Optimus Primed: Rig’n’Roll

Oh yes. I have review code for Rig’n’Roll, “the ultimate truck driving experience.” This name and that statement alone were enough to ensure I was going to try this anyway, but the promise on the back of the box that it has an “exciting story with an unexpected finale” has pushed my intruigometer to maximum. Unexpected how? Turns out the driver’s in a coma, imagining driving a truck? Or it’s not a truck at all, but a sentient crustacean in truck form? Or it turns out the truck was in purgatory, waiting to be reunited with the people it loves the most? Nah, no-one’d write something that silly. It’ll be a short while before I can fire this rare beauty up, but in the meantime let’s look at some videos. RAWK videos.

So that’s the noisy one, but this is the one which really pleases me. It nails the strange blend of purpose and distracted aimlessness that I can only imagine results from driving a lorry day in, day out. Then, all of a sudden, the bouffant-haired trucker apparently visits the bar from True Blood to chat up waitresses and pick up work. Later, he suffers one of the most humiliating arrests I’ve ever seen. All in Russian, alas, but I do have the English version here. Waiting for me, Gordon. In the test chamber.

Stalker with lorries? Oh, I do hope so.

Over 1200 miles of road, apparently, and 40 Californian cities. It is nothing if not exhaustive. Also, the version I tried at 1C’s pre-E3 event in Prague yesterday featured a truck which looked just like Optimus Prime. That’s all it takes to win my affections, if I’m honest.

Rig’n’Roll is available from various digital distribution channels now. I hope to bring you some hands-on road trips from it soon.


  1. Mathew Jensterle says:

    I did like the google ads on the video. “Have you been injured in a crash?” indeed.

  2. Sizematters says:

    Yeah great graphics. The true power of pc gaming!

    • ulix says:


      Because for a game in this genre, the graphics (especially the effects) really are great. Very great indeed.

  3. Nick says:

    I wonder if it’ll have a Roadgames plot.. or Duel maybe.. or best of all: Over the Top.

    That would be so great.

  4. Mr_Day says:

    I’d take the piss out of the pointless nature of the game, but to be honest that is pretty much what I have been doing whilst playing Privateer recently.

    Though on the plus side, I do have guns.

  5. Hippo says:

    Here’s a piece of advice for you: Save often!

  6. Will Tomas says:

    Obligatory post of…

  7. Batolemaeus says:

    I am in awe of that title.

  8. geldonyetich says:

    Getting pulled over for going 15 MPH over the speed limit on a freeway, or traveling through a downtown Californian town without encountering a 5 hour traffic jam, both seem to reflect a certain lack of understanding of American traffic.

    • MWoody says:

      I’ve been pulled for 11 over (I know because I set the cruise control there, then didn’t notice a sudden 10mph limit drop – fucking Texas). I know people pulled for 9 and 7. Speed traps suck.

      Though it is considerably less likely for a truck. Cops, I’ve been told, hate the extra paperwork for pulling over a commercial trucker, and so they almost have to be in the midst of driving through a daycare to get a ticket.

    • Vinraith says:


      People get pulled over for 10-15 mph infractions all the time. Anything 15+ requires a court date in most states, so the best way to make money off fines is to nail people in the low teens.

    • geldonyetich says:

      People get pulled over for 10-15 mph infractions all the time. Anything 15+ requires a court date in most states

      I’ve been pulled for 11 over […] Though it is considerably less likely for a truck.

      Exaggeration humor is a lost art, it seems.

      I’m not even sure they were speeding by 15 over. The “70” at the top could have represented KPH. (Which would explain the 50s when they were traveling through a town.)

  9. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Generic RAWK in your youtube trailer? Why, if only there was some way to fix that…

    • Rosti says:

      @Man Raised By Puffins: You Are My Comment Hero.

    • RogB says:

      spectacular choice, bravo sir!

    • Man Raised By Puffins says:

      Well not exactly my choice, it was Psychopomp’s accompaniment of choice for one of the terrible Dragon Age trailers. I’m just driving (hur hur) the idea into the ground.

    • Wisq says:

      Why is it that everyone times their trailer to almost perfectly match that particular famous TV theme, yet uses some other garbage tune instead? Maybe they just can’t buy the rights …

  10. postmanX3 says:

    “Or it turns out the truck was in purgatory, waiting to be reunited with the people it loves the most? Nah, no-one’d write something that silly.”

    I chuckled. Quite a lot.

  11. Lacunaa says:

    Yeah, that was a nice one.

  12. dave says:

    Honestly what the fuck!?!?

  13. Kelron says:

    I am filled with overwhelming desire to play this.

  14. WiPa says:

    “Or it’s not a truck at all, but a sentient crustacean in truck form?”

    I lol’d so hard at this.

  15. Wendelius says:

    I just hope that wasn’t a not very subtle and inconsiderate spoiler for the end of a well known series That not everyone in the world has had time to watch just yet.


    • HarbourMaster says:

      Yeah, don’t you go spoiling the end of 24, dammit.

    • Tom OBedlam says:

      It turns out that after the plane crashed Shepherd died but a shadowy terrorist organisation resurrected him to save the planet from the others who are abducting people en mass

    • geldonyetich says:

      It turns out that after the plane crashed Shepherd died but a shadowy terrorist organisation resurrected him to save the planet from the others who are abducting people en mass

      It’s an interesting fake spoiler that is actually better than the reality.

      Granted, even having it all turn out to be phantoms of gastrointestinal distress resulting in a micro-verse that existed for 5 seconds when the protagonist broke wind would have been better than the reality.

    • Brumisator says:

      Trucks don’t have spoilers

    • westyfield says:

      Because the pub is heaven, Gene Hunt is like Saint Peter and Keats is the devil.

  16. Dr Lulz says:

    This looks great and all, but for me, Big Rigs Over the Road racing has this beaten. Hands down.

    link to youtube.com


  17. Javier-de-Ass says:

    love this game. it’s currently 50% off at gamersgate– link to gamersgate.com

    • Kelron says:

      Complete with lovely Starforce. I’ll pass.

    • Sarlix says:

      I can’t understand why Woodcutter Simulator didn’t make the cut.

      link to gamersgate.co.uk

    • Javier-de-Ass says:

      keep in mind kelron, it’s not old style kill your system starforce. it’s the one which works the same as the securom gamersgate uses. with online activation.

  18. FernandoDante says:

    Curse you. Lost is AWESOME.

  19. bansama says:

    Rig N Roll is ok as truck sims go. When it comes to delivering the cargo at the warehouses there’s no having to back into loading bays or specific points in a lot (as per Euro Truck Sim and most of the 18 Wheels series). You simply arrive near the warehouse and the game takes over driving you into the warehouse where robotic arms will whisk your load away (either upwards or downwards).

    So if the need to reverse into specific parking areas was putting you off of the 18 Wheels series, etc., you might want to consider giving this one a go as a introduction into the genre. Or you could try 18 Wheels of Steel Extreme Trucker, which is another good introduction into the genre. Again, there’s no need to reverse into specific areas, but it does have some nice touches, such as the possibility of falling through the ice =)

    That’s also 50% off on GamersGate and is DRM Free.

    • Daniel Klein says:

      This is… this is a joke, right? I mean, this whole article, this thread, we’re all playing along, right? I’m sorry to spoil the massive roleplaying event here but I… I have doubts. So I’ll ask.

      No one is actually playing these, right? And by no one I mean the same people who play Deer Hunter games. No one we’d recognize as a fellow member of the species.

      If this is a massive joke we’re all playing along, I have nothing to say but Kudos, people, Kudos. Backing into loading bays, hah! How I miss that! Yeah!

      Uh. This better be a joke.

    • Javier-de-Ass says:

      why would it be a joke? go back to your steam console computer. these are pc games

      I don’t agree with you bansama that rignroll is a entrylevel trucking game. the overall world and road system is far above anything from any of the 18wos or other scs games. they definitely did arcade up the driving part though I agree. and the physics really need an upgrade, especially for backing up with a trailer and that. so for now you do not have to do this in the game at all. but hopefully they’ll do something more comprehensive in that direction for the las vegas expansion. it would be nice to have to take a bit more care and have to focus on details of driving aswell.

  20. Sigma Draconis says:

    It’s no Big Rigs.

  21. Esc7 says:

    CALIFORNIA??? I almost want to play it and see how accurate it is. I literally drove over the bridge at the bottom of this page 20 minutes ago:

    link to rignroll.com

    It’s pretty hilarious how they talk up Bakersfield, or really any of the the tiny boondock towns that feature prominently on our highways.

  22. futage says:

    Embedding a 1080p video at 560×340 is a bit dumb and made my netbook cry.

  23. Griddle Octopus says:

    “sentient crustacean in truck form” – are you referring to UFO Aftermath’s awesome Car Crabs?

  24. Daniel Klein says:

    I can practically taste the mind numbing boredom. Scrumptious!

  25. Magic H8 Ball says:

    Should be outsourced to Japan. They’d make it more interesting – it would be like Oregon Trail. Except with less dying of Cholera and more raping and murdering little girls.

    • Javier-de-Ass says:

      the story/dialogue is decidedly in russian insanityland. no need for japan

  26. Son_of_Montfort says:

    Rig n’ Roll – Tentacle Porn Edition?

    I can’t lie, I’m intrigued by these games for some odd reason, despite my dislike of driving. I have heard that RnR is a bit too “arcade and race game” for most true-to-lifers. But all of it is on sale at Gamersgate, so maybe a ten-spot is worth seeing how well they modeled the roads of Indiana.

    • Javier-de-Ass says:

      yeah, it is more on the arcade side drivingwise. but you still kind of need a wheel for it. playing it on a keyboard is ok. but the gamepad/joystick analog options seem broken. the simulation part to the game is more about the overall world. there are some light tycoon elements aswell. absolutely hilarious story mode.

    • Son_of_Montfort says:


      Would you say Wheels of Steel is a better choice to merge the tycoon elements and the driving?


    • Javier-de-Ass says:

      if it has to be american stuff, I would say go with rignroll. scs made some great progress with the more recent german truck sim/ uk truck sim games though. but they still feel way too cramped, the game world and the map, it’s really small and feel like you’re driving through mostly the same tunnel througout, and there aren’t very many different intersections. it’s like in some games where you’ll see the same formation of assets over and over. the driving is a lot more detailed, but the scs games have weird physics quirks as well. but you will be able to do correct backing up with a trailer and that which rignroll fails a bit on (even though you’re never required to back up with a trailer in the game)

  27. rob75383 says:

    Am I the only one bored by this?
    What is next from here, the laundry simulator?
    Gripping action and drama, as you role-play a custom made character to flirt with typical sheeple at the local laundry, whilst you fold your socks! Gee, can’t wait…