefer (like with the demo/soldier wars).
    Anyway.. interest piqued….

  6. Plazmataz says:

    “Now it’s your turn?”

    Could this be implying that the player will be given some level of design customization?

    • Stabby says:

      Oh god mix and match sentry gun? Hmmmmm

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      Retrothink: This may all just mean that Engineer is going to have community weapons like the other classes.

      Which of course means the Engineer update is coming with it.

  7. RedFred says:

    Should I get TF2? I have been very tempted recently and there seems to be a fair few NZ servers which is good.

    • westyfield says:

      Yes. Same to anyone else who asks.

    • gryffinp says:

      Absolutely not. Valve is certain to release a sale with the engineer update, so you should hold out until then and swing a discount.

    • 1nightstand says:

      Dude, when you become good at TF2 and you’re having one of those streaks where no one can beat you… there’s nothing quite like it in the whole gaming world- that mix of triumph and comedy causes a very peculiar elating sensation… quite addictive, FYI.

    • Pani says:

      And don’t be too worried about being late to the party. I bought my copy a good year or two after release and had no problems fitting in. Most classes are easy to pick up and play and the community is generally pretty decent.

    • Momo the Cow says:

      Honestly, Team Fortress 2 is the best time I’ve had on multiplayer. Like 1nightstand said, the mixture of comedy with some of the most well balanced, satisfying gameplay I’ve experienced is uniquely rewarding, and the community is as strong as ever.
      I got tired of Counter Strike because of all the hyper-accurate twitch players who became unstoppable because they had the best mouses or had played way, way too long. TF2’s weapons are far less (impossibly, like TF2) accurate, and the classes and gameplay balance each other superbly. The different characters create very distinct styles of play, and you never stop trying new stuff or settling on one class or style of play.

  8. Corrupt_Tiki says:

    I can’t get TF2 to work :'(

  9. Yargh says:

    possibly not related to this post, but when I opened it a popup ad for tried to open.
    I really hope it’s not something you wanted to happen.

  10. PacifismFailed says:

    only tf2 can save us from the torries:P

  11. Stick says:

    Grrrmbllllrrrr. Hffffpppp mrrrsssfffr hudda-hudda.

    (“Oh, so he’s the one who replaced my barely functioning flamethrower with a tabasco spray can.”)

  12. Bolt Axyon says:

    I have no doubt that this will be a good one and a “meet the medic” video would be nice too.

  13. Orpheon says:

    Look at the background. you see a blueprint with every flash. I think that’s the clue

  14. Real Horrorshow says:

    Anyone else notice the George W. Bush Texas “heheheheheh!” laugh? Awesome. Maybe one of his new creations will be called The Decider.

  15. Ven says:

    No one at PC Gamer or here noticed he MALLET he was holding? NEW MELEE WEAPON? I think so…

  16. Monchberter says:

    I scent a topical update. An Iron Man style suit with slow recharging battery and Crysis style powers?

    • Monchberter says:

      OR, sentries that can be upgraded with any weapons picked up as a ‘bolt ons’.

  17. RC-1290'Dreadnought' says:

    I’m just hoping I learn to play spy again, before this update comes out.

    Oh, and the “Hehehe” makes me laugh every time I see this.

  18. Gorgeras says:

    He solves practical problems.

  19. 12kill4 says:

    I’m banking on some sort of re-deployable turret, an automated repair dispenser and a jump-pad instead of a teleporter.

  20. Nonegatives says:

    I can’t get TF2 to work :’(
    I don’t think you should be playing this at work ;>}

  21. Sgt. Hawk says:

    Lol, everyone is looking way to deep for clues, pay attention to how he wacks the *thing* with the */hammer\*, it seems that he is upgrading something.

    Long(ish) story short: New melee weapon, The Hammer.

  22. broklynite says:

    I think that the bigger question, which is not being asked, is if one of the upgrades allows the sentry guns to talk. Like, when someone pops in and out of it’s periphery, it could say something like, oh I don’t know…. how about “Are you still there?” and when they come back in view “I see you” and scream when attacked, and maybe even forgive you when you blow them up.

    What? It could happen.

  23. gildron says:

    God, I adore the TF2 team. At this point they are like an indie…. But with, you know, lots of money. Having something like ten total employees working on the game. Pretty epic. Their writer/writers is/are fantastic, always.

    Just, overall, this game has got to be the best value for my money ever. I’ve been playing since December of ’07 and I have yet to stop for more then a month or so, just because all of the new free toys keep bringing me back. I really wish other developers would look at this, see the ridiculous sales spikes that occur every time they release an update, then try to do the same thing.

    I like free updates.

    • Ninja431 says:

      Yes, I love TF2 too, but have only had it 2-3 weeks. I was instantly in love with the game and would probably be a dedicated Engineer if a good update is released. And Twigg, spider mines? Hardly mines if they can RUN and TAKE THE FLAG, they would be more like scout bots or something

    • Dave says:

      If the bots actually tried to take the flag instead of just being highly mobile d-bags, that would make them better than scouts.

  24. Davie says:

    Oh! Oh! Maybe the flamethrower parts are foreshadowing “Meet the Pyro”! That would be awesome.

  25. cemkino says:


    • TCM says:

      But he’s not IN A CAVE. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS.

      So I guess he’s not as good as Tony Stark. Probably.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      How do you know that’s NOT a cave?

      And he does regularly build from scraps.

  26. bleeters says:

    About damn time. Engineering’s been a pain since the Direct Hit came out.

    Cautious optimism: On

  27. Batolemaeus says:

    I love playing Engi, but nearly all updates were a stealth nerf. Pyros suddenly push you away from your point, burn you from afar, kritzkrieg soldiers one shoot you, direct hit kills you and your sentry, scouts go invulnerable, spies snipe you or slowly sneak up and decloak when you can’t see them.

    Overall i’m not very satisfied with the amount of projectile spam. It wasn’t like that in vanilla. :(

  28. hurrdurr says:

    hurp durp. mallet. new melee? SEEN THE HOMEWRECKER? the pyro has it, and it’s shit.

  29. Arthur Barnhouse says:

    That’s true! you could be building a completely new sentry over and over and over!

  30. Brendan says:

    It’s quite obviously a remote controlled sentry gun with either mechanical spider legs or a Wacky Races style “two big wheels, 2 small wheels” setup.

  31. DMJ says:

    [Heavy] Engineer is credit to team! [/Heavy]

  32. Inigo says:

    I wonder how much the Engie’s VA actually got paid for that. Or was he just given a bag of grapes or something?

  33. Tei says:

    MINES!! …. GIMME MINES!!!!!!


    • Tei says:


    • Sarlix says:

      And can detonate remotely, and fix dispensers, and….and….*passes out*

    • Spacewalk says:

      Forget the mines, I want to see a turret on wheels that can patrol bases like a bomb disposal robot that disposes of you instead.

    • Tei says:

      What about a mechanical MULE that can spawn a energo field that stop all range weapons, so only mele weapons work?

    • PleasingFungus says:

      And then the M.U.L.E.s can plant themselves on the ground and turn into factories that produce metal! But you’ve gotta watch out for market crashes.

    • DMJ says:


    • Spacewalk says:

      Whatever they do it has to put a speaker in it that plays hehehe.wav right before it kills you.

  34. says:

    The hammer is most likely the PDQ; a weapon that allows for much faster deployment, at the cost of not being able to upgrade the buildings.

  35. Twigg says:

    I know this is not the time ore the place (but ive been up for 12 hours drinking) i can’t belive the lib dems did so badly! we got destroyed in reading and thats a uni town

  36. Sarlix says:

    Oh at long last! Yippie-Ki-Yay-Ki-Oh!

  37. Tei says:

    Tesla turrets!

  38. Finn says:

    @Mario Figueiredo: que vergonha pá!

    I’ve been having a ton of fun lately, put my soldier aside and started playing more as a medic, TF2 just seems to get better and better, even if they nerfed pyros. *sadface*

  39. Azazel says:

    Remote drone plz.

  40. Uglycat says:

    The engie doesn’t need any wrench update as they always crit me everytime.

    Srsly, spies need moar love.

  41. Sulkdodds says:

    You guys…what if the recent bug that allowed people to build infinite turrets…WASN’T A BUG?

    • itsallcrap says:

      Nah, they wouldn’t do that. Would just wreck the game.

  42. Tei says:

    What about a “Inviso Hoover” that make you invisible *wen no one is looking at you* ?

  43. RedFred says:

    Okay I’ll hang out for a discount.

  44. itsallcrap says:

    I love playing engie, so I’m looking forward to seeing what they come up with.

    On the other hand, I’m very much not looking forward to going back to the way things were before any class updates had come out, where at least four people would decide to go engie EVEN IF YOUR TEAM WAS ON OFFENCE.

    Do the right thing, folks – pick the class your team actually needs more of.

  45. Tei says:

    What about a jelly cube that eat people?
    That will totally be a surprise for these ninja scout & spy guys.

  46. mytwocentshere says:

    backpack sentry like a mech dude thing would be cool but personally id be happy with a bucket of paint to dump on the floor to spot spy footprints….

    • itsallcrap says:

      Hey, that’s a great idea.

      Or something anti-spy, anyway. It’s distinctly unfair that you can backstab an engie STANDING NEXT TO HIS SENTRY and then still get a sapper on there before it blasts you. What chance does that give to the class that has to spend half his time looking directly at the building he’s hitting with a wrench?

  47. Legionaryu says:

    Stop! HAMMER time!

    The new close combat weapon is the hammer.

  48. andrew says:

    “even in the face of our great despair about what the morrow may bring for the UK”

    People don’t come here for incisive left wing political commentary they come here for games journalism, so how about you have the good grace to keep your political view to yourself?

    People like you love to crow about democracy until people vote conservative and then suddenly they’re all morons. Hypocrisy from lefties? QUELLE SURPRISE!!!

    • Rinox says:

      At first I was like:

      “so how about you have the good grace to keep your political view to yourself?”

      But then I was like:

      “Hypocrisy from lefties? QUELLE SURPRISE!!!”

      No AIM internet politics discussion in our TF2 awesomeness threads plz.

    • itsallcrap says:

      Actually, I’m quite interested to know what they meant by that.

      Could be fear of a conservative government, but could also be fear of a crippled patchwork-quilt of a government.

      And anyway, frickin’ relax, man. It’s only a blog.

    • Hobbes says:

      I think they can write what they like.

      You seem to be arguing that no negative or positive opinion on any election is legitimate, because it’s a separate moral judgement from the correctness of democracy. If so, the only thing anyone could then say would be “in this election, the electorate voted, hooray” which is a bit of a tautology.

      Of course in a democracy people have individual & party preferences, and feel strongly for them, whether or not the electorate are morons, and whether or not democracy itself is effective*. Despite your implication that righties don’t “crow” about democracy, I think acknowledging democratic choice is perfectly compatible with caring about the government we all live under, and that’s something everyone except the BNP accepts.

      *FPTP facepalm, etc.

    • TeeJay says:

      @ andrew

      “so how about you have the good grace to keep your political view to yourself?”

      This isn’t your blog. You probably don’t even pay for it via a subscripion. If you don’t like it then don’t read it. Simple.

      Personally I like the fact that this site belongs to four specific individuals who have their own personal opinions about things, not some faceless corporation. People who are just guests here are allowed to make political comments so why shouldn’t the people who actually *own* this site make political comments?

      Or are you some kind of crypto-communist who doesn’t believe in ownership?

  49. MajorManiac says:

    Has anyone played Evil Genius?

    I’d love it if the Engineer could build Traps/Switches like the ones in that game. They are mostly useless, but very funny to watch. Would also add a great RTS element to each map.