It’s The Extremely Important Survey!

If you’re as observant as you are handsome you will have noticed that we’re trying to get things sorted around here so we can rid ourselves of the current questionable advertising and get in shiny, relevant stuff. That hasn’t quite happened yet, and we need your help to make it so. I’ve made a lovely survey thing to gather the data we need about the RPS hordes, and I’d really appreciate any of you taking the time to fill it out. We’re hoping it’ll be the most comprehensive survey of a PC gaming crowd ever conducted, and it’ll help us making RPS stronger, so that it can strip to the waist and wrestle with other, lesser blogs in a battle to impress the ladies.

Help us, Internet reading people, you’re our only hope.


  1. Heliosicle says:

    Fairly sure that survey is broken, at least just for me, unless this is a joke?

    • Heliosicle says:

      oh and as soon as I post it fixes itself, stupid pooters!

  2. Hentzau says:

    Why is “RTS” the only option for people who like strategy games. Also Impulse is a curious omission from the list of DD services

    • RaveTurned says:

      I second both of these points. :(

    • snv says:

      i third them

    • KaputtChino says:

      I dunno the number, but I’m on!

    • The Great Wayne says:

      Voted other for Impulse too

    • Unaco says:

      There was an option for Turn Based Strategy… at least there was when I completed the Survey.

    • Carra says:

      Yeah, I also wondered about that.

      My favourite games are the non combat strategy types. Civilization, rollercoaster tycoon, anno 1404, the caesar series… Oh well, RTS it is.

    • Warduke says:


    • Lanster27 says:

      I pay impulse money, but it never let me download anything.

    • Fraser says:

      Civilization, at least, is turn-based strategy, which is one of the options. But it is odd that there’s no option for the wine-sipping intellectuals of the rarefied PC gamer class who prefer a less frantic-shooty strategy game.

    • tab says:


    • IMT says:

      Europa Universalis is a an RTS I guess

  3. Kid A says:

    I felt like checking “I am Kieron” when asked if Argo was wonky was the only real option. Otherwise, all accurately answered. Agree that the lack of Impulse on the DD platform list was odd, but I guess that’s what “Other” is for.

    • WTF says:

      Continual point of annoyance: The horse is called “Agro”, gadnabbit!

    • Tacroy says:

      And he wasn’t wonky!

    • The Great Wayne says:

      Actually maybe argo was wonky but agro wasn’t. This can all be a quiproquo !

    • Colthor says:

      Google Image Search suggests Shadow Of The Colossus is either a game where you play a midget, or one where you ride a horse injected with Miracle-Gro when it was a foal.

      So yeah, between that and PS2 graphics, pretty wonky.

    • Theory says:

      He’s a child, not a midget. Doy!

    • WTF says:

      @Colthor – What Theory said plus you’ve clearly never seen a horse up close – they are not small creatures…

    • Lacero says:

      This is me giggling at the idea of Colthor having never seen a horse

    • Kid A says:

      Argo comes off the… fingers? easier, okay.
      This would be less embarrassing if I hadn’t played SotC through 3 times.

    • Colthor says:


      Actually, I spent more on riding lessons than booze at university :p

      Although being a kid may be *some* excuse. Still a massive horse, though.

    • The Great Wayne says:

      link to

      This is actually the closest thing to medieval european steed we’ve left. As you can see, the proportions are somewhat comparable with Agro.

      Stop refering to your poney lessons as a valid example please :p

    • DrGonzo says:

      I thought they meant wonky, as in the controls were shit. Which they were.

    • Colthor says:

      @The Great Wayne:

      Wikipedia disagrees with you, saying medieval war horses were probably 15-16 hands tall (on the grounds of what the remaining armour is built for – you can see this in museums, the horses aren’t big – and because you have to be able to get on to them from the ground*); that horse is a 19h3in Shire. That’s bloody massive (from an article about the tallest horse in Britain, in fact), even for modern – ie. several hundred more years of selective breeding – Shire horses.

      * I’m 6’2″ and need a step to mount an 18h Shire**. Getting on something seven inches taller, from the ground, wearing twenty kilos of armour? Sounds fun.

      **Just pray it doesn’t kick, etc.

  4. Film11 says:


  5. P7uen says:

    No Wii!

  6. Gpig says:

    Counter-Strike 1.6 is the best multiplayer shooter. Just a heads up for anyone filling out the poll who might mistakenly put in Quake 3.

    I like the Unreal Tournament comedy option. Nice little chuckle.

    • Gabriel says:

      Yeah, that entire question was a joke. Otherwise they would include TF2

    • OptionalJoystick says:

      TF2 isn’t of the time, so of course it’s not on the list.
      And we all know UTClassic is the finest FPS there has ever been. DM_MORPHEUS, PEOPLE.

    • Aemony says:

      The Internet is a joke.

    • Jeremy says:

      Dude…. Morpheus.

    • Gpig says:


      Ah good point about TF2! I forgot about that one. I feel your pain though. Some people just have different tastes and they should at least respect it with a choice. Just last week I was filling out a survey about favorite pizza toppings and they neglected to add, “Shitting in my fucking mouth.”

    • BigJonno says:

      I don’t know why people are saying there are three options. There are clearly only two; Unreal Tournament and wrong.

    • Schaulustiger says:

      Bah, you all fell for it.

      Everything but Q3 was included to fool you.

    • Kester says:

      Jim is collecting the names of everyone who didn’t put Q3 and is going to kill them with his mind. Or, you know, maybe just strafe jump them to death.

    • Elusiv3Pastry says:

      Counter-Strike beta 0.7.2 was perfection. All else is crap, ESPECIALLY anything 1.0 or above.

      Quake 3 was fun, but Unreal Tournament was amazingly shiny.

    • Cael says:

      I was quite disappointed there was no return to castle wolfenstein option :(

    • Carra says:

      TF2 of course. Followed by RTCW and well, UT.

    • luphiso says:

      DM MORPHEUS CLASSIC!! *foams at mouth*

    • AlexW says:

      That one was evil. I have fond memories of all three. I ended up putting 1.6 down on account of putting far more time into it at home, whereas Q3 and UT were LANning at school.

    • RodeoClown says:

      Fourth (or fifth)ing the “you missed TF2” option. So I didn’t answer. I think you’d be justified in reading any “no response” on that question as “TF2”.

      Also – I think Alec would win in a fight, but I love John the mostest.

    • Vinraith says:

      TF2 isn’t contemporary with the other games, and therefore would make no sense as an option. It’s “which of these three to you prefer” not “which multiplayer shooter is the best ever.”

    • Surgeon says:

      You losers!
      All your games exhibit a distinct lack of vehilces and a persistent online world.
      And therefore the answer is…
      PlanetSide :D

    • Surgeon says:

      Spelling fail.

    • Alexander Norris says:

      Counter-Strike is literally the worst game ever designed. Just a heads up for people who’ve somehow lost their mind.

    • DrGonzo says:

      Old school Day of Defeat is the best clearly. And if you think Counter-Strike is the worst game design then I’m sure you haven’t played Modern Warfare’s multiplayer.

    • Wendelius says:

      I had to leave the best FPS question blank as I have no clue. Imagine that. A PC player who doesn’t do FPS’es.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      No, DrGonzo, it has the EXACT SAME DESIGN.

    • perfectheat says:

      Weirdly enough those are the 3 games I have played the most ever. But I probably would have clicked Natural Selection if it was an option. I did go for Q3 though. CS lost it self somewhere in the betas and after seriously getting into Q3 I had a hard time going back to my old friend UT.

  7. wrong says:

    What a waste of time that was. I thought you actually wanted to gather useful information about your readers. Guess you’re just having laugh?

    • Phil says:

      What a waste of time that was. I thought you actually wanted to gather useful information about your readers. Guess you’re just having laugh?

      If you knew anything about running a site like this, you’d know that to make it pay, you’ve got to have demographic information about your audience. Ad buyers will pay considerably more if half decent demographic information is available for the site audience: it helps them target their advertising appropriately. Getting it wrong can be worse than doing no advertising at all, so it does make a significant difference.

      Hence the questions about expenditure & household income. The rest is (highly amusing!) filler. If you want your good hosts to continue putting their time into the site & making their content available for you to read for no charge, when they could be off doing other stuff that pays the rent, then you should fill in the form with good grace.

      Oh, and Quake3 is clearly the best shooter. How could there be any other choice?

    • Phil says:

      Drat. Failed the close the <i> there.

  8. ninjutsu63 says:

    Why is the wii not on question number 9?

  9. Gabriel says:

    I think there’s something missing in the best multiplayer FPS:
    Team Fortress 2
    How the hell did you forget about it?

    • Flaringo says:

      Maybe because it doesnt qualify

    • Malcolm says:

      Multiplayer: Check!
      First-person viewpoint: Check!
      Shooter: Check!


    • Vinraith says:

      It’s like answering “are you a Beatles or an Elvis person?” with outrage that Nirvana was not an option.

    • drewski says:

      “Beatles, Elivs or Stones?”



    • Jason Moyer says:

      The correct answer for Beatles/Elvis/Stones? would be “The Kinks” anyway.

    • Casimir's Blake says:

      Anyone equating TF2 with the cesspit of emo bullshittery that is Nirvana deserves a kick in the arse.

      I’m surprised Doom wasn’t an option, though. For the hardcore super-shotgunners!

  10. RLacey says:

    I don’t like revealing household financial info (but fortunately could leave it blank, so good good).

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      I love Big Broth- I mean RPS so I wanted to answer it but I’m not a Limey.

      And I dunno what the conversion rate from Pounds to Dollars is right now, and I am lazy. Lazy like an American. Because I am one.

  11. Snall says:

    No STRATEGY pick for game types? I know there’s not many of us…but ffs…an RTS may have strategy in the title..but lol

    • Navagon says:

      Choosing between UT and Quake 3 was bloody difficult. Even in terms of number of hours. In the end I went with UT because of all the additional awesomeness brought by 2004, 3 and their respective mods.

    • Chaz says:

      I nearly went Counter Strike but then remembered I spent far more time playing UT, it just had a far superior spread of modes and maps when compared to the other two, Assualt mode being one of my favourites. Although really Tribes and HL: Team Fortress were my main multiplayer FPS favourites.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      It asked for a single game, not a series.

    • DrGonzo says:

      I almost went for Quake 3 then I remembered it was awful. Why wasn’t Quake 2 on there? Loved the multiplayer in that.

  12. Rath says:

    Lack of a “Do you intend to buy a completely new gaming PC this year” question distressed me, so I just checked the boxes for GPU, Sound Card, etc.

  13. The_B says:

    My problems with the survey – and by problems I don’t mean end of the world, I’m just whinging for the sake of it, so err… sorry. :(

    Anyway – for question 2 I prefer Team Fortress 2 to any of those, I’m afraid.
    For question 8 – why can I not select Quinns? :(
    For question 9 – what about Wii? Eh? (I don’t have one, as I clarified this is just me being whiny)
    And for 28 – is there a ‘I was just stalking you all and this came up’ option?

    • Starky says:

      The reason why Wii was not an option is the question said “gaming platform” of which the Wii is not.


    • Clovis says:

      So a couple of the best platformers ever were released on a non-gaming platform?

    • Starky says:


      You see in order to be a -platform- other (as in non-first party) developers need to attain both quality and success (critical and financial).

      Which has not happened to any real degree.

      The Wii may be a machine capable of playing games, but it isn’t a platform, in the same way an Arcade machine isn’t a gaming platform. Similar logic applies for Mac OS and Linux really.

      My initial response was meant in sarcasm, but you know I’m starting to believe this may be true.

    • Clovis says:

      Yeah, outside of first party titles the Wii really has been a disappointment. The Rock Band/Guitar Hero titles all work fine on it though. There’s Okami and the upcoming sequel.

    • Eternal_newbie says:

      Quinns would obviously lose, Due to lack of Iron

    • thinsoldier says:

      I hate Team Fortress 2

      With all the lesser, lower budget, bargain bin, indie-FAIL, misleading box-art games I’ve bought in my life I strongly consider Team Fortress 2 to be the game I MOST REGRET SPENDING MONEY ON. (…maybe it’s a tie between TF:2 & COD:MW2).

      The game just doesn’t “feel” good. Sure it looks and sounds good and has more personality than anything ever made by man but as a first person shooter it just doesn’t feel good. ALSO all the pointless metadata about the players that they choose to place BIG AND BOLD right next to your crosshair IT SOOOO FRUGGIN DISTRACTING.

      1 additional round of ammo in some weapons, some minor tweaks to the UI, and just “better feeling” and it would be GREAT. But it’s not.

  14. randomnine says:

    I think I started reading RPS because I used to read Kieron’s blog. (Aww.)

    I guess that’s a “games related site” but it feels like cheating.

  15. Zyrxil says:

    Must be Survey O’Clock, just filled one out for Ars Technica.

  16. garrett says:

    i just filled in a bunch of lies, or did I?

  17. Mappy says:

    I just guessed on the household income, because I have no idea how much that is in real monies.

  18. icheyne says:

    I found out about RPS through one or all of you appearing on the PC Gamer podcast.

  19. Gap Gen says:

    Does the games download service list omit Impulse?

    (I thought I saw this and tried to check back but it didn’t let me, so sorry if this is wrong)

  20. Greg Wild says:

    No Problem.

  21. lhzr says:

    no gamersgate, no option for planning to upgrade the cpu/motherboard.

    alright survey, even if a bit wonky in places.

    • Tacroy says:

      I actually just upgraded my PSU, because now that it’s summer my computer has been flaking out and I think it is the el-cheapo Raidmax piece of junk I originally bought for it. I’m gonna ask the guys at jonnyguru if they want it for torturing.

      Seriously, people overlook power supply quality to a ridiculous extent when building their own computers – and the worst part is that power supply problems are like the lupus of computer diseases. Things just start failing at random.

    • Mungrul says:

      They’ve added GamersGate now, but there’s no Impulse weirdly enough.

  22. Lavitz says:

    Best Fps MP choices were horrible. I hate all of those and I am huge shooter fan. Where is COD 4(?)

  23. Vinraith says:

    OK, the lack of grand strategy in the genre question just depresses the hell out of me.

  24. Kab says:

    Wot no Gamersgate in the Digital distribution options??!! What have the Swedes done to offend you :(

  25. Bobsy says:

    Question 2 is the best joke of 10 years ago. You CHILDREN.

  26. Antsy says:

    Get off my back, Survey Monkey!

  27. Adamos says:

    One think missing was in DD services
    Impulse and Gamersgate are certainly bigger than lets say metaboli

  28. El_MUERkO says:

    Quake, UT, CS?

    What kind of question is that!?!


  29. Commander Gun says:

    With all due respect, but scientifically this survey is erm….not too good.
    In question 2 you seem to assume that everyone plays FPS and not only that, you seem to assume that we have played them all and we can make a good judgement about which is the best (more likely, someone just played one and chooses that one as ‘the best’). This is especially weird, since question 5 is basically the same but worded completely different. There’s much more to say about it, but diner is ready now :)

    • snv says:

      Nah, if you haven’t played all of them at some point you automatically disqualify and your opinion doesn’t matter anyways for anything shooter related.

  30. El_MUERkO says:

    Also, Impulse!

  31. Vitamin Powered says:

    I loved the retro-tastic favourite multiplayer FPS question.

    Except when it literally kicked me in the nuts for choosing UT. Damn you Jim!

  32. Sagan says:

    I selected “Word of mouth” when I meant “heard about it on another forum.” (the old 1up forums if you must know)

    And I also have a Wii, and I also buy from Impulse. So there you go for missing those options.

  33. westyfield says:

    Q2: I have played none of these games.
    Q6: I have no idea.
    Q7: So far I’ve got GCSEs, but am doing A-Levels, so what do I choose? Clarification would be good.
    Q11: What, ever? Not normally, but there are some I’d preorder in an instant (I’m looking at you, Mass Effect 3).
    Q18: I’ve never played SotC!
    Q19, 20, 21: I don’t know!

    Seriously, I like that RPS is a bunch of funny gents on the internet, but this survey seems a bit… rubbish. (Sorry!)

    • Sobric says:

      s’alright, once you choose “student” your whole survey is voided as irrelevant.

  34. aoanla says:

    The people whining about the FTS question need to notice that Q3, UT and CS are all contemporaries, hence the choice between them being offered. They’re also ‘purer’ FPSes than the alternatives people wanted to pick.

    • Stu says:

      Also: joke question, shurely? I chuckled, clicked UT (AS ALL RIGHT-THINKING PEOPLE SHOULD) and then moved onto letting the RPS collective know how much I’m worth ahead of the inevitable “HELLO MY NAME IS ALEX MERE AND I NEED TO GET SOME MONEYS OUT OF THE COUNTRY CAN YOU HELP” email.

    • Stu says:

      PS. The only DLC I’ve ever bought has been extra songs for Rock Band, but MY GOD have I spent a shitload on cash on that.

  35. Flakfizer says:

    Do i buy DLC?

    I answered no because i wait ’till it’s released on a retail disc or as part of a GOTY edition.

    • Starky says:

      Same, but I picked yes anyway as I technically own all the fallout 3 DLC now.

  36. kai says:

    Thank you, RPS, for making a *survey* of all things fun.

  37. pakoito says:

    I didn’t get scored or labeled. I’m dissapointed.

  38. dirtyallen says:

    Being Canadian having the income question in pounds only reminds me how grossly over-valued your treacherous currency is… I am poor.

  39. Meat Circus says:

    I couldn’t answer all the questions because I don’t have a high enough Paragon rating. :(

  40. mandrill says:

    I didn’t buy Zeno Clash, I won it from your good selves but that wasn’t an option so I answered no. I do own it though.

    • Clovis says:

      Same thing here, but I answered yes. I considered playing it for free would force me to buy Ace Team’s next game on day one (which I almost never do). So, I own it and they’ll eventually get some money from me. The fact that their next game involves knocking things over with a boulder will make that decision much easier.

  41. Urthman says:

    I discovered Rock Paper Shotgun because I was having Old Man Murray withdrawal, was searching the Google for Erik Wolpaw (this was back when I thought Chet was one of Erik’s imaginary characters like Marvin, a belief I reluctantly gave up after hearing you interview Chet on the Electronic Wireless Show) found a great RPS interview with Erik, and never left.

  42. Snargelfargen says:

    So do we get to see the results at some point?

    I’m idly wondering how many other people checked the “bought zeno clash” question.

  43. bookwormat says:

    I have to join the “difficult surveyor” club: Sorry.

    – I consider “Android Phones” to be PCs. Why wouldn’t they be PCs?

    – You cannot buy games on Steam, just subscribe to them. They even write this in their license agreement.

    – John Walker’s Wot I Think of Prince of Persia influenced me to buy Prince of Persia.

    – I never played “Shadow Of The Colossus”.

    – I do not see the difference between “DLC” and “Expansions”. So should I have checked that one radio button because I bought “Warcraft: The Frozen Throne”.I also bought Fallout 3 GOTY, which includes all the expansions.

    I just wanted to write this down here. I actually answered the questions the way I think you expect it. (e.g: “Yes, I ‘bought’ Zeno Clash”).

    • The Hammer says:

      “You cannot buy games on Steam, just subscribe to them. They even write this in their license agreement.”


    • Meat Circus says:

      Well, I consider Android Phones to be a small breed of antelope. Doesn’t make me right.

    • Starky says:

      I’ll second that sigh, every game/program/software from the beginning of time (hyperbole) has had that same clause in it’s legal jargon section – back in the ye olde days it was in the manual.
      You don’t own any software, merely licence it. You may own the storage medium, but you do NOT own what is on it, and you never did.

    • snv says:

      Yeah, but steam and other bad DRMs can just take that licence away from you anytime

    • DrGonzo says:

      I think what Starky said should be made into an automatic response to anyone who complains about not owning games on Steam.

    • Vinraith says:


      I’m not having this argument again, but:

      every game/program/software from the beginning of time (hyperbole) has had that same clause in it’s legal jargon section

      Yes, but they had no means of enforcing it, so it was utterly toothless.

    • bookwormat says:

      @Meat Circus: An Android Phone is a general purpose computer without a gatekeeper. How do you define “PC”?

      @Starky: you never “owned” the software in the old distribution model, but you owned a unrestricted usage license for the software. E.g you could use it at will and pass it on. A steam subscription is more like if you subscribe to a kabel tv channel. (Not that there is anything wrong with that).

  44. Matt Jones says:


  45. Nero says:

    Will there be a re-exam if we fail?

  46. Enne says:

    Only two options for gender? Seriously y’all, it’s 2010.

    • Meat Circus says:

      It’s taken gaming this long to get to *two* genders.

    • Starky says:

      The options for gender should simply be yes and no.

    • Arthur Barnhouse says:

      There are only two genders, just a wider possibility of what those genders might mean. Transgenders self-identify as one or the other.

    • Bob Bobson says:

      @Arthur. Some do, some don’t. But I suspect putting an “other” option there would lead to enough false positives that the survey would be less valuable if they had. Something like the census though is well out of order if it only lists two gender options.

    • Meat Circus says:

      That depends if you’re talking in a grammatical, sociological or biological sense.

      In any case you’re wrong about all three.

      Grammatically, English only has one gender, and many languages have one, two, three or more.

      Sociologically, gender theorists and queer theorists have identified hundreds of subtle variations of increasingly less rigid maleness and femaleness, through transsexual, inter-sexual and androgynous gender roles.

      Biologically gender consists of discussion of brain structure, hormonal balance, primary and secondary sexual characteristics and all the way down to one’s chromosomes.

    • Lars Westergren says:

      “It’s taken gaming this long to get to *two* genders.”

      I love you, Meat Circus. Marry me?

    • Lars Westergren says:

      @Meat Circus

      Oh, and since jokes don’t always translate well on the Internet, to clarify: this wasn’t sarcasm or a real come on, but more of a “I like your posts and I’m happy you have started posting on RPS again”.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      Yeah. I figured “Male” wasn’t exactly accurate for me, but “as manly as Saxton Hale” wasn’t an option.

    • Arthur Barnhouse says:

      To say that there are hundreds of “genders” is not useful. People do not identify as these hundreds of variations. If we were to have a discussion of race, you’re response surely wouldn’t be “There are thousands of variations which would span across genetic, geographic, and sociological issues.” Of course not, because that isn’t actually useful. It’s a suggestion that, in fact, there is no such thing as demographic labels at all. Which is great, but isn’t particularly helpful.

    • Dawngreeter says:

      Actually, a lot of people identify with genders which aren’t the two dominant ones.

      The best solution to this issue was how XKCD dealt with it. The question was: “Do you have a Y chromosome?”

    • Bob Bobson says:

      @Dawntweeter, but xkcd were surveying to do with colour perception, a number of the genes for which are encoded on the X/Y chromosome pair so it genetically matters. RPS are asking for reasons of aiding their demographic data to aid advertising so what matters is how someone identifies themselves in terms of gender, making the Y xkcd approach less useful. I guess one way they could have asked it would be “Are you more likely to buy stuff from an advert that is designed to appeal to a male audience or one that is designed to appeal to a female audience?”. But that is seriously unweildy.

    • Arthur Barnhouse says:

      “Actually, a lot of people identify with genders which aren’t the two dominant ones.”

      Name one. Seriously, name a gender other than male or female that 1% of the British population self-identifies as.

    • Arthur Barnhouse says:

      *Sigh* Actually, you know what? I’m just being churlish. This is a really silly fight, and there is no reason adding an “Intergender/Transgender” option would not be the end of the world. It just seemed a bit much to suggest that a demographic survey was behind the times, when Intergender and Transgender represent so small a poplulation of Britian and America, less than .5%. But it was a silly thing to get in a fight about, so I’ll back down.

    • MajorManiac says:

      They should just have put a slider with Duke Nukem and Lara Croft at the two extremes…

      Though maybe Duke would just make it confusing. :)

  47. Pmeie says:

    I liked the last question the best.

  48. BigJonno says:

    I’m surprised that there hasn’t been massive nerdrage at the question about a console game!

  49. Baka says:

    Filled it all out, 18 was funny, BUT-
    A huge step in getting rid of the questionable advertising would be to sort out your PayPal-Problems.
    If I’ve had a CC, I wouldn’t use PayPal in the first place.

    A bit OT, but meh.