“A Note From Aperture Science”

Valve have sent out a transmission announcing the cancellation of their E3 Portal 2 event, and its replacement with “a surprise”. As press invitations go, it’s an odd one. I’ve posted the text below…

Dear Subject Name Here,

Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word “surprise”, of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.

If you’d like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve’s Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.

Thank you for < RECORD SCRATCH!!! >

PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

But Portal 2 is still being shown at E3. So that’s good.


  1. Thermal Ions says:

    So was this a real actual event that was cancelled or an alternate reality event which an alternate reality RPS was invited to with the cancellation notice crossing realities when Lamar jumped onto the control panel during transmission.

    And to think this post actually started out as a genuine serious question.

  2. Moonracer says:

    I’m hoping it’s a new Left 4 Dead, just so I can see the “Get L4D3” adds/mock ups.

  3. Araxiel says:

    The surprise is a lie

  4. Zdrok says:

    LOLOLOLOL love the PS. That record scratch was rather surprising.

  5. AnnexOne says:

    That’s incredibly specific and I want to be on record as saying I’d love for you to be correct. :D