Numberwang: Portal 2 Part 2. And 3.

Drip, drip, drip. There’s going to be seven parts of this in total, so you might want to wait until next March, or whenever they’re finished, to watch the whole lot in one go. S’pretty though. Don’t think we need to worry that Portal 2 will be a) brief or b) just another collection of levels. They’re really going for it, as my second great-great-grandma three times removed used to say about the local goat-herders.

First up, Excursion Funnels. No, not the Eurostar, but a way to turn portals into a sort of anti-gravity conveyor belt. Includes a companion cube-alike, but without the love:

Next, Faith Plates. Or “jump-pads”, as good ol’ uncle Quake used to say. Looks like they’ll lead to plenty of exhilarated, death-defying panic:

Jumpy mega-fun, but… these clips are far too short, yes? From hereon in, better to do a round-up once it’s all finished, I suspect.


  1. Doug says:

    Let’s rotate the board!

  2. Antsy says:

    That’s Numberwang!

  3. Meat Circus says:

    Bless you, Plates. BLATES.

  4. Meat Circus says:

    Was that Noel Fielding’s voice playing the mockney companion sphere in Part 1?

    • El Stevo says:

      @ Meat Circus:

      No, it was Rich Lord, an artist at Valve. It’s not a mockney accent, and it doesn’t sound anything like Noel Fielding.

    • Stu says:

      I thought it was Noel Fielding too, but it turns out it’s one of the Valve staff.

    • Stu says:

      Curse you, El Stevo! It DOES sound like him in places though.

    • Michael says:

      No, apparently it was just some guy from Valve doing a fill-in voice until a real actor shows up. Though it’s proven so popular, I guess they may keep it.

    • Meat Circus says:

      It bloody does sound like Noel Fielding, otherwise I wouldn’t have said it.

      The campaign to ensure Wheatley’s voice doesn’t change starts here.

    • Aninhumer says:

      I notice it only seems to be popular with people who aren’t actually British.

    • El Stevo says:

      It bloody well does not.

    • El Stevo says:

      @ Aninhumer:

      I like it and I’m English.

    • Jamesworkshop says:

      I hated that voice I found it unbearable, i’m also English

    • Nickless_One says:

      I liked it and I’m not English, now we just need non-English who hated it to have all combinations :)

    • Jamesworkshop says:


      I also though the dialogue was pretty rubbish as well

    • Wulf says:

      I personally loved it, and I’m Welsh.

      It had a lot of character for what was technically a featureless mechanical eyeball.

    • DJ Phantoon says:


      I think someone’s parents are smartasses.

    • Ilinx says:

      It does sound like Noel Fielding. I like it and I’m English, though the delivery needs a second pass. Of the dialogue that is.

  5. Tyshalle says:

    Kinda makes me nauseous just watching the video.

    • Bureaucrat says:

      Those levels look fine from a nausea perspective. My problem with Portal was the momentary “which way is up?” feeling when passing through a portal on a different plane/orientation than the one you entered. Fortunately, I could usually play for 45 minutes or so before beginning to feel actually ill, and the game was short enough to completable in small bites.

  6. Björn says:


  7. Stijn says:

    Anyone else getting a CANYON.MID vibe on the beginning of each video?

    • disperse says:


      Oh, wow, yes! But I went to C:\WINDOWS\Media and, horrors of horrors, looks like they removed CANYON.MID after Windows 98.

  8. Serenegoose says:


  9. noxxit says:


  10. Haggai Elkayam says:

    This looks awesome.

  11. Samuel Bass says:

    I have to say, that looks quite lovely.

  12. The_B says:

    Jumpy mega-fun, but… these clips are far too short, yes? Like heroin


    • DJ Phantoon says:

      oh god man

      just one more trailer and I’ll quit

      just one more!

      In unrelated news, XCOM is 75% off on Steam today!

    • ChaosSmurf says:

      Like lines of cocaine

  13. westyfield says:

    Das ist nummerwang!
    Rotieren das brett!

  14. FernandoDante says:

    Yeah, pretty sure these videos have all been up on Gamespot since E3…

  15. Name (required) says:

    These two clips are small cuts of a larger video right here: link to

    This Youtube video is itself part one of three videos, all of which are already online.

  16. Decimae says:

    Still releasing known footage(look for the IGN E3 Portal 2 demo), but in better quality, though. It would be cool if they were to release at least one new video(They’ll likely release another 4 videos about old content; lasers, excursion funnel and the 2 gels).

  17. Spinoza says:

    Game about goat-herders on heroin going for it , now kindly please.

  18. bleeding_gums says:

    I’m not going to watch these videos or any other Portal 2 footage because I know its going to be good and I want to experience it for the first time when I actually play the game.

    • Pmeie says:

      I was going to do that, but then I watched these, but now you’ve strengthened my resolve.

      (Until the next ones come out.)

  19. Freud says:

    I fear they are trying to bring in too many new gimmicks. Portal gun + gravity is plenty enough if puzzle design is good enough.

  20. Skinlo says:

    I’ve seen this plus all the rest already =/ I was hoping for some new stuff, but I guess most people haven’t.

  21. Arthur Barnhouse says:

    I still don’t get that sketch.

  22. LOS BUMBLEROS says:


  23. CaptainHairy says:


  24. DJ Phantoon says:

    Uncle Quake was a very very very very very violent man. I think he would disapprove any type of jumping without dangerous rockets.

    • Rane2k says:

      Uncle Quake likes them, especially when they transport enemies in a nice straight line upwards, to be held there with a lightning gun. He also remembers them from when they were still called “wind tunnels”. :-)

      On topic:
      This looks great, I think I have to check out the first game!
      (Yes, I lived under a rock the last few years and have not played it yet. ^^)

  25. karthik says:

    My self-enforced Portal 2 blackout will not allow me to watch these videos. Those Youtube embeds are tempting as hell, though.

  26. wiper says:

    Is sickened by the referencing of Numberwang over Quizzlestick. /SICKENED/

    *never reads RPS again*

  27. rocketman71 says:

    Awesome, but the surprise still was a fucking lie.

  28. Benjamin Finkel says:

    Hey! Foot-Pounds are energy, not force!


  29. Free Microsoft Points Codes says:

    Ever since I beat it on the orange box I’ve been waiting for a new one!

  30. Tyler says:

    This isn’t brave. It’s murder.

  31. Veret says:

    “…discover whether the capacity for trust is effected by being catapulted into space.”

    Am I the only one who cares about this? I am? Good, that means the rest of you are sane.

    The only reason I brought this up is because, while “affected” should be used in 99.9% of phrases like this, “effected” is also grammatically correct. It just means the exact opposite thing. Which makes me wonder whether they did that on purpose, Valve being what they are.

    • OptionalJoystick says:

      I could understand effecting trust, but effecting the capacity for trust sounds wrong to me. The original Portal trailer said “Aperture Labratories”, so they do have previous.

    • D says:

      Surely the opposite of affected would be, not affected.

  32. Ben says:

    This looks so awesome, so going to get it :)

  33. DJ Phantoon says:

    Hey, was thing dragging you away at the end given a voice before or is that recent?

  34. elFarto says:

    These ones are slightly better as you can here some guy from Valve talking about it:

    Part 1
    Part 2
    Part 3

  35. itsallcrap says:

    Obviously, this will be mind-blowingly astounding.

    I just hope they make a shed-load of levels this time – was a little disappointed when I completed the first one in one night.

    • Dominic White says:

      It’s confirmed that Portal 2 will be around (or at least, I forget) twice the length of the first game. That’s just for singleplayer – there’s a whole seperate co-op campaign as well, which is the same length again.

    • itsallcrap says:


  36. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    You know, you could have opted to wait until all of these are released and then make one big post about ’em.

    Yeah, I know, Valve is considered awesome around these parts. The special treatment of all things Valve bugs me a bit, is all. Carry on.

  37. Arnulf says:

    I wish I hadn’t watched these trailers. While they’re wonderful, I’d like to discover the solutions to the puzzles myself. Well, either I forget how it’s done when the game is released, or the riddles will be slightly different.

    Anyway, the personality sphere with glottal-stop-Lily-Allen-accent is a bad idea. Especially contrasted with that GlaDOS voice.

    Bad idea.

  38. superking208 says:

    …what about cucumberwang?

  39. jsdn says:

    I’m afraid to watch these videos, because looking at the length of Portal tells me I’ll see a good portion of what Portal 2 has to offer (even if they say it’ll be twice as long, that’s still only a few hours). It’s not like I don’t plan to get the game on release day anyway.

  40. pupsikaso says:

    That heartless companion cube broke my heart the instant I saw it =(