Eurogamer Retro: Max Payne

This is the only facial expression Kieron's capable of, too.

Max Payne zooms back into our consciousnesses with the appearance of Alan Wake. But stupid stinky Alan Wake is only on 360, and Max Payne is still available for the PC. Does it hold up nearly a decade on? I attempt to answer that question, and also to mock the hilarious writing for as long as I can bear. It begins:

“The third-person shooter had been our first dance with Bullet Time. Sure, we’ve all been to bed with the gimmick now, but this was the first flirtation. For reasons unknown, Payne could enter a slow-motion world like a hand enters an oven glove. It doesn’t stay forever, but it can handle a lot more heat when it’s there. Able to react in real-time, it allowed Max to demonstrate his super-reflexes, filling enemies with bullets like he was making bullet pie with a human crust.”

You can read the rest here.


  1. Ian says:

    I never fell in love with Max Payne as most people seemed to and I could never really fathom why because when I gave up on several different playthroughs there was no special reason. I just sort of drifted into playing something else.

  2. diebroken says:

    Classic game – the storyboard cutscenes are great. Max Payne 2 is also one of the best game sequels. :)

  3. FunnyB says:

    Will we get to see a retrospective of Max Payne 2 as well?

  4. Pema says:

    Dont Max Payne games look weird in widescreen monitors?

    • abhishek says:

      They do. In a moment of madness, the developers hardcoded the aspect ratio of the games to 4:3. Which means that there is nothing you can ever do to play the games properly in widescreen aspect ratios like 16:9 or 16:10. Widescreen users are left with 2 options… either play with 2 ugly black bars on both sides of the screen, or play fullscreen with Max looking like a fatso :(

      I got the Max Payne pack off Steam last year, just for the sake of nostalgia. I somehow played through the first one as Max ‘Fat Albert’ Payne but I just couldn’t bring myself to play the second one like that. That would involve playing the Mona section looking like a pregnant woman with a sniper rifle.

    • Walsh says:

      That oddly enough reminded me, the most memorable thing from Max Payne 2 was seeing how long I could slow mo juggle bad guys with Mona’s sniper rifle. Shoot em in the leg, they’d go flying then pumping as many bullets as you could put into them. I would play through all of her levels like that.

  5. Risingson says:

    There just something about Max Payne that I really admire: as the main character goes deeper and deeper into an uncontrollable spiral of madness and violence, the gameplay itself turns out more mad and more violent, ending in a surrealistic fight against an helicopter.

    It is quite an artistic achievement. I love it.

    • LionsPhil says:

      Hell yes; Max Payne is a glorious example of puzzle boss fights that are actually fun. I love how the second game makes use of physics during the finale.

      Heck, the second game has a lot of nice little physical touches. There’s one point in the building site where there’s a gaping open elevator shaft, and the only entrance to an isolated room opposite, containing ammo and painkillers. There’s a plank propping out over the shaft, counterbalanced by some cans of paint or something.

      Knock the paint during the fighting, and the plank will tumble, rendering the room inaccesable. Run to the end of the plank, and Max’s weight will betray him. And when you jump back out of the room, you’ve got to be fast because the landing on the plank will likely jostle the cans and tip the whole affair downwards too. They actually made a simple one-off seesaw really quite interesting “bonus area” in gameplay terms.

  6. jarvoll says:

    How can you not love the writing? Sure it’s crap, but IT”S SO MELODRAMATIC I’D RATHER BE BURNED ALIVE THAN STOP EXPERIENCING IT.

    Plus, the dream-sequences were the *bomb*.

    • sinister agent says:

      Agreed about the writing. The ridiculously silly, totally sincere metaphors were half the fun as far as I was concerned, and the only reason I really bothered to pay attention to the plot.

      The dreams were awful, though.

  7. Jimbo says:

    This was a super. Good job, Walker!

    Now get out.

  8. nobody says:

    Don’t miss some of the excellent mods (Max Payne Kung Fu 3.0, Katana, Hall of Mirrors etc.)

  9. Raum says:

    Isn’t it fairly obvious that the writing is tongue-in-cheek?

    Not to mention, the Max Payne vs Matrix slow-mo has been discussed endlessly before. Max Payne was a much longer production, and arguably had bullet-time integrated into the design before The Matrix had.

    It’s been a long time since I played Max Payne, but I’m probably never going to replay it. I haven’t played the second one, though. Is it worth playing through?

    • Chris says:

      Yes. Well, if you enjoyed the first one. More of the same, but slightly more varied, and a slightly less constipated expression.

    • Man Raised By Puffins says:

      I prefer the first, but yeah the second is well worth playing as it refines the bullet time mechanics quite nicely. Also, PHYSICS.

    • Sobric says:

      Interesting note: Hitman Codename 47 (released 2000), introduced slow-mo in an early patch, well before Max Payne’s release. While it was obviously a side-addition inspired by the Matrix, it might still steal Max Payne’s crown for “inventing” bullet-time in games.

    • Robert says:

      Well, depending on whether it was a last-minute addition to Max Payne of course. Games don’t grow out of backyards in a day.

    • Sobric says:

      @ Robert

      Yeah, should say not really “invent” but just be the first game to have it. It’s only important for Wikipedia lists and those who begin sentences “Well, actually…”. Like me.

      Max Payne made it part of the core mechanics, popularized it and made it work.

    • NateN says:

      @Sobric: However, the Hitman game was rather.. odd.. in slow mo. The only way I can thing to describe it is that the physics were extremely amplified on the ragdolls and props. You’d shoot a guy and he’d go flying across the room instead of a few feet. (Turning slow mo on would also always make your tie go flying up into the air if you were strafing sideways, as if it was going to slap you in the face. Odd the things you remember…)

      I assume force was not correctly scaled with time, but it was odd to shoot the guy in the first mission and watch him go pinwheeling out from under the pavilion.

    • Veracity says:

      System Shock had bullet/matrix time in 1994, albeit as a consumable drug rather than a magic power. People associate the idea in video games most strongly with Max Payne, though, regardless of where else it’d been done – you can probably find examples further back if you’re looking for them.

    • Raum says:

      You’re talking about slow-mo, though?

  10. AndrewC says:

    The writing caused me wincing pain, and I really tried to enjoy its ridiculousness. For me, it was the clangingly over-written pablum of humourless males, without any irony in sight. It made Frank Miller sound like Oscar Wilde.

    And that the writing in Alan Wake appears to be exactly the same only seems to prove that Payne’s writing wasn’t a deliberately turgid mush of hard-boiled atrocities, but that they really think this style was serious, and good.

    And that’s a shame, as I quite like the sound of bears wanking.

    So yes, anyway: anyone who defends the writing in Max Payne is pimply teenage virgin who masturbates to pictures of his mum while weeping into his A-Team pillow, enjoys Xbox FPS’s, online activations and licking rat fur. This person will be a big thicko who couldn’t complete Braid because he was thick and is also smelly. All of this is true.

    • Risingson says:

      I see more subcultural homage in Max Payne (hard boiled, *real* pulp fiction, I’ll spit on your grave, and so on) than you percieved. It’s much more careful than you have noticed. So you just have shown you have no background to have an opinion on this. Sorry. You lose.

    • AndrewC says:

      Are you trying to play cultural-references top trumps with me? What a strange fellow. You must be the sort of person who likes Max Payne’s writing.

    • Risingson says:

      No, I have a lot of hipster friends, in real life and in facebook. You are the freak here.

      Risingson, bringing aleatory cool references to win discussions since he found it worked

    • AndrewC says:

      Unnecessarily polysyllabic verbiage = -2 Internet Points. Your victory is barmecidal.

    • Jesse says:

      AndrewC: way to go out of your way to be a moron and a dick.

    • AndrewC says:

      Max Payne is rubbish.

    • Vitamin Powered says:

      Dear Mr AndrewC

      Screw you and your mum man!

      You only wish you were 1/100th the man Max Payne is! It takes a real man to handle the murder of your wife and child as awesomely as he did! It’s only through the writing and poetry of the game that we understand the inner angst and guilt that he must bear, and the plot of the game is true artistic masterpiece that shows games’ true potential.

      No love,

    • LionsPhil says:

      Goddamit, RPS, you’re classier gentlemen than this. Taking AndrewC’s rant deadpan-seriously is as blind as taking Max’s dialogue at face value.

    • Raum says:

      Well, anyone who dislikes the writing has a small penis.


  11. lanster27 says:

    Let’s hope number 3 is at least on par with 1 and 2.

  12. Thants says:

    You’re all crazy, the writing is great. If you can’t appreciate fantastic, intentionally over the top noir dialogue it’s your own fault.

  13. teo says:

    First one is alright (was amazing at the time) but the second one is much better. Much more refined gameplay and more interesting and well developed characters

    • Zwebbie says:

      Agreed! The only thing I think was better in the original was that it had a more focused and clear storyline. MP2 is better in any other area, though, and it’s one of my favourite games of all time.

  14. kyrieee says:

    Nice article, it’s the type of thing I would’ve expected in PC Gamer a few years back.

    “Max Payne: [narrating] The past is a puzzle, like a broken mirror. As you peice it together, your image keeps shifting. And you change with it. It could destroy you, drive you mad. It could set you free.”

    “Dick Justice: [narrating] The rain was comin’ down like all the angels in heaven decided to take a piss at the same time. When you’re in a situation like mine, you can only think in metaphors.”

  15. cqdemal says:

    I finished Max Payne at least 11 times (including one stupid marathon session in which I ran through it three times in a row at a friend’s place) and did something similar with the sequel. Loveliest retrospective article on EG by far.

  16. Wilson says:

    Hehe, good article. Max Payne was pretty cool. I might just load it up and try some of the mods out.

  17. Rinox says:

    How can anyone not love a game (or writing) that begins with the words:

    They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point.


    • boldoran says:

      I liked the writing too but that may very well be because english is not my first language so it wasn’t too over the top for me.

  18. Nehacoo says:

    I always thought the writing was tongue in cheek. Doesn’t anyone remember the in-game tv shows? Sometimes they seemed to be parodying the game itself.

  19. noggin says:

    Excellent timing for this article as far as I’m concerned: I bought Max Payne last week and finished it last night.
    The dream sequences are indeed the bomb (except the last maze which is just annoying), plus I enjoyed the fact that most of the characters in the cutscenes looked about 10 years too young to be convincing. At least they were having fun eh?!

    • LionsPhil says:

      The graphic novel parts of the first game suffered pretty badly from the actors being (AFAIK) the devs, and they apparently couldn’t help but to gurn with silly glee. In particular, the bit where Max and Mona are pulling guns on eachother, their smiles are far too friendly.

      I might lose Angry Internet Man points for saying it, but the change (CHAAAAANGE!) to a different actor for Max in the sequel was a good one.

  20. eide says:

    I released my finger from the trigger.

    And then it was over.

  21. Manfromtheweb says:

    I really, really liked Max Payne when it first came out, when I was still young and impressionable.

    I remember it as a great deviation (at first) from the typical shooter of the day, having the player be a regular cop (or DEA agent, but still). The early levels that were set in the New York street locales were also something fresh from the grey corridors and factories that were commonplace in the day.

    And I liked the writing, it’s as much a parody as it is an homage. If you didn’t like it, you probably took it too seriously, as some people seem to do. On the other hand, I don’t know whether it was intented to be taken seriously.

    Also, I have subconsciously forgiven a lot of the games faults simply because it was a hallmark game in the Finnish game industry. As a Finnish, that counts for something.

  22. Moni says:

    Something I found frustrating about the game was the abundance of doors that aren’t doors. I would run down a corridor and try to ‘use’ the wall textures. Like chasing a rabbit down a hole that wasn’t there. The level designers’ cackling, ringing in my head, in the form of the clunking doorknob turning sound.

    Excellent strained metaphors, Mr. Walker.

    • LionsPhil says:

      IIRC, once you hit the levels where there are REALLY a lot of doors, you’re into the office complex of the skyscraper, and they’ve put colour-coded cardlocks next to each door. If it’s not green, don’t bother. Not exactly subtle, but better than unrealistically few offices, flow-breaking empty rooms, or going around humping everything with hinges. (“Use”? Doors open on contact. Ideally, diving headfirst into them—at which point Max faceplants and slides down the front because that one was locked.)

      Dang. I’ve just remembered the data projector and laptop in a conference room somewhere in there. You can use the laptop to advance the slides, and shoot either to make things go wrong. It’s the kind of little interactive touches that Duke Nukem 3D did.

  23. Tomis says:

    I actually bought the Max Payne bundle from Steam a week or two ago and it felt great to replay the game. Say what you will about it but if you loved a game at its release then you’ll still love it ten years after, doesn’t matter how “old” or “unoriginal” it feels to those eurogamer brats.

    I actually wrote about it on my blog too, last week. You should try the mods. Fantastic game.

  24. Vandelay says:

    One of my favourite games of all time. The dialogue is so insanely over the top it is wonderful. I don’t care whether it was intentionally bad or the writer was taking himself seriously, but it really has me laughing at every graphic novel page (as someone else said, the parodies on the TVs indicate that you probably aren’t meant to be taking it seriously – another Twin Peaks reference and anything that nods to David Lynch can’t be bad in my book.)

    But even with this absurd dialogue, it managed to create a world that was actually haunting and powerful. The dream sequences were deeply unsettling and unlike anything I had seen in a computer game at the time (the moment you notice the toy blocks floating gently in the air during one of the dream sequences was a beautifully subtle moment.) And the action itself was fantastic and I’ve not seen any third person game really capture the fluidity of movement and control you have over Max.

    They some how managed to top all this with the sequel.

    • Jesse says:

      The way the several, hilarious television shows interweave with and comment on the plot of Max Payne 2 is brilliant and, as far as I’m concerned, only further proof that the people responsible for plotting and writing it are better and more ambitious than anyone else in the industry. It’s never been topped – except maybe by GladOS in Portal, but that was a much shorter and comparatively simpler game. If you can’t appreciate Max Payne 2 you’re a fool.

      “I was going to give Vlad his gun back. One bullet at a time.”

    • AndrewC says:

      Bullets aren’t part of the gun, so shooting all the bullets in the world at Vlad from it isn’t going to give him his gun back. The sentence does not make sense, so unless the point of the sentence is to demonstrate that Max Payne is a cretin, it is a bad line.

      In my opinion.

    • Rinox says:

      Dude, Andrew, lighten up. :-D You’re like one of my friends who dismisses the entertainment value of films like Clash of the Titans “because they’re dumb”. Yes, they’re dumb. No, they don’t add anything to the aesthetical continuum. But that doesn’t mean they’re not enjoyable. Similarly, Max Payne is cooler than cool – and about as silly as the Film Noir detectives of the olden days. If you don’t ‘feel’ the weird balance of overbearing drama, coolness and serious tongue-in-cheekness of the MP writing then that’s too bad, but don’t keep piling up the hate man. :-)

    • AndrewC says:

      Because your friends don’t like Clash Of The Titans, my opinion on Max Payne is incorrect? We’re into some wookie-defence style logic here.

      So I’ll stop (like a car meeting a wall at 80 miles per hour on a dark road in the freezing rain with the sprayed blood spelling out a fractured…etc), and say instead that we have very different ideas of what ‘cool’ is, and that Sam Worthington is NO Harry Hamlin. Which is to say I much prefer the bright-eyed, faintly fruity Harryhausen Titans to the furrow-browed, grim’n’gritty histrionics of the new Titans.

      Also that the old Titans had tits.

    • cdm says:

      Andrew C, I’m pretty certain you are a troll (that’s a metaphor).

  25. Karthik says:

    Five words: Kung Fu Mod

    • LionsPhil says:

      Kung Fu Mod. Using guns. Ugh. Facepalm.

      The correct use of that mod is to do an all-melee playthrough; it’s fun times. Dealing with shotgun users is particularly entertaining—the fight where you corner Vinnie is particularly tough and requires you to evade like a maniac, making good use wallruns and such. (Using projectile weapons is only permissable when unavoidable, like the ending; thrown items at your discretion.)

  26. Clovis says:

    I remember playing sequences of Max Payne over and over and over again, just to see what would happen. About the only time I’ve played third person and didn’t constantly wish the game was first person. The second one was even better.

    Max Payne 2 also had this mode where it just spammed enemies at you on a set level. That was a lot of fun too. Just constantly flying through the air and spraying an increasing mob of dudes with bullets and grenades. Hmm… now I want to play L4D as Max Payne …

    I actually got Max Payne 2 for like $10 only a few months after it came out. I think it was the only time I felt bad about getting a game for cheap. That game shoulda’ been full price for at least a year.

  27. kyrieee says:

    What’s this nonsense about headshots not counting for anything though? Headshots kill much faster

  28. manintheshack says:

    That metaphor really doesn’t stand up for those of us who like to wear our oven gloves all day long. And type with our teeth.

  29. bill says:

    @Raum (becuse reply won’t work).

    I know Requiem – Avenging Angel had bullet-time. I’m pretty sure that was before Max Payne by a while… but can’t be bothered to look it up.

    While the Matrix took bullet time all hi-tech… it’s basically been in John Woo movies since the 80s.

    I loved max payne. Happy times.

    • Raum says:

      Didn’t Woo just do slow-mo?

      I mean, the whole idea of bullet-time was slowing down to the point that time seemed to have stopped, and then move the camera around, wasn’t it?

      In any case, I just found out 3DRealms was the owner of the term until they sold it to Fox, so I’d say that’s pretty much proves that Max Payne was the originator of the term. What it actually entails is still a bit fuzzy, though, to be honest.

  30. the wiseass says:

    “bullet pie with a human crust”… like, really?

    • Heliocentric says:

      Pie is delicious. Especially fmj pie in sinister henchman pastry.

  31. Stense says:

    Mirrors are more fun than T.V.

  32. Mario Figueiredo says:

    Nice writing John. I had to smile at the metaphoric abuse. Very John Woo and, of course, whole Max Payne.

    It made me remember how much I enjoyed Max Payne back then (which isn’t that long. Just 9 years ago). The game was very effective in bringing to the player a film noir atmosphere. Something that had fallen out of use in the movie industry, but was surprisingly effective in video game form. Max was a very convincing fall guy and the whole narrative masterfully constructed in order to keep to the general tone of the game. Many of the cut scenes also brilliantly brought back the noir comics style, furthering the effect.

    It was the type of nonsense that made all the sense. And probably still does today as we are in dire need of stepping back a little and look into other forms of art in search of new inspiration for our action games.

  33. VelvetFistIronGlove says:

    John, your argument doesn’t stand up. Your claim that Max Payne’s writing was “absolutely horrendous” has only a single actual quotation as the exclamation point to all your clumsy pastiche that came before. You have only succeeded in demonstrating that you can’t write well in the same style.

    • sebmojo says:

      Regrettable but true, it’s not your best work. Max Payne writing is all about the tortured obsessively drawn out metaphors.


      It’s quite a precise register – not so much teetering on the edge of parody as leaning out and laughing wildly. Dick Justice (DICK! JUSTICE!!!) in the sequel does the best job of taking the piss out of it.

  34. LionsPhil says:

    Ah, Max Payne. Glorious cheesenoir (the straight-up delivery of that writing makes it all worthwhile), silky-smooth gameplay (so it still stands up now the gimmick is old), and some pretty damn nice texture work. And, rarity of rarities, a sequel which was actually better!

  35. airtekh says:

    I must confess I quite liked the writing in Max Payne. Sure it’s cheesy cliche-noir, but it suits the game so well and it’s delivered and presented beautifully.

    There are modern games that put in lot less effort than Max Payne and don’t get criticised nearly enough for doing so.

  36. Walsh says:

    I could’ve sworn headshots killed in one hit? Maybe I’m confusing Max Payne 1 with 2.

    Anyway, it takes real talent to write in that intentionally cheesy noir style. It’s like John Walker never heard of pulp detective stories.

    I like how in the second one if you were quick enough you could save a character from certain death and they would show up later in the game to mess with you.

    • Heliocentric says:

      You could also kill him and max would comment on knowing he was trouble.

    • LionsPhil says:

      “I like how in the second one if you were quick enough you could save a character from certain death and they would show up later in the game to mess with you.”

      …really? Who? I think I missed this.

      I know about saving somebody by playing through on the hardest difficulty, but that stupid unlocking system usually means I don’t want to replay the game N times in a row or shunt about savegames from old machines enough to ever reach it.

    • Heliocentric says:

      Max payne 2, the russian crime boss’s friend.

    • LionsPhil says:

      Ah, the one who works with you for a while while you’re clearing out the club? Definately kept him alive before; must have just forgotten about it.

    • brkl says:

      I definitely spent a lot of time trying to get a roomful of guys all with a single shot to the head with a desert eagle.

  37. Walsh says:

    Also I’m fond of it for being one of the first games that attempted to create realistic looking bullet holes. The texture would look appropriate to the surface, ie. if you hit bathroom tile, it would look chipped and cracked vs a generic bullet hole texture on top of tile texture.

  38. drewski says:

    The writing was awful, but awfully entertaining. As a massive fan of the noir genre, I appreciated the homage even if it was more frequently a pastiche.

    The gameplay was awesome at the time – I remember finding the third person perspective utterly disorienting to begin with, but I had to get the hang of it – diving around a corner with twin guns blazing, lighting up three baddies in the pouring rain…it was everything I wanted from video games.

    I think John is more than aware of what Max Payne is trying to be written like – I know I am – but that doesn’t mean it’s done well. Whether it’s OTT-ness is deliberate or not isn’t really the point – the point is that it’s awful. But that’s just part of the charm.

  39. oceanclub says:

    MP1 was great, but the additional of physics really made MP2. Watching objects flying in all directions in slo-mo was a revelation at the time; I still get a kick out of throwing a grenade right in the back of a van as it reversed up to disgorge some baddies and watch them pinwheel out through the door. It managed to me more John Woo than an actual John Woo game (Strangehold was a pale imitation unfortunately.)

    *Fires up Steam to reinstall it for umpteeth time*


  40. Urthman says:

    Walker! The writing in the first part of that review is absolutely horrendous! It’s just plain bad.

    There. I’ve managed to miss the point in exactly the same Walker did.

    Sir, you are trying to parody a parody. Maybe you don’t think it’s as funny as I did, but don’t pretend it’s supposed to be taken seriously and then complain about how bad it is.

  41. Tom OBedlam says:

    Aww now see, I loved the writing in Max Payne. Ever since the Big Sleep, hard boiled detective fiction has always been really oblique metaphors and to the point narration. Some of the best examples are from Chandler himself, “Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.” and, for money, the best opening paragraph in all detective fiction “”I was wearing my powder-blue suit… I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn’t care who knew it. I was everything the well-dressed private detective ought to be. I was calling on four million dollars”

  42. iggy says:

    Max Payne is one of my favorite games of all time. Here’s why.

    Headshots do matter. If you hit them right between the eyes, even the Beretta kills anyone but a boss in one shot. Perhaps notably they also matter on Max. Max is barely any tougher than his enemies. Instead of relying on armor or a technobabble shield, he survives because the player is a better and faster shot than his enemies, and the element of surprise.

    The writing is excellent. They picked a fun, appropriate style and stuck with it through the entire game. The game is wonderfully quotable.

    Fun ways to play through not including mods: sawn-off shotgun only, single beretta only, no bullet-time, speed-running on New York Minute mode.

    Sadly the game is quite short, offering only a couple hours for an experienced player.

    Other lovely features more games should learn from:
    -Bullets are not hitscans, or whatever its called when the combat is like lasertag instead of paintball. (projectile moving at the speed of light versus speed of bullet)
    -Keeping two quicksaves and an auto-save.
    -Interactive environment. Try shooting water coolers, piles of money, etc. You can also turn on sinks and such.

    Anyway, that’s my rant in response to the article.

    • Walsh says:

      My gut says this game started the trend of treating bullets like actual objects, breaking from the Quake/UT hitscan line of thinking.

  43. Zach Marx says:

    Outside, rain made corpses grow from bullet seeds.

  44. Dreamhacker says:

    I really liked the writing in the game, serious or not. I can see how someone who has been overexposed to pulp fiction/hard boiled would detest it, but I haven’t really read anything similar.

  45. PetitPrince says:

    There’s not enough Max Payne Kung Fu Edition 3.0 love. It is amazing how Kung-fu could blend so well in the campaign.

  46. yourgrandma says:

    Max Payne 1&2 will always be awesome. I still play them and thier mods all the time.

  47. Navagon says:

    Alan Wake has appeared? Can’t say I noticed. :P

    But yes, that aside, the Max Payne games were, and still are, amazing. I just completed both recently thanks to that momentary Steam deal.

  48. Ed says:

    The flamingo speaks again, it says “The flesh of fallen angels.”

    I have no idea what that means.

  49. malkav11 says:

    I loved the writing in Max Payne, but I cringe at the way every games writer ever has to have a crack at emulating its style when writing about the game.

  50. Vitamin Powered says:

    There was a moment in one of them (maaaaybe the first?) where you could crawl along a ledge to a hidden room where somebody had staked someone through the heart, impaling them onto the floor. I think there was a Buffy reference in there as well somewhere.

    • Vitamin Powered says:

      Yup, it was the first one.

      Video here: link to

    • Urthman says:

      Yeah, I hate it when you drive a stake through a dude’s heart because you think he’s a vampire and then he doesn’t crumble to dust and you’re all like, “oops, my bad. Sorry, dude.”