Residential Evil: I’m Not Alone

Giant zombie or tiny man?

Acutely aware that StarCraft II is coming up rather a lot lately and we should thus be careful to not neglect other games, I figured I’d have a quick search for what other PC titles are out at retail this week. (Or, which other PC titles are mad enough to come out this week – commercial suicide, I suspect). Not a lot, as expected. Commander: Conquest Of The Americas we’ve already told you about, a budget version of GRAW 2 ain’t ultra-news, and ItzaBitza is only suitable for children or people who still need to learn how to read.

Then there’s I’m Not Alone.

It’s a horror game. It’s an action game. It’s a puzzle game (I think). It’s… well, it’s about as polar opposite to a Blizzard title as you could get.

It’s a German an Italian game about an exorcist visiting a friend’s house, and encountering suitably exorcisty stuff.

Here’s a trailer from 2008. I will leave you to discover the acting for yourself:

ACTING.

Two years on, here’s what it looks like in action. “The horror shocker of the year,” apparently. Well, I saw Kieron in his pants the other day. I don’t think you can get much more shocking horror than that.

But what’s it like? I’ll hand you over to a man on the YouTube comments thread, responding to a query as to why I’m Not Alone is being sold rather cheaply even before it’s been released:

“Because the game sucks. I bought the game. You can enter the demons world by activate it. You will have this sword that can leech health. Graphics are not so great. Stopped playing after 30 minutes of playing it. If I’m all wrong, then this is your game. Go and have it.”

Yes, go and have it. Perhaps he is wrong, though. Perhaps he’s just got some strange grudge against the game. Perhaps, in his critical opinion… he is alone.

Enough frowning at videos: here’s how the game is officially described.

Get ready for the spine-chiller of the year! Playing an intrepid exorcist in this thrilling action adventure, you are summoned to an old mansion haunted by a supernatural force.

Once on the site, sheer horror awaits you: Terrible demons have risen from hell and are spreading fear and terror! Now it is up to you to put an end to their sinister doings. With a quick trigger fi nger and a keen power of deduction, you make your way through the mansion and eventually discover a horrifying secret… Are you prepared to save mankind?

Then there’s the list of features, courtesy of its Amazon page. There is a reason that I love this list. Can you spot what it is?

Cinematically told story guaranteed to creep you out
Dozens of types of enemies and weapons make for variety
Dynamic light, shadow, and camera effects
Realistic and highly detailed graphics, thanks

There is not a day goes by that I don’t thank someone for their realistic and highly detailed graphics.

Further digging has revealed that I’m Not Alone was actually released back in March, on Steam at least. Presumably this Friday’s release is its first appearance in a retail box. Excellent news either way, for it does mean you can play this game right away. You may or may not be alone in it. The Steam page rather disappointingly explains the Thanks mystery, too. I’m going to pretend I didn’t see it. I’m happier that way, thanks.

40 Comments

  1. Eclipse says:

    It’s not a german game, it’s italian

  2. CreepingDeath says:

    That first trailer had me somewhere between pissing myself laughing and cringing…

  3. Xercies says:

    God that acting is awful…no one says Some time passes…and its in the script a lot.

  4. Gotem says:

    I’m not alone… in the dark?

  5. Jeremy says:

    I actually struggled to find the specific thing you loved, I personally loved the bold claim of “guaranteed to creep you out” and the artfully worded “make for variety.”

  6. Alexander Norris says:

    His name is Patrick, and he cannot speak English.

    OhgodtheCockneyaccentithurtsITHURTS

  7. Heliocentric says:

    I’m not alone, thanks.

  8. egg says:

    Thanks.

  9. yourgrandma says:

    This video contains content from playcast, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds, thanks.

  10. faelnor says:

    That’s what the project lead must have kept saying to himself a lot to keep his sanity.

  11. Torgen says:

    I always prefer sheer terror to opaque terror.

  12. Nova says:

    The running animation is quite shocking at least.

  13. DethDonald says:

    Thanks.

  14. Fumarole says:

    Since when do taxis have the checks inside?

  15. fallingmagpie says:

    Desperate.

  16. destroy.all.monsters says:

    I loved the cockney/aussie hybrid accent. At least that was amusingly bad. The main guy – really really terrible.

    Also: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS CONTENT FROM PLAYCAST WHO HAVE BLOCKED IT IN YOUR COUNTRY ON COPYRIGHT GROUNDS.

    I guess they have no intention of selling any copies in Amerika.

  17. Javier-de-Ass says:

    “Further digging has revealed that I’m Not Alone was actually released back in March, on Steam at least.”

    up on gamersgate since february 23. very negative reviews on there aswell, so I never bothered picking it up

  18. Flameberge says:

    “Acutely aware that StarCraft II is coming up rather a lot lately and we should thus be careful to not neglect other games”

    HA! Don’t worry, RPS has come nowhere near close the level of single-mindedness as other gaming websites. Like say, I don’t know… pcgamer.com. Or maybe it’s the official StarCraft website now, it’s been difficult to tell over the last week.

  19. eclipse mattaru says:

    Yo see the framerate in the video? That’s at least twice as many frames per second as you’re getting, no matter what kind of space age computer from the future you have. Who plays a game like that?

    I’m a huge fan of underdogs. I’ve supported the Penumbra guys all the way, I genuinely enjoyed You Are EMPTY and recommended it left and right, I’m about to buy Dark Sector for the second time –you know the type. This game, however, is the sort of thing that justifies piracy: If you had spent 40 US dollars on this, you’d be legally allowed to murder a small child to vent the frustration.

  20. BeamSplashX says:

    If I see a light flashing, does this mean that I’m not alone, or I’m low on health?

  21. Eidolon says:

    Sad that this got released on Steam and Spirit Engine 2 didn’t.

  22. OldRat says:

    See, in real horror games you dual wield big knives and shoot zombies in the face with a crossbow. None of that running away or hiding or trying to preserve your precious few chances at survival, you just stab the living shit out of everything. Especially if it’s a huge zombie beating you over the head with a fist the size of a large Christmas ham.

    Although I have to hand it to them, the premise the name sets is very honest. He’s definately not alone in there. Based on what I’ve seen, I’d rate this game a solid 10/10 on the not alone scale. Yup, not being alone is definately what he’ll be doing.

  23. Carra says:

    Damn, I thought it was this:
    “Dynamic light, shadow, and camera effects”

    -> A comma before an and, horrible!

    • MWoody says:

      That’s the correct way to do it. If you omit that comma – as has become very popular to do “because it sounds better” in the past few decades – many sequences become confusing.

      A few examples of the horrors you see if you omit the “Oxford” or “serial” comma:

      “The dresses were blue and white, yellow and white and green and white.”
      “My friend studies zoology, primate culture and mating.”
      “This book is dedicated to my roommates, Frank and God.”

  24. Hey hey hye says:

    Sounds interesting. Rather then just mentioning they exist, you guys should review more obscure games like this. Most of them might be terrible, but it would worth it to find the one gem. Plus its entertaining for your readers either way and it gives us content we can’t find on any other sites.

  25. preded says:

    “This dissertation is dedicated to my parents, God and Ayn Rand.”

  26. l1ddl3monkey says:

    I was taking a vacation from doing voiceovers for straight-to-DVD movies…

  27. GregP says:

    Totally unrelated to the subject of the post, but you mentioned a ‘budget version of GRAW2″? What’s that about?

  28. Navagon says:

    Someone should have pointed out to the devs that taxis have the yellow with the white and black chequered pattern on the outside of the door. Not the bloody inside.

  29. Pope Guilty says:

    I just checked on Steam- $40 for what by all accounts is a piece of shit. Yeah, no, thanks.

  30. SMadin says:

    Let’s see.

    * Protagonist named Patrick, with a background in dealing with paranormal creepies.
    * Invited by an old friend for a visit at friend’s mansion.
    * Creepy atmospherics, doors slamming and whatnot.
    * Paranormal creepies appearing and disappearing to maximize tension.

    Just add some standing stones and a family curse, and…hey, Patrick’s last name isn’t Galloway, is it?

  31. Revias says:

    seems like Amazon got lazy with it’s description, I assume it was meant to be the same as the steam one;
    Cinematically told story guaranteed to creep you out
    Dozens of types of enemies and weapons make for variety
    Dynamic light, shadow, and camera effects
    Realistic and highly detailed graphics, thanks “to the powerful S2Engine
    Logical puzzle design and engaging close combat
    Several difficulty levels”